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The Five Things About A Wedding Men Care About

January 10th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Just so we’re clear, I’m not getting married anytime soon. This is one of those posts I wrote down in my long list  of ideas, and finally decided to write after I was having a conversation with Jermaine. Both he and I were talking about weddings. Yes, weddings.

For the uninformed, men talk about weddings. They may not do so as much as women, but if a group of men hang around each other often enough, every single aspect of their life eventually comes up for discussion, things like, their future wedding. Whether it be way far off or just around the corner, a man’s wedding is something he thinks about and plans out in his head, not obsessively, but probably more than any woman could imagine. We have plans for our weddings too ladies. Here are five of the things we’re thinking about well in advance of the big day.

THE BACHELOR PARTY

Whenever my boys and I talk about our future bachelor parties, we’re constantly trying to outdo each other with over-the-top ideas. Who heard of strippers doing handstands on elephants? I have, because I have talked to men about their bachelor parties and these are the kinds of things they have planned for their celebration. Other men have a more conservative approach, preferring to do an extravagant steak dinners with their closest boys, cigars, and copious amounts of top shelf liquor. All of us universally agree a trip to the strip club is no longer the hot thing to do.

THE BEST MAN

For men such as myself, this dilemma is thought about on a weekly basis at the very least. I have very, very close friendships with at least 10 different guys. Seriously, when I refer to my best friends, it can be any one of these guys. There’s my boys with whom I grew up and graduated high school. Then there’s the boys with whom I went to college and hang out with on a weekly basis. Amongst them, I have no idea which of them will be standing by me the day I’m at the altar waiting for my bride to join me. But I’m thinking of maybe having them fight for it? If any married men came across a similar dilemma at their wedding, I’d love to hear how a decision was made.

THE BRIDAL PARTY

I’m not a greedy guy. When I meet a girl, I’m always inquiring and scouting her friends because I’m thinking of my boys and hoping there’s potentially someone they can get into. At my wedding, the scouting process is going to be even more diligent, and I fully expect her to apply the same process to my groomsmen. I know it’s going to be our day, but we must think of our friends too, and I can’t let my wife-to-be pick just any random group of BFFs. A couple of them have to be a good match for my boys. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t mandate such a rule?

THE RECEPTION

I have a long, long, long list of songs I am going to need to hear at my wedding, including some songs that are very rude and not too monogamous friendly. Doesn’t matter. There’s not going to be a discussion as to whether or not “Slob on My Knob” is appropriate at a wedding reception. We’re playing the song and if not, I will throw my iPod at the DJ.

THE REHEARSAL DINNER

Maybe it’s just me, but rehearsal dinners are honestly my favorite part about a wedding weekend. I obsess over food, so no decision is more important than where we’re going to celebrate our last day before the wedding and the menu that goes with it. I may not know who I’m going to marry, but I hope she doesn’t mind a steakhouse for our rehearsal dinner.

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  • Jae

    bachelor party = skydiving!!

  • Gina

    Yes I was kind of surprised to hear my ex-boyfriend discuss weddings and ask what thought about certain wedding planning ideas. I guess I was clueless to the fact that men even think about these things. Who knew??

  • Mel

    You definitely forgot about the OPEN BAR!!!! I was married once before unfortunately and I have to say this is the main thing my ex-husband cared about. The open bar and that it definitely needed to include top shelf liquor.

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ taut_7

    great post and i agree. men think about marriage and weddings a lot more than women give us credit for. one of my closest friends is getting married in may i’m one of the groomsmen. we are probably going to do a bachelor party weekend in new york. i agree with this 100% “All of us universally agree a trip to the strip club is no longer the hot thing to do.” strippers aren’t even my cup of tea so i know when i get married, my bachelor party will not include strippers.

    i’ve given a lot of thought to who my best man will be as well as my groomsmen will be. i know that i will have at least 10 groomsmen. what can i say? i have a lot of close friends and line brothers. *shrug*

    the bridal party. when my line brother got married in late ’09 he surely didn’t put my effort in or think about his boys when his wife picked the bridal party. major disappointment.

  • Dr. J

    I share the same problem with selecting a Best Man. Probably my closest friend is a girl, and yes, I want her to plan my bachelor party because she knows exactly what I want and will make sure I get it. At this current time, we’ve agreed that she’ll be my “Best Man”, we’re still working on logistics.

  • Anonymous

    The bridesmaids are totally left up to the bride which could include friends and family and should have no bearing on the groomsmen and vice versa. Ain’t nobody trying to match up anybody. It’s that special day and you honor your closest people to stand up for you sans approval from the other mate.

  • Jahna T

    “There’s not going to be a discussion as to whether or not “Slob on My Knob” is appropriate at a wedding reception. We’re playing the song and if not, I will throw my iPod at the DJ.”

    Bwahahaha!!!! Why do I completely agree with this?

  • esoteric

    Solution: 10 best men… when they ask for the ring… Have the ring passed down the line of “best men” that way they all have a part in it!

    I’m not interested in a large wedding… I’ve got the mentality that I only want people present at my ceremony that I feel are going to actually be interested in the love of me and my future husband and our well being… not just critiquing my dress or the flowers… but opening their hearts and sending up prayers as we commit ourselves… my girls already know that if I get my way … yes, they will get the dresses and all that jazz but I won’t be having bridesmaids standing beside me …because everyone in attendance will serve the same purpose of love and support!

    SN: Best believe there will be a blow out reception afterwards for everybody and their momma to celebrate me become a Mrs. and my Mr.

  • Shay

    I often think about my maid of honour and bridal party as well. I have a few friends that I am with all the time and the decision is beyond hard. So I decided to avoid all types of arguments that my sister will be my maid of honour and everyone else will be bridemaids lol

  • Larnelw

    I disagree with 2 points on here; bridal party and the reception.
    Maybe its due to my mindset of never playing cupid between friends but I just can’t see myself worrying about hooking my boys up during my wedding. As for the reception, I can’t see myself playing music that would disrespect or make my family feel uncomfortable. Yeah you want to party and celebrate but im not playing “Put it in my mouth” or any of 2 Live Crew’s greatest hits while mom, pops and all the aunts and uncles are sitting there.

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  • http://twitter.com/ChicaGoGetter B. Ronnie D.

    Great post! Especially the music piece….trust some music from the N.O circa 98-2002ish, and perhaps some Luke will be in the mix…it may be played later in the evening..but trust its just going to be that type of celebration.

  • http://twitter.com/msorvam myrna orvam

    Great post! I have a friend who swears that his first dance song will be Nine Inch Nails’
    “I Wanna F*** You Like an Animal” LOL

  • http://www.christielover.blogspot.com Rebekahchristie

    I think a lot of people take your articles WAY too serious. They forget you’re having fun writing it so their suppose to have fun reading it. I’m not a matchmaker but that idea is too cute. I always enjoy reading your posts because I know you love what you do and you speak from the heart every time.

  • http://acceptonlythebest.blogspot.com/ TierraChanel

    Jozen, you’ve done it again. Restored my faith in the male sex. Thanks! Nice to know that me and my girls aren’t the only ones thinking about weddings.

  • Kel

    Slob on my Knob! Classic! LOL Another good post!

  • A Diva State of Mind

    “Slob On My Knob” though?! LOL and yes, as mentioned from another commenter, don’t forget about OPEN BAR!!!

  • Anonymous

    LOL!!! Throw your ipod at the DJ!! :)
    And yes, those meals are important! Meals & dranks!!

  • sugahoneyicedtea

    iDied @ slob on my knob..naw baby, I like beef 😉

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  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com/ sunt97

    I figured music and food would be a top pick. Men love their food and the last thing they want to not enjoy is the food, booze and music at their own wedding. I am surprised you didn’t mention what you are wearing because men like to be fly on their wedding day. That’s is one task I will def leave up to my husband to be. As long as there are no ruffles, pastels, canes or hats we are good.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • LinZ

    haha.. this list is awesome…. i like how u think about your boys… and also the last meal…

  • http://twitter.com/artrinity artrinity

    Lol I think this list is funny…I know guys think about the bare necessities of the event…But I do want to make sure that whomever the lucky man is is represented as well, equally you know. But one thing I do disagree with you… being from new orleans,for me its all about the brunch…rehearsal brunches think about it…lol

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  • http://joliefolie20.livejournal.com/ Jolie

    We’re playing the song and if not, I will throw my iPod at the DJ.

    Lmfao!

  • Djchriscruz

    Across the board the bachelor party is the first thing men always talk about when it comes to weddings. “A yo remember that one time Ron took that stripper home!?? yo that’s gonna be you!!”

    Open Bar is the next. If your boy had open bar and everybody had a blast then YOU NEED TO HAVE OPEN BAR!

    For me what I wear and what my groomsmen wear is pretty important to me. If my girl had her way we’d look like a cheesy prom couple with matching colors.

    I personally think that the rehearsal dinner isn’t totally necessary. I’ve been to some that are nicer than some small weddings. Others I’ve been to that are just a gathering at someones house with pizzas, fried chicken, and no chairs to sit down and even eat your food. I dont see much

  • Leogoddess

    Wedding party is my sister and his brother that’s it! Duel bachelor/bachelorette party cuz we cool like dat. After party at the house for the Two Live Crew/Plies & Hennessey crowd.