The Five Things About A Wedding Men Care About
Just so we’re clear, I’m not getting married anytime soon. This is one of those posts I wrote down in my long list of ideas, and finally decided to write after I was having a conversation with Jermaine. Both he and I were talking about weddings. Yes, weddings.
For the uninformed, men talk about weddings. They may not do so as much as women, but if a group of men hang around each other often enough, every single aspect of their life eventually comes up for discussion, things like, their future wedding. Whether it be way far off or just around the corner, a man’s wedding is something he thinks about and plans out in his head, not obsessively, but probably more than any woman could imagine. We have plans for our weddings too ladies. Here are five of the things we’re thinking about well in advance of the big day.
THE BACHELOR PARTY
Whenever my boys and I talk about our future bachelor parties, we’re constantly trying to outdo each other with over-the-top ideas. Who heard of strippers doing handstands on elephants? I have, because I have talked to men about their bachelor parties and these are the kinds of things they have planned for their celebration. Other men have a more conservative approach, preferring to do an extravagant steak dinners with their closest boys, cigars, and copious amounts of top shelf liquor. All of us universally agree a trip to the strip club is no longer the hot thing to do.
THE BEST MAN
For men such as myself, this dilemma is thought about on a weekly basis at the very least. I have very, very close friendships with at least 10 different guys. Seriously, when I refer to my best friends, it can be any one of these guys. There’s my boys with whom I grew up and graduated high school. Then there’s the boys with whom I went to college and hang out with on a weekly basis. Amongst them, I have no idea which of them will be standing by me the day I’m at the altar waiting for my bride to join me. But I’m thinking of maybe having them fight for it? If any married men came across a similar dilemma at their wedding, I’d love to hear how a decision was made.
THE BRIDAL PARTY
I’m not a greedy guy. When I meet a girl, I’m always inquiring and scouting her friends because I’m thinking of my boys and hoping there’s potentially someone they can get into. At my wedding, the scouting process is going to be even more diligent, and I fully expect her to apply the same process to my groomsmen. I know it’s going to be our day, but we must think of our friends too, and I can’t let my wife-to-be pick just any random group of BFFs. A couple of them have to be a good match for my boys. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t mandate such a rule?
I have a long, long, long list of songs I am going to need to hear at my wedding, including some songs that are very rude and not too monogamous friendly. Doesn’t matter. There’s not going to be a discussion as to whether or not “Slob on My Knob” is appropriate at a wedding reception. We’re playing the song and if not, I will throw my iPod at the DJ.
THE REHEARSAL DINNER
Maybe it’s just me, but rehearsal dinners are honestly my favorite part about a wedding weekend. I obsess over food, so no decision is more important than where we’re going to celebrate our last day before the wedding and the menu that goes with it. I may not know who I’m going to marry, but I hope she doesn’t mind a steakhouse for our rehearsal dinner.