My title


Archive for February, 2011

How To Date A Music Junkie

February 28th, 2011 17 comments

The very first date I had with my high school sweetheart came about three weeks after I received my driver’s license. Before picking her up, I took what was an unnecessary amount of time trying to decide which album I was going to have in rotation when she got in my car. I decided on Dexter Gordon’s Ballads, which, as the title suggests, is a compilation of the tenor saxophonist’s best ballad recordings from his years on Blue Note (my favorite songs on there are “Ernie’s Tune” and “I’m A Fool To Want You”, specifically for Freddie Hubbard’s trumpet solo).

Now, I admit, a part of me made this choice because I thought it would impress her. Back in high school, I was what some would call a jazz snob, the type who turned their nose up on most popular music, except when it came time to party. But the larger part of me chose Ballads because I really did enjoy that album. It was perfect driving music, and again I stress, Freddie Hubbard’s solo on “I’m A Fool Want You” is just so good.

When my date got in the car, not even 10 minutes passed before she asked if we could listen to something else, and by something else, she specifically meant KDON, our town’s sad version of a hip-hop radio station. Of course I obliged, and the two of us went on to last a year, but I should have known then the two of us were never going to last a lifetime.

I’m not saying my high school sweetheart had to like what I was playing. I actually remember telling her how refreshing her honesty was. A lot of people front and act like they’re into something just because they think it’s the sophisticated thing to do. Not her She wanted to hear hip-hop, and I had no problem with hip-hop. What I did have a problem with is how she never gave what I played a chance.

Read more…

Categories: dating Tags:

Why I Can’t Date Vegetarians And The Importance of the Superficial

February 25th, 2011 25 comments

I was having a discussion the other day with a friend of mine. We were talking about how people have the most superficial desires for what they want in a partner. On this point, we both agreed, but where we disagreed is how necessary they were.

She insisted our superficial wants is what stifles our dating life. We we can’t be open minded towards people who don’t match up with what we know are some superficial criteria, therefore we limit ourselves. I felt the exact opposite. We often make too many compromises on the things we desire in our partner simply because we’re pressured to believe those qualities we seek are superficial. The reality is, the reason we have these superficial demands is because they ultimately do matter at some point.

In the past, I’ve written about the importance of superficial standards in regards to looks, but whenever I did, people went after me as though I cursed their mother. So, to illustrate my point about the importance of superficial standards, I have decided to make an example of vegetarians and why I can’t date them.

Read more…

Categories: dating Tags:

Putting A Ring On It Doesn’t Make Him A Man

February 24th, 2011 49 comments

So the other day I read this article in the Wall Street Journal, entitled “Where Have The Good Men Gone” (link is at the bottom for those who want to read it). The article (adapted from the book, “Manning Up: How The Rise Of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys” by Kay S. Hymowitz) basically says men such as myself — unmarried, without children, career oriented — are not entirely men. To the author’s credit, we are no longer boys either. We’re something in between, a laughable term she calls “pre-adults”.

Pre-adults. That’s the word she uses to describe those of us in our 20s who have yet to find Ms. Right and bore children with her. The term isn’t offensive, as a matter of fact, kudos to Kay for coming up with something so scientific so as to not demean my friends and I.

But what bothers me about the term is the implication that I am somehow less of a man because I have yet to get married. As the article states:

Single men have never been civilization’s most responsible actors; they continue to be more troubled and less successful than men who deliberately choose to become husbands and fathers…Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men’s attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There’s nothing they have to do.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what you get when you let a woman define manhood.

Read more…

Categories: guys Tags:

Five Reasons You Don’t Need To Follow The Person You’re Dating On Twitter

February 23rd, 2011 17 comments

It took a couple of years before publications and various other media outlets began to understand and talk about Facebook’s impact on everyday relationships. Status updates, photo tagging, profile pictures, and the like now have the potential to make just as loud of a statement as newspaper engagement announcements or being spotted by other people out at dinner once did. Sure we still have our own rules about what to do and what not to do when dating someone else, but we’ve also added more largely due to Facebook.

Twitter still has a long way to go before it starts to affect our relationships the way Facebook has, and it may never be able to.. Twitter as a form of social media is way simpler than Facebook, but just like we have done with nearly every other innovative piece of technology, we the people find a way to make it complicate our lives and attach to it emotionally.

Since I joined Twitter two years ago, I have noticed how it sneakily can have an impact on relationships. If you’re not careful, following the person you’re datingon Twitter can be detrimental. This is not to say you should not follow someone you like or whom you’re dating, but it is to say it’s not nearly as necessary as say being friends with your significant other on Facebook. Today, five reasons why you don’t need to follow the person you’re dating.

Read more…

Categories: Five Things Tags:

For The Men Who Snore And The Girls That Sleep With Them

February 22nd, 2011 30 comments

So it’s been told to me by a few people I have a snoring problem. Nothing too bad, they say, but still, I can admit I’m self-conscious about it.

The thing is, I have slept with women who have a snoring problem, and I’m going to be honest, whenever I shared a bed with them, I always felt like stuffing their mouth with a pair of folded up socks. Because this is how I feel about their snoring, I assume this is how women feel about my snoring problem. I’m grateful for their mercy, and their patience with the problem, but what if we go to bed angry at one another? That snoring I do is only going to make matters worse. Next thing I know, the two of us are looking like Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco in Goodfellas, with her sitting on top of me and a gun to my face talking about, “I’m tired. Stop. That. Snoring.”

To avoid such a disaster, I want to be proactive about solving this snoring problem. I did some research and I think I found a way to tone it down during night-night time. But here’s the thing, I’m hesitant because it’s not a sexy solution, and well, ladies, all I really want to know is if I choose to use this thing to help stop my snoring, can I still get some in the middle of the night or will you make me take this thing off before we do anything?

Here it is…

Read more…

Categories: dating, guys, little things, on something, s#x Tags:

Poppin’ Questions Podcast Episode 26

February 21st, 2011 6 comments

A holiday special! In this episode Jozen discusses hooking up with a good friend for the first time, relocating in the name of love, and why he wants to know what his readers look like in the latest installment of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast.

Take a listen, download, subscribe to iTunes via PodOmatic and click here to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin’ Questions Podcast or send an email to

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

The Five Most Unusual Reactions After We Did ‘It’

February 18th, 2011 16 comments

There’s an art to knowing how to conduct one’s self post coital, and frankly, I’m no Picasso. Usually when I’m done, if I don’t go to sleep, I clean myself up right away and find some shorts or pants to throw on. As a result, this has caused many a women some confusion. They look at me as though I’m telling them to leave, or like I’m going to leave their place. This, as one can imagine, makes things awkward.

But I must say, I know exactly how these women feel. I too have been on the receiving end of some awfully questionable and unusual reactions post-coital. These are five such moments.

Read more…

Categories: Five Things Tags:

Poppin’ Questions Podcast Episode 25

February 18th, 2011 2 comments

Jozen tackles the sensitive subject of abortion, the not-so-sensitive subject of how to get a partner to spend more time outside of the house, inter-cultural relationships and more on Poppin’ Questions Podcast 25!

Take a listen, download, subscribe to iTunes via PodOmatic and click here to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin’ Questions Podcast or send an email to

Categories: Poppin' Questions Podcast Tags:

Thank You For The Good Time

February 17th, 2011 28 comments

As you all know, a lot of my readers send me questions about damn near everything. I don’t think they send me these questions because they fancy me an expert on matters of the heart, sex, dating, or anything else. I figure they just want me to contribute my two cents to something they’ve been thinking about, then once I do, they go back to their own original take on whatever it is they asked me about.

I mean, they couldn’t possibly expect me to have a definitive answer for all of their questions, because some of them don’t really have a definitive answer. For instance, this latest question I am about to share with everyone.

I share it not because I don’t have my own thoughts, but because I think it’s topical enough where everyone can chime in down in the c-section. So here’s the question, below is my answer, and then below that, in the comments, let the person who wrote the question and myself know what you think. Remember, there is no wrong answer to this question, but there could be a funny one and we’d love to hear it.

The question goes:

Read more…

Categories: c-section, dating, s#x Tags:

Welcome To Quittin’ Season

February 16th, 2011 6 comments
Categories: dating Tags: