Quit Worrying About The Other Girls
It’s been going on for about a year now, this new party line I’ve been hearing from women. Something about how whatever I want from her I can get from another woman. These days, women don’t like to just tell me no. Instead, they fancy themselves witty and say things like, “Oh Jozen, I’m sure whatever you want to do with me you can do with one of your other girls.”
But this isn’t just my problem, I feel like a lot of men have to deal with this type of response whenever they want to spend some time with a woman with whom they’ve been spending time. “Why are you calling me and not one of your other girls,” they like to ask.
Well, here’s what I’m going to start saying whenever a woman asks me this question or implies such a thing.
Quit worrying about the other girls. Quit worrying about who I’m not calling. Start taking it as a compliment that I’m not calling someone else, and instead I’m calling you.
If there’s one thing I learned in my years being single it’s that I can’t ever get caught up in who another woman is dealing with. The minute I start doing such a thing is the minute I start to lose my focus, which is primarily being with her in some capacity.
Now I understand women may bring up the “other girls” as a ways of tricking me into saying they’re the only ones, but to fall for such a mind game would make me not only a simpleton, it would make me a liar. And for as many women out there who insist on men being honest, I have no idea why they want to bait us into lying in the first place.
What am I supposed to say to a woman who brings up other girls? I always feel like what they want to hear in response is something along the lines of, “There are no other girls.”
Well, the truth is, there are, so here’s the better question: Now that we know the truth, are we still saying no?
When doing the whole casual dating thing, I don’t think full disclosure is always necessary. I’m not into volunteering who I’m spending time with when I’m not spending time with someone else. I don’t feel obligated to talk about my personal business regarding other persons with other persons. But I do think tip-toeing around it and trying to find out whether or not we are seeing other people through subliminal questions is counter-productive. If she wants to bring up another girl, fine, we can talk about her, but two things about that…
The first is I’m definitely seeing other people and if I wanted to call them up for the same reasons I’m calling you up, I probably could. Might be a hard pill to swallow, but if she insists on bringing this up, I might as well cop to it.
The second is what’s really important and it goes like this: Even though I have at least three or four other girls I can spend time with if I wanted and if they were available to do so, I want to spend some time with the person I am calling.
As I have said before, I’m not really the type of man who does the Plan B sort of thing. When I want to go to a movie or if I want some company, I call who I want, so if she’s the one I’m calling, she’s the one I want. It’s really that simple, and if she doesn’t want to hang out with me, it’s really that simple to just say she’s not available to do so or doesn’t feel like doing so. No matter her answer, it’s still no, and I’m not about to wonder if she’s telling me no because of some other guy. Why should I worry about him? All I care about is whether or not her “no” now will change to “yes” when I ask her to hang out again.
The Process: Might have lost too much weight, going to pack some more muscle back on with some protein shakes. Anyone have suggestions on a good powder?
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: The 20th Episode is up now. Episode 21 will air on Monday, between now and then, please hit me on my Formspring or email me at email@example.com for a question to be considered.
“The Game” Season 4, Episode 3, ‘The Wing King’: TV Recap for The Wall Street Journal. To read, Click here.