Five Things Women Say That Don’t Sound As Good As They Think
I was trying to think of an introduction to today’s post, something about how this one is for my male readers, but isn’t that obvious by the title?
In any case, ladies who have said any of these things to someone else or even to me, don’t be alarmed by the quotes below. Just because a woman says them, doesn’t mean we count them as a strike. It just means they’re not as noble as you might think, ladies. Also, this is not a list of annoying things women say (that would be much longer), rather, this is a list of things women say with an air of pomposity.Women can say them as much as they like, just don’t expect men to interpret them as favorably as they were intended.
“I DON’T GET ALONG WITH GIRLS’
Think about it: If a straight man told a woman he gets along with girls much better than guys, his heterosexuality would either be questioned or it would be interpreted as too hetero (which is a fancy way of saying “male ho”). So if a woman tells me she gets along with guys much better than she gets along with girls, I’m not going to interpret that as “oh cool, she’s one of the guys.” I don’t even want one of the guys. I want a woman, a woman who prides herself on sisterhood without being a feminist. A woman should never underestimate how attractive it is for her to have a solid group of girlfriends and strong relationships with the women in her family.
“I’VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND”
The only women who don’t get some sort of side eye from me when they say this are 16-years-old and younger. Heck, even an 18-year-old girl can get away with not having a boy, but a 25-year-old woman, or a recent college graduate who says she’s never had a boyfriend? Uh oh. Is that supposed to be hot, like she’s some sort of exclusive? What’s really awkward is the woman who is 21 and over, saying she’s not a virgin, but she’s never had a boyfriend. So we’ve just been letting a whole lot of non-committal sexing going on, is that it? And don’t let the woman who says she’s never had a boyfriend be the same woman who says she gets along better with girls than guys. At that point, she’s just telling on herself, and that’s really what this list is about. It’s not about not being a woman who has never had a boyfriend, because I understand, those women do exist. This is more about not admitting such a thing.
“I DON’T LIKE TO GO TO THE CLUB”
I interpret this statement as, “I don’t like to go out, have a few drinks, and have fun.” All these folks talking about how they don’t want to be the old person in the club have a problem with going to the right clubs. If it’s one of those 18-to-dip, 21-to-sip type of parties, and you’re 25, that’s not the right club to be at, baby. Go to something sophisticated, something that scales closer to 30 if that’s the age you’re at, because guess what, I’m going to be at that spot. I like to go out, and dare I say, I like to go out with my lady more than I like to go out searching for ladies. A woman who paints herself as the picture of innocence by declaring her distaste for club lights, is a woman who is warning everyone her zone is a no fun zone.
“OH, I KNOW HIM”
What’s wrong with a woman pointing out a guy and saying, “I know him” Nothing. Unless the woman is pointing at a television screen with a game on it and the guy she’s pointing too is a world-renowned athlete. Now, I have questions. [Personal note: I have a dear friend of mine who does this, but I know her well enough to know, when she does it, it’s not what it seems. She’s knew them since before they were world class athletes and has the pics to prove it. If you’re one of those women who work in the world of professional sports, it’s okay to say this, but I still have questions]
“I’M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN”
Duh. I know she’s independent, as in by herself. Why else would I be talking to her? Ladies, few things are a bigger waste of breath than publicly declaring one’s own independence.
The Process: Time to gain back a little bit of this weight I lost.
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: As promised, the Poppin’ Questions Podcast is now going to be aired twice a week. The first episode will be up later today. The second episode will air Thursday. Between now and then, please hit me on my Formspring or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.