Until I Get Married

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of being profiled by The Washington Post. The piece went live on their website on Friday and appeared in the paper this past Sunday.

Of course, I knew about the piece long before it ran. The writer — DeNeen L. Brown — and I did several phone interviews and an in-personal interview over dinner during one of my recent visits to D.C. But what caught me completely off guard was a post written about the piece about me on Jezebel.com entitled, “Unmarried 29-year-old New York Blogger Somehow A Novelty.” (Links to both pieces are at the bottom of this post.)

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Since 2009, the most common celebrity I’ve been told I look like is Drake (Mom is now Googling Drake to see if she agrees with this). Sometimes, it’s J. Cole, but mostly, it’s Drizzy. I’m fine with that, really, because prior to Drake, it was still Chico Debarge, and he’s so washed up, I began to take the comment as an insult.

Now that my celebrity-look alike has been updated, the only question I ask when a woman tells me such a thing is, “Would you sleep with Drake?” If the woman says yes, then I thank her kindly for the compliment and of course, try to sing one of Drake’s song in her ear walk away. Do I agree with the comparison, eh, not really, it’s not in my gene pool to get a 5 o’clock shadow. But a compliment is a compliment, and unlike a lot of you women out there, I’m not about to be picky about the way I’m complimented.

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It’s been going on for about a year now, this new party line I’ve been hearing from women. Something about how whatever I want from her I can get from another woman. These days, women don’t like to just tell me no. Instead, they fancy themselves witty and say things like, “Oh Jozen, I’m sure whatever you want to do with me you can do with one of your other girls.”

But this isn’t just my problem, I feel like a lot of men have to deal with this type of response whenever they want to spend some time with a woman with whom they’ve been spending time. “Why are you calling me and not one of your other girls,” they like to ask.

Well, here’s what I’m going to start saying whenever a woman asks me this question or implies such a thing.

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On the latest episode of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast, Jozen talks about out of country vacations with a partner, to steal or not to steal someone’s partner away from someone else, and the craziest question of the week is about the Pittsburgh Steelers and sex.

Take a listen or download and go to formspring.com/jozenc to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin Questions Podcast  or send an email to feedback@untiligetmarried.com.

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I used to have a friend who smoked pot. I knew him before he even picked up the habit, and I remember when he started getting into it. He had this weird little strategy to avoid being labeled a pot head. He would keep count of how many times he smoked.

According to him, so long as he knew how many times he blazed one, he couldn’t be a pothead. He claimed true potheads have no idea how many times they get high because they do it with such regularity, and he didn’t smoke regularly. Within the first three months of his habit, he claimed to have gotten high 152 times. For those not good at math, there are never less than 90 days, never more than 92, within that period of time, which means, my friend definitely developed smoked as often if not more than a regular pothead.

So what’s my point?

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A few weeks back, I wrote a post about the five best hip-hop albums to throw on for a good ol’ fashion make-out session. In that post, I casually mentioned a love for jazz. Almost immediately people in the comments and friends I talk to offline said I should do a similar guide with jazz albums, but I was hesitant.

So instead of playing the role of jazz tourist, I reached out to someone who knows the music both as a fan and a player. Jason Moran (pictured below) is one of the most renowned jazz pianist playing today. His latest album Ten, was hailed by many critics and fans as the best jazz album to come out in 2010 (I’d have to agree), and his contributions to jazz were recognized with a MacArthur Genius grant last year as well.

When Jason and I talked, it was not only about jazz music, but the way it functions in our day to day life. A lot of people like the idea of jazz more than the music itself, and therefore only use it when they want to get romantic or soften the mood. As I told Jason, people take to jazz like wine, where the theater of it is more important than the actual substance. But what to make of the guy who wants to mix things up every now and then? Instead of throwing on some R&B or dorm-room rock, put on a jazz record or go see a jazz show instead of a Maxwell concert (although, that’s not bad).

Today’s post is for that person, the one who is curious about jazz but only has a copy of Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue in their album collection.

Jason took the time to list five essential albums a man should own. The twist? Every one of the artists listed is alive, so not only can their albums be bought, but for those looking to check out some good jazz on date night, a man can buy tickets to see them.

“The way I chose, I thought these albums would represent a good record collection,” said Jason. “If you had these five things in it, you would look kind of thorough and, all these people are visually captivating. I could watch them without even hearing them.”

Just one more thing before we get into Jason’s list. The man was modest enough to not put down his own album, but honestly people, if you don’t own a copy of Ten your record collection is missing something special. Click here to listen to some of it, and click here to buy all of it.

Now, onto the Until I Get Married Guide to Jazz as selected by Jason Moran.

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Jozen on why a woman shouldn’t be in a relationship with mediocre sex, what a man means when he doesn’t want a girlfriend but he wants a fiancee, and how a sidepiece is getting played.

Take a listen or download and click here to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin Questions Podcast or send an email to feedback@untiligetmarried.com.

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I was trying to think of an introduction to today’s post, something about how this one is for my male readers, but isn’t that obvious by the title?

In any case, ladies who have said any of these things to someone else or even to me, don’t be alarmed by the quotes below. Just because a woman says them, doesn’t mean we count them as a strike. It just means they’re not as noble as you might think, ladies. Also, this is not a list of annoying things women say (that would be much longer), rather, this is a list of things women say with an air of pomposity.Women can say them as much as they like, just don’t expect men to interpret them as favorably as they were intended.

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Today’s post is for a close friend of mine, a girl who is like a sister to me. We don’t keep in touch as often as we should, which is probably why when she reached out to me about some drama going on in her life and asked me if I could weigh in on it on this blog, I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Of course, people who have read my blog know I never really take requests. I’m also pretty sure anything I write on this blog could have been kept between herself and I via email.

But she’s going through some trust issues, all of which stem from her boyfriend cheating and lying. Details do not need to be divulged for people to understand what she’s going through. If you’ve been cheated on or if you’ve ever admitted to cheating, you know what this is, and you know it’s not easy.

When she explained her situation to me, she laid out everything as though I was her boyfriend. Ironically, even before she went into specifics, I knew what her boyfriend was going through, because I too, have cheated, I too have lied, and I too know what it’s like to stay with a woman once those two things have been revealed.

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And he’s back! Jozen returns for the 18th Edition of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast. In his comeback episode, he helps a couple women out with their bedroom dilemmas, some tips on getting a blog started, and how a woman should go about making a sex tape should she decide to do so.

Take a listen or download and click here to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin’ Questions Podcast or send an email to feedback@untiligetmarried.com.

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