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Five Rules To Clubbing With Your Significant Other

November 1st, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

Back when I was doing the relationship thing, I actually enjoyed going to a club every now and then with my woman. Whether it would be just me and her or us and some other mixed company, a night out with the significant other was always good for me and her. Matter of fact, I would venture to say some of the best nights I ever had at a club was with a woman I was dating.

Thing is, there’s rules to clubbing with the significant other. If you’re going to do it, ere are five things to remember. Please feel free to add others in the comments section, just don’t say I forgot any. I don’t forget any, I just pick the ones I like the most. Moving on…


All girls hate waiting in line. Whether they’re at the supermarket or the DMV, the only people I see complaining about the line is women. Men will complain too, but only if they have somewhere to be. The club especially is where women despise the line the most, possibly because it’s a class system at work. The lower class is in line waiting, the middle class is off to the side of the line talking their way out of waiting, and the upper class is being led straight through. At the very least, a man should be middle class when his woman is in tow. If he’s not he should find another club because the only thing worse than not getting into the club at all, is the wait in line to get in.


Getting separated when partying with a significant other is inevitable. Also inevitable, a man approaching the female significant other. Now of course, she should tell the guy she’s with her boyfriend even if her boyfriend has went somewhere else, but sometimes the guy doesn’t believe her or doesn’t really much care. No need to worry, just remain calm and wait for the male significant other to return. Then, handle the introductions properly. A woman should not lead on the person who approached her, but remain friendly enough so that when her man does return, egos are not bruised and faces do not get bruised either.


It’s not so much drinking as it is getting wasted. Even if neither person is driving home at the end of the night, no couple should be getting drunk together in public spaces like the club. When it’s a night inside? Sure. Bottoms up! But in the club, has anyone ever seen the drunk couple staggering over one another arguing about dumb stuff? I have and it’s ugly. I would go so far as to say one of the new codes of chivalry should be for a man when going out with his woman should stay sober or at least drink lightly buzzed and let his woman get hammered. The last thing I ever want is a woman patting my back telling me, “Baby it’s going to be okay” all while I’m praying to the porcelain gods.


I don’t care if Rihanna’s “Hard” is her favorite song of the moment, I’m not dancing to it. No, not even during Young Jeezy’s part. I don’t even know the words to Young Jeezy’s part so she should just hit the dance floor with her girls while I stand off to the side at the bar instead of trying to pull me out there with her. She doesn’t see me doing the same thing when Akinyele’s “Put It In Yo Mouth” comes on.


Unless you two want to be that couple arguing in the bathroom area, I suppose you follow this rule and make no exceptions to it. As the old saying goes, “Dance with the ones who brought you.”

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  • S B

    I really like this post b/c I just did this last night! All these rules definitely apply!

  • Malikah

    Very Cute and Oh Sooo True!!

  • Jozen Fan

    a comment should be, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EACH OTHER. Stop with this, “too cool to show affection” to each other nonsense. Theres nothing like being out with your S.O. and feeling like they don’t wanna be all up on you. Why even come out? Stop being so modest.

  • Anonymous

    so basically you’re saying…If you intend to go clubbing you should never go with a significant other? I agree wholeheartedly Jozen! This post just endorsed my philosophy that going to the club with a significant other is a piss poor date choice. (I have to stay sober and responsible, not dance with anyone else, always introduce my girlfriend as my girlfriend, etc.) That wore me out thinking about it.

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  • Love Jones

    I have nothing to add to this list b/c I usually try my hardest not to go to the club w/ a S.O., but I YouTubed that Akinyele song and I’m over here laughing.

  • Monique06

    I like this, had you written this just a month earlier I might not have gotten in trouble in the club with my man, lol…

  • Ciara Talbot

    I can’t believe you whipped out Akinyele’s “Put It In Yo Mouth”… that had me dying…

  • sugahoneyicedtea

    Interesting topic for a Monday…

  • shay

    I definitely agree with the last rule: only dance with your significant other. I think this factor is what usually leads to the drama because no one wants to see their partner getting down and dirty with someone else on the dance floor.

  • Rebelle

    Agreed. It is soooooooooooooooooo wrong to be drunk in public period, much less both of you drunk.

  • Ellen Nora

    My only comment is regarding the Dance Only With Each Other…. When I’ve gone with SO our rule was all feet were to remain on the ground when dancing with other people, it seemed to work when we went out.

  • Sanchezmeli

    Love the post. Lmao @ Akinyele’s “Put It In Yo Mouth”.

  • Scarlett D

    One of my dirty lil secrets: I <3 Akinyele and all his nastiness. Props for the reference.

  • Scarlett D

    They’re all pretty entertaining, but “Chex in the City” (not sure what constitutes “cussing” anymore) is actually a great song if you ask me…

  • Esquin

    Ummm, perhaps I’m just a freak/weirdo of a woman, but I LOVE Akinyele’s “Put It In Yo Mouth”…

    Takes me back to high school light night cruising and shouting it out while driving around with my girls, so in the club, I may not be dancing to it, but def. will be singing it! hahaha

  • Nadira Rae

    One of the best times I had with an ex was when we went clubbin’ together one night. We’re both music fiends and LOVE to dance, so we had a BALL! Drinks included (but no sloppy drunkeness…gotta keep my moves crisp lol). Plus, I personally feel like the club can be great foreplay…go home and finish what you started on the dancefloor 🙂 (and people, this doesn’t mean ya’ll should look like the couple “dancing” in the bbq scene from “Don’t Be a Menace…”, but it IS your S.O…so have fun!)



  • Mel

    hahah. I love these rules!! However, with the dancing part…the girl should be able to dance with other girls too. LOL.

  • Southern Poise


    This rule struck a chord… and a hint of laughter. I can laugh now, but this fool was crazy. So my Ex, whom I was actually married to 10 years, was very jealous. Which is partially why he’s my Ex. We would occassionally go out. And of course, there would be other men that would approach me in the club, not knowing this fool would be right next to me or near by. Before I could get out of my mouth good, the words “no thank you” if they asked me to dance or “I’m here with my husband” tried to holler, he would jump out like the matrix or pitbull or something, stepping to them like he was secret service and I was the President… lmao.. I was like this dude gone get us both killed. First of all it was dangerous, cause he didn’t know who they were, who they were with, or what they had in the car after the club. He did this all the time.

    Finally one day, it had been a while since we had been out together. One of our long time friends had come home for the weekend, and a bunch of us decided to go out to celebrate. Well he must have gone to the bathroom or something. While he was gone, my ex from high school came by and spoke. He lingered a minute just chatting a little, just wanted to say hi. I did explain I was went my husband. And then he eventually left before my husband got back. “Thank God’ I thought to myself….. but unbeknownst to me, my husband saw him…lol and asked me who he was. I told him who he was and explained I was there with my husband. He didn’t really say much. But left again. Well I be damned, my ex came back and started talking again… of course I’m like dude leave me alone.. He was like I just want to talk. I was like ok, but I already told you I’m here with my husband. He finally got the picture and walked off. But my husband came back and was like why did he come back I thought you told him. I said I did, but he wanted to go find him and comfront him. So we go looking for him, against my will… and my husband was like dude didn’t she tell you she was with her husband. He was like, “I mean. I just wanted to talk. No disrespect. My bad, I didn’t know you had your Bitch in check”….and that’s how the fight started…..

    Never again would I go anywhere with him, not in a club…. EVER…..but

  • Nadira Rae

    Yooooo, I have similar memories with my friends LOL. Driving around in my dad’s car, blasting that tape (I had the single). Dancing all hard to it at basement parties LOL *singing* ‘well you can lick it, you can flip it, you can taste it….’ hahahahaaaaa. If only my parents knew what I was listening to smh.

  • brownivyx

    Very funny (and true) post. To this I would add one more:

    Role-playing is not just for actors. It adds a bit more edgy or goofy fun to the night to play Strangers At the Bar…and also reminds you of why/how you fell for your SO.

    Also, at least ONE slow dance. The one clear-cut benefit of “bringing sand to the beach”, so to speak, is that you actually get to dance with a person who gives you those warm, silly feelings from a Top 40 R & B slow jam. I’m not saying 5 in a row…but one.

  • Trayrific

    My bf and I don’t go to the club often, but when we do, we always have a good time! I love to dance, but used to hate when I was single & would have to deal w/ the gross dudes trying to come up and grind on me. Ew, no thanks! So yea, I really enjoy going to the club w/ my man. Oh and having my man there means guaranteed free drinks all night 🙂

  • Kae-Toya

    your husband was right to fling a few fists that is pure disrespect, im surprised you didn’t slap him yourself.

  • Lola

    i just have to say put it in your mouth is my facorite song and i was so excited when it came on in the club on saturday night.

  • Browneyecar

    My ex and I went out together and had a great time, but he was dancing with other people and so was I. I have to admit that it really turned me on and I couldn’t wait unitl we got home! And my girl and I got into it becuase she thought he was acting inappropriately. I had to tell her to shut her trap, I loved that other women wanted my man but you better believe I was watching to make sure no numbers or anything were exchanged.

  • paloma

    Ha! My memory definitely goes back to undergrad…my girls and I used to get it in on the dance floor to this song1 #shame LOL

  • Southern Poise

    Funny you should say that…lol didn’t quite finish the story… I already wrote a book, but didn’t want to bore you with the rest. But since you asked….

    So I did take a swing at him lol. We both did. The fight was quickly broken up by security. So my husband got dragged out of the club and me following after, forgetting that we actually had 2 other people that came with us. I ended up having to go back in to find them. I found them, and told them what happened and as we’re walking through the crowd, I saw my ex standing between 2 women, and my nostrils started to flare and all I saw was red… politely walked up to him and hit him so hard, knocked his glasses off. Stunned him… lol. I turned away, did not look back, and walked off like nothing happened.

    The next day, my husbands friends that were still in the club at the time were all calling me Tyson. That was my nickname for the longest time.

    But still…. did not go anywhere else with him lol.

  • Kae-Toya

    **claps hands** I gave a guy a black eye once in high school days (I say high school days because I went to an all girls high school) and they called me Tyson for a while……… .

  • Southern Poise

    love it!!! lol As long as it’s not 50TYSON LOL

  • Will Killyou

    Clubbing or do you people say “clubbin” is a very low class night out, if you do not realize that then you must be even lower class the average club goer. I was a silent partner in a few restaurants and then we opened a club in NY due to one of partners persistence. This partner was the typical Italian American and he wanted to work the club since he had so little money to put up. My other partner was a Jew who was clearly more savvy than the former but at least as low class. After a year and half with the club i got to observe the culture and can state without any reservation that the culture is the lowest of any. A hick bar or Honky Tonk often boasts better quality clientèle. Almost any women who says they goto a club to just dance is absolutely full of it, and our surveillance video and personal experience at the club support this. Extremely sleazy people the same people who frequent cheap strip clubs. Our club was in New York where there is no shortage of the swarthy low class types that packed our establishment. Many of these people seemed to speak of Miami and Atlantic City (of all places) so i imagine that those areas are filled with the same kind.
    We made pretty good money the first two years and after 30 months I persuaded my two partners to buy me out. I was so relieved to be out of the place and i believed the the club would eventually fall out of fashion. it took a little time but it eventually did see it’s revenue drop and my ex-partners closed the place. Only one of them managed to leave with some money, you probably can imagine which one.. LOL. Anyway, i felt lucky to be out of the business ahead and am very happy that i met and eventually married someone who never felt compelled to club. If you want to dance goto a dance hall, a studio or a ball room. Learn how to dance! If you want to pick up low class women or be picked up by stupid swarthy ethnics then go a clubbin!