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Dear Future Girlfriend, RE: Gifts You Should Never Get Me

February 10th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Dear Future Girlfriend Whose Name I Don’t Know Yet,

RE: Gifts You Should Never Get Me

So look here babe, before I get into this one particular thing you should never ever buy me, a quick preface.

Your clothes.

I can never ever wear one thing you own, even if it’s in a man’s version. I won’t be wearing your scrubs (if you’re a doctor), I won’t be wearing some athletic t-shirt you own. Not even if the Pittsburgh Steelers logo is emblazoned on the front and it used to belong to your brother and he’s the same size shirt as me. Perhaps the only thing of yours I will allow myself to put on is a pair of your slippers and that’s only if I have to make a quick run to the garbage chute. Even then, I’d much prefer to put on my shoes, but chances are if I’m squeezing my feet in your slippers for a 10-second jog, it’s only because I’m lazy.

I want you to remember this on Valentine’s Day. I say Valentine’s Day because it’s around the corner, but really this is for any day in which you are required to buy me a gift. Babe, the picture below is a picture of a gift I never ever want you to give me. Not ever. Understand? Good.

Your Man,

Jozen

LEVI’S EX-GIRLFRIEND JEANS

Woman, don't ever buy me these. Ever.

Picture and information courtesy of Antenna

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Categories: Dear Future Girlfriend Tags:
  • Tea

    Those jeans are beyond hilarious.

  • Growingupto30

    These can’t be for real. Ever.

  • Ondrea_3

    Picking myself up off of the floor!!!!!! iCant! LMBO

  • Mocha_1

    LOL, are those the male version of “jeggings”?

  • Ne

    SCREAMING LAUGHING LOL!

  • JMM

    OMG Jozen I just fell out!!! I don’t usually post in your comments but that want f-ing hilarious! Well played my dude, well played.

  • Ms.Riss

    OMG!!!! Lawd, no woman OR man should ever buy these! Ever!

  • Naomi

    Hahahahaha!

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  • MeliMel

    Lmaoooo…sad part! I see these all the time with mini white tees. Why!? Why!? Leave the skinny pants to the woman. Geez!

  • B.

    That is just wrong on so many levels. Hell that is a gift to give if you want to break up.

  • Kae-Toya

    Everything everyone about said……………..lol men in skinny jeans dont work

  • menotu

    tabernacle!

  • Adrizamo

    Wow, can’t get any tighter than that!

  • KenneliaS

    She got you wearin’ Jeggings out here….LMBO literally.

  • Kayla

    You know you own a pair already!!

  • Rena

    Bwa ha ha too funny.

  • Nadira Rae

    HOT. A$$. MESS…..I can’t…I can’t….I can’t…

  • Bob

    Even Headline News Robin Meade said that’s just wrong. lol

  • iwannabeavamp

    LOL! this is hilarious! good point, Jozen:)

  • Linzie taylor

    from the comments i can imagine most of u guys r americans…in Egland we see this type of dreesing alot, when i say alot i really mean ALOT!!!! that being said i always wonder how their bits fit in them jeans..u gotta love britons especially the white ones lol

  • Jc1983

    Haha!!!@ the picture I am cosigning on that one…I am American but I am in the caribbean right now for school….nothing irritates me more then to see some young Jamaican guy in skinny jeans Eww!!

  • kjnetic aka Peter Parker

    dang…”tighter than the pants on Will-I-Am”…

    getting that might be a dismissable offense

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