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Archive for January, 2011

On The Hazards of Good S*x

January 18th, 2011 7 comments

There was a point in my life where I realized not every woman I sleep with has to be my girlfriend. This reality was nothing I came to all of a sudden. It’s something I learned over time; from witnessing a pattern developing in my life. While the number of girlfriends I had was dwindling, the number of partners I had was growing. Rapidly.

Things got to a point where I could count the number of girlfriends I had on my two hands, but to count the number of partners I had would require me to become an octopus with starfish fingers. Of course, as a man, I thought none of this was wrong and all of it was as it should be. I went to college and statistics show those who do go to college get more action than those who don’t, I also wasn’t getting any uglier or any more shy, so all of this, I thought, was a natural progression. To go against it would be like going against nature or something.

But something funny is happening with me these days, another pattern if you will. The older I get, the more I grow up.

As a consequence, I’m beginning to look at this whole casual sex thing a tad bit differently. I’m not saying it’s going to stop anytime soon (who knows when that day will come?), but what I am saying is, there’s some serious drawbacks to partaking in it.

One in particular has me seriously considering slowing things down, and it’s something I had to learn on my own because back when every older person in my life had the chance to tell me all the reasons I should only sleep with those I care about, they never gave me a real good reason why. So, allow me to play sex educator for a day and break down what I have discovered is one of the huge drawbacks to casual sex.

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Categories: guys, on something, s#x Tags:

The No That Really Means No

January 13th, 2011 17 comments

Big shout out to a friend of mine who just asked for my take on some situation she has with a guy. It’s because of her I’m inspired to this post, which I might add is going to be short like yesterdays cause I’m busy.

Ladies, are you struggling to find a way to tell some guy in your life it isn’t going to happen, not in your lifetime, not in their lifetime, and if they come out looking the same way in their next lifetime, that lifetime too? Well, here’s what you have to say to him.

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Categories: dating, guys, women Tags:

The Most Amazing Lesson I Learned About Living With Someone

January 12th, 2011 17 comments

I don’t have very much time to write today, so I’m going to make this post short.

Whenever I discuss my experience with co-habitation, I like to tell people what I learned. Not only did I get lessons about my woman and who I was as a man to my woman, I also learned lessons about being in a relationship with someone you see everyday. Every. Single. Day.

Of all the lessons learned, the lesson I tell people was the most eye-opening, the most amazing, the most valuable, was this:

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Categories: dating, guys, quick posts, women Tags:

Now I Know We Won’t Run Into Each Other Again

January 11th, 2011 21 comments

Last week, it was just a silly dream I had. The mere fact that I was dreaming about you was silly when one considers I haven’t seen you since the season’s have changed, twice.

As for the dream itself, well, it wasn’t very detailed. There wasn’t a lot to it at all.

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Categories: guys, Stories Tags:

The Five Things About A Wedding Men Care About

January 10th, 2011 24 comments

Just so we’re clear, I’m not getting married anytime soon. This is one of those posts I wrote down in my long list  of ideas, and finally decided to write after I was having a conversation with Jermaine. Both he and I were talking about weddings. Yes, weddings.

For the uninformed, men talk about weddings. They may not do so as much as women, but if a group of men hang around each other often enough, every single aspect of their life eventually comes up for discussion, things like, their future wedding. Whether it be way far off or just around the corner, a man’s wedding is something he thinks about and plans out in his head, not obsessively, but probably more than any woman could imagine. We have plans for our weddings too ladies. Here are five of the things we’re thinking about well in advance of the big day.

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Categories: Five Things Tags:

Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Girl No One Likes Edition

January 7th, 2011 20 comments

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but if not, here we go.

During my high school years, every now and then I would go after school to visit my mom at her workplace. Whenever I or my sister walked into the restaurant where she was a waitress, we were always given the royal treatment. Anything we wanted from the menu; virgin smoothies on deck from the bartender; warm hellos from the entire staff. During those visits, my sister and I would always feel like we were VIPs, and it was all because of one thing: everyone at work liked my mother.

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Categories: Girls You Shouldn't Fall For Tags:

If You Can Make A Girl Laugh, You Can Make A Girl Laugh

January 6th, 2011 13 comments

Today’s post is loosely titled after the infamous Marilyn Monroe quote, which is as follows:

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything

Yesterday, one of my female friends posted this exact quote on her Twitter, and when I read it, I had to laugh myself. The comedy wasn’t in the quote, but rather, it was from where the quote came that made me chuckle.

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Categories: dating, guys, women Tags:

The Intimacy of Close Games

January 5th, 2011 10 comments

On Monday, I wrote a post listing five things I won’t do with a woman until I get married. One of the items included attending a Pittsburgh Steelers game in Pittsburgh. As I explained, such a momentous occasion could only be shared with whom I’m going to spend the rest of my life. A girlfriend can definitely take me to a Pittsburgh away game, but a home game would be way too intimate.

Women understand how important sports are to men, because for some women, sports are just as important to them. What I think is sometimes missed is the kind of effect sports can have on a relationship. If a man and a woman can bond over something sports related, fantastic. But they must be careful. Few things will bring a couple closer together and have a more lasting effect on their relationship than a close game.

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Categories: dating, guys, women Tags:

Sometimes I Wish You Were Here To See How It All Came Together

January 4th, 2011 17 comments

So no one accuses me of writing today’s post about one person in particular, let the record show, the “you” is intended to be universal. I’m not talking to any one specific person, I’m talking about anyone who believed in me then, but aren’t around to see how what they believed in came true to some degree.

Today I’m not even really writing about a girl, I’m writing about a feeling; that which occurred to me just the other day as I was walking home. It was on that walk I realized I have never been happier about my life than I am these days. Maybe it was my trip home, or the friends I came back to, or the endorphins I stirred up from completing a solid, lengthy jog, whatever it was, I just felt fantastic and blessed. And I sort of wished just one person I used to deal with, didn’t matter who, could see it for themselves. I said to myself…

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Categories: dating, guys, women Tags:

Five Things I Won’t Be Doing Until I Get Married

January 3rd, 2011 19 comments

We all have these rules for our premarital relationships. Some of them are big picture rules like, no cohabitation or intercourse before marriage. Other rules are more nuanced like the rule I gave myself that I won’t be having s*x without a condom or if I owned a really nice car, no girlfriends are allowed to drive it.

Whatever the rules we may be, some of them are quite ridiculous. And, the longer a lot of us go without getting hitched, the more rules we add, and the more ridiculous the rules can get. For example, the list below, my sampling of five things I have decided I won’t be doing until I get married. Don’t know if I did this list before (too lazy to read back), but I’m sure I’ve never done a list with these five things.

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Categories: dating, Five Things Tags: