New Rule: If I Think Her Friend Is Cuter, I Can’t Date Her
Back in November, I asked my readers what was the best way to approach a girl whose friend I already tried to date unsuccessfully. While some commented encouraging words and noteworthy ways to solve this predicament, the vast majority of them emphatically told me don’t even think about it.
After much consideration of their words against me trying to date the friend of a girl I already failed to date, I have to say I agree. But admittedly, my reasons aren’t as noble as subscribing to some made up girl code most women want to try and administer upon me. The reason why I will no longer try to date the friend of a girl I already tried to date is because I have decided I will no longer date a girl with cuter friends in the first place.
See, it actually pisses me off whenever it happens, and I know plenty of other men will agree.
We meet a girl we find plenty attractive, and step to her accordingly. Third or fourth date, things are going well, and she gets this bright idea to have us meet one of her “besties” for brunch or drinks or something of that ilk. We oblige, get to our destination, notice some fine girl already there, sitting at the bar. And automatically, we’re hoping, and praying that is not the friend of the girl we’re already dating. Then, the girl we’re dating walks in a beeline straight towards this fine (very fine) girl and squealing “HEEEEEYYYY GIRL!”. Now the two of them are hugging, and we’re wishing we were in between the both of them like some sort of human sandwhich. Then introductions are made, and we’re hoping this fine girl doesn’t want a hug, but as it turns out, she goes in for a hug. Now we have a slight bulge in our pants from the embrace, which then goes from slight to full as soon as we sit down and this fine girl takes off her jacket to reveal some serious sweater cleavage. And because of the way we’re sitting, we have to face the sweater cleavage for the entire meal.
Now do we see how this gets frustrating?
Had we known the friend looked the way she does, and had we met the girl we’re dating alongside her friend, the truth is, we probably would have tried to approach her friend. This is nothing against the girl we’re currently dating, she’s plenty cute too, but she obviously isn’t the gold medal in her group of friends.
If any of this sounds way harsh, let me just say this is a reality men might have to face too. I know for a fact some women out there go through the exact same thing I just explained above, only in reverse. They start dating a guy who is moderately attractive only to meet his friends who are way more attractive.
I think both genders can agree how disheartening this discovery can be. All of us want to date the best looking one out of the bunch. Just like no one calls “back window” before they call “shotgun” when they get in a car, no one calls the second cutest looking person in the group before they call for the cutest one.
But as I have learned, sometimes, we can’t always get the cutest one in the group. Sometimes they don’t want us, or they aren’t available, or they just weren’t around before we started dating the less cute one. Sometimes the circumstances are accepted, until we realize the cuter friend is also the type of friend who is always, always around. Now we have a situation in which we’re constantly reminded that a few weeks ago or a few months ago, we jumped the gun. We cashed in a little too soon and as long as we’re dating the one who we cashed in on, while they continue to hang out with the girl we should’ve held our cards for, we’re going to be reminded of this fact.
I definitely expect people to disagree with a lot of what I wrote here, if not on the basis of points, principle. And trust me, I get it. I would hate for a girl to stop dating me all because she gets flustered whenever I bring one of my friends around. But if I got upset, it would only be because of how brutally honest she was about her feelings, which is something I can respect. Besides, I’d do the same thing if I met her much cuter best friend.
The Process: Due to a storm in Northern California, my flight was canceled. I now will be leaving on Thursday to head back, but not to NYC, to Boston, where I will take a train to NYC. Drama.