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The Most Amazing Lesson I Learned About Living With Someone

January 12th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

I don’t have very much time to write today, so I’m going to make this post short.

Whenever I discuss my experience with co-habitation, I like to tell people what I learned. Not only did I get lessons about my woman and who I was as a man to my woman, I also learned lessons about being in a relationship with someone you see everyday. Every. Single. Day.

Of all the lessons learned, the lesson I tell people was the most eye-opening, the most amazing, the most valuable, was this:

It’s actually possible to want to have sex with the same person over and over and over and over and over again.

That’s it.

That’s the lesson.

Seriously. It boggles my mind to no end.

Anyone care to explain what that’s all about?


The Process: Not to sound like one of those Weight Watcher commercials (cause I’m not on Weight Watchers) I’ve lost 20 pounds since I started and definitely dropped down at least one pants size since I changed my eating habits and started my exercise regimen in October.

Poppin’ Questions Podcast: It’s going up tonight.

THE GAME: Fans of The Game might be interested in reading the Episode Recaps I’m writing for the Wall Street Journal. Here’s my write-up of last night’s Season Premier.

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  • sunt97

    Ain’t that the truth. I have a friends and for the last 15 years if we are in close vicinity of one another for more than 5 minutes it’s on, and the sad thing is we can be with other people and it is strong as ever. If he wouldn’t have gotten married we would probably still be up to our same shenanigans, maybe we are?!?!

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  • lbelle

    I really appreciate this post. 🙂

  • Nelle B

    There are some people you just connect with physically and emotionally (I think you’ll only really feel like being with them over and over again when there’s an emotional connection attached to the physical).

    The person you’re living with knows your ins and outs (literally) so there are no (in most cases) inhibitions, you’re willing to explore and let yourself go, so there’s no need to go outside the relationship to try to find someone that knows you as well as your live-in.

  • Adri

    Good post! So true!

  • Melanie Stevens

    Yes, yes it is quite possible.

    One of the few things I remember from that Spike Lee movie ’25th Hour’ is Norton’s character remarking about his girlfriend (Rosario Dawson) that she was the only girl he ever fantasized about after he slept with her.

    I didn’t know what that meant, until…


    And one is never the same after….

  • Miss.Riss

    Good to know.

  • Courty J

    I have a tattoo on my back that speaks to this very concept. It says: “Holding someone is truly believing, there’s joy in repetition.” I believe it wholeheartedly and know that for me to be happy and for my relationship to remain a monogamous one… that much has to be true to me and my significant other.

    When you embrace the one you care about… be it embrace as a hug or embrace as in… I am wrapping “my love” around him, there’s this thing that happens. This connection of two people that is unique to only the two of you. No one else will ever feel that way. Will others feel good? Sure. Better? Maybe. But never exactly that same and that is a crucial part of why this person matters to you. So holding them is truly believing and appreciating that unique special connection and moment. Of course you can do it over and over and over again! There is an indescribable joy in repeating that act. I am absolutely sure that translates sexually.
    Once you find someone you are in sync with and you care for and you share your life with, it can become as much a part of you and as necessary as breathing.

    I so look forward to that again!

  • Ne

    “It’s actually possible to want to have sex with the same person over and over and over and over and over again.”…AND like it, love it, can’t wait to get home to it…Just saying!

  • Scarlett D

    Congrats on the weight loss! That’s significant. Way to go.

    Thanks for spreading the word BTW…your piece really won’t shrivel up and fall off if it doesn’t experience “new..let’s say…warmth” every other weekend.

  • Scarlett D

    I tweeted your quote, hope you don’t mind, that’s lovely.

  • KitKatCuty84

    Just to share in the weight-loss news, I’m down 82 lbs since my biggest weight of 240 lbs at age 15. This is due to a long struggle with exercise, eating and maintaining my commitment. I’m the smallest I’ve ever been as a post-pubescent woman and I’m now finally a healthy BMI. Life is good. Stick to it! 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Agree. No further comment.

  • Leogoddess

    This post calms my fears as I have recently begun co-habitating. Thanks!

  • zy

    I completely agree with this post. I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday as a matter of fact. I’m newly single and have realized that I don’t need nor do I want many, I just want the one. that one person who I can learn inside and out. when you find that in someone… repetition becomes a joy…

  • BCBrowni

    That’s terrible Tiffany….Love yourself more and find someone to call your own.

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  • Jinx Moneypenny

    I’m saying though… LOVE IT.

  • Introducextina

    One thing I wish you could write another post about; the why to not live with your mate before marriage. This is something I’m dealing with now.

    I met someone that I’m in love with and they live 6 hours away. We discussed him moving to where I am and living in the same city with me, and not in the same apartment. My morals, my religion, and statistics state that living with someone before marriage will guarantee divorce, getting into cohabitation for the wrong reasons, and more. I told him that living together because its financially good for us, and we love each other, just didn’t seem like the right reason. Why start a relationship with moving in together? More people who divorce say they lived with their spouse before marriage, and those who said they wanted to test the waters before marriage ended up breaking up 2 years later because of convenience. Convenience?? What do you think about that?