All He Ever Wanted Was A Girl He Wouldn’t Cheat On
People always ask me why I haven’t been in a relationship, and I say, “Because I have yet to meet a girl I wouldn’t cheat on.”
I say it as a joke, sort of. The truth is, I know when it comes to cheating, it’s a personal choice. No one ever put a gun to my head and told me to cheat anytime I did in the past. But I also think it’s my choice to find a woman who makes it the easiest choice in the world not to cheat.
The fact is, some men are lazy. They’ll accept any girl who likes them and make them their girlfriend. As I always like to say, the girl a man wants most is the girl who wants him the most. Some of us like the girls who don’t make it difficult for us to love them. We don’t want to deal with the frustrations of the chase.
Eventually I outgrew such a trivial need or desire. Call it a boost of much needed self-confidence, or a wake up call, but at some point I realized what was more important than how a girl felt about me was how I felt about the girl. I didn’t want to be with any girl who didn’t hold my interest beyond her presence.
I lost a girl I loved very much because I made a choice to cheat, and I think it takes those types of situations to learn the lessons necessary to at least not to want to do it again. I used to think cheating was par for the course, or if I did it, the girl would eventually get over it. These were just girlfriends, they weren’t my wife. I could cheat, and if I got caught, no law would be broken, only a heart.
All of these things are easy to say if you never get caught. But I did get caught, and everything that came as a consequence of being caught was all I needed to know cheating is not worth it. Cheating is a horrible thing deserving of no reprieve. Cheating crushes the trust in a relationship like it was nothing. Cheating is a one-way ticket to hell on earth.
Cheating can also happen again.
Want to know why so many men are out there taking their time to commit to one woman? If it isn’t their own efforts to bettering themselves (to thine own self be true), it’s because they don’t want to cheat. When we see things like the Tiger Woods situation, the first thing we heard a lot of men say is he should have never got married in the first place. Those men know like I know, the lifestyle he was going to be able to afford was going to give him access to all types of women he would never find at home. We all knew Tiger wanted to get married because he believed it was cheaper to keep her, but as we all saw, it’s expensive to lose her as well. So why bother committing if we know we can’t be committed in the first place? Men ask the question just as often as women do.
To be honest, I have no idea.
I do know a man like me loves the idea of being with one person for the rest of my life more than I love the idea of chasing all types of women around for the rest of my life.
When I wrote about the latest rating system my friends and I developed for women, I tried to breakdown all these reasons why it was such a necessary system to use, but I don’t think I mentioned one of thoe most essential reasons. If I put a woman in a percentile. I am basically laying out the odds I won’t cheat on her. So therefore if I say a woman belongs in the 90th percentile (the creme de la creme of percentiles), I am basically saying there’s a 90 percent chance I’m not going to cheat on her. Ask any man alive and he’ll take those odds. Most men take 80 percent odds. It’s what we have all come to know as the 80/20 rule. Most women are only going to give a man 80 percent of what he wants, the rest of the women out in the world only account for the other 20 percent of what we want. When a man breaks it down like that, he begins to think that’s good enough for him to keep still and stick with the woman he has.
Unfortunately, I don’t know what constitutes a 90 percent and I don’t know what constitutes anything less. I don’t know what drives a man to cheat, but I do know if a man makes the right choice and waits to find himself a woman he is absolutely crazy for, the likelihood he will cheat decreases dramatically. The question is, does such a woman exist? Absolutely, and here’s how I know.
Because with my own eyes I have seen a man with a woman he is absolutely crazy about. I know what it looks like when a man finds the woman of his dreams, because he isn’t even paying attention to other women who are around him or in his vicinity. Even when he does notice one, all he’s doing is sizing her up, and comparing him to what he has back home, which he already knows is far better than what he sees before him.
I have also seen men end up with women they know don’t hold their attention, who are more than happy to be with a woman who let’s them do what they want, and therefore, they really, really do what they want. I don’t judge the men, but it’s easy for me to say I don’t envy them. It’s not that they can’t make a choice, it’s that they chose wrong and so they try to make up for it.
As far as I’m concerned, just like I have a choice to be with the woman on the side or not, I also have a choice to be with the woman who is going to be in front. And if I’m doing it right, the woman I choose to put in front, will make me blind, deaf, and dumb to the women on the side.
This diet is killing me, but it’s kind of what I need right now. Ate a grape wrap yesterday and nearly freaked out because I didn’t know it had rice in it. I spit it out on the first bite. Oh, also getting back into my regular church rotation. Went on Sunday and Wednesday last week. Plan to do the same this week. It’s what I need.
The EIGHTH Edition of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast is now up, so please click here to listen