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Something Every Woman Should Say

February 11th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

The women who have been in my life have always been good to me, probably to an extent, more good than I have been to them, but that’s neither here nor there. They have been good to me, kind to me, respected me, loved me, and supported me, so when I look back at my time spent with them, it’s tough for me to decipher the highlights. When you’ve dated women as great as I have dated, history can look something like a fantasy where everything you could have ever wanted was had.

But there is one conversation from one ex-girlfriend of mine that stands out to me.

Well, to be honest, I don’t remember the whole conversation, just a moment within the conversation. I think about it often and though it was brief, I think the reason I’ll never forget it is because I don’t think there was ever a time where it was said to me before she said it and I most certainly can’t recall there being a time where it has been said since. She only said it to me once, and it was funny because when she said it, she immediately followed it up by saying, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that before.” Then she repeated it again. This was two years ago, and I still remember the words, the sound, the time of day it was, and where I was sitting when I heard them, which may not mean much to anyone reading, but is a testament to how rare the words are said.

“I’m proud of you.”

Those were the words and they came out of nowhere. I heard them loud and clear but I caught myself hesitating to say “Thanks”. Matter of fact, that wasn’t even what I said in response. The word I said was, “Huh?” Then she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that, I’m proud of you.”

She was right, she never told me that before. We were together for a long time and not once in our relationship did I hear those words from her, and oddly enough, not once did I hope to hear them from her.

When we’re in relationships we tell our person we love them, and a lot of other nice things, but as a man, I can honestly say, the words “I’m proud of you” resonate with me a lot louder. That may not be the case for all men, but there is a direct connection between my pride and my heart. Could it be because I’m prideful and could that be because I’m a man? Perhaps. I remember those words clearly and I honestly hope the next woman who comes into my life can come up with a reason to say them to me. Hell, I’ll even go as far as to say I’d like to hear her tell me she’s proud of me more than I want to hear her tell me she loves me.

I hope any woman who is reading this blog and has a man in their life tells him how proud she is of him. Not when he accomplishes something major like a new job or figured out how to fix something on his own without calling a repair man. Sure, “I’m proud of you” is a great thing to hear when we accomplish those things, but what stays with us more is the times when it’s told to us when we least expected it. Don’t wait for a reason to tell him you’re proud of him, think of one on your own and then say it accordingly. He might ask you what for, but if he doesn’t know, it was probably exactly what he needed to hear.

Men wake up everyday trying to be men or maintain their manhood, connected to that is keeping their pride intact, so when we hear our woman tell us she’s proud to of us for nor eason whatsoever, it’s encouraging. Let’s us know we’re doing the right thing and someone is paying attention.

For some women I know this may seem so basic. Maybe those women tell their man everyday that their proud of them, and to that I say, I’m proud of you, lady. But I’m pretty sure from things I have heard women tell men the words “I’m proud of you” aren’t being spoken enough. It’s not an emergency, no one needs to start screaming it from the mountain tops or make a big production out of it, just say it and say it soon. Not only he will appreciate it, he will probably never forget the time his woman said at the most random moment, “I’m proud of you.”

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  • http://twitter.com/BenfordHumble C Benford 2

    i in addition to the above phrase i love when a woman tells me ‘i support you’ (not in i will take care of you type of way but in the i believe in you type of way) or ‘i support that’

  • verda

    IT JUST GOES BOTH WAYS! You men have the hard time to say to the women that you are proud of them! I had so many occasions where I knew more, was the more practical one, found a solution to a problem, but the men either ignored it or put my ability down. Because, I think, they were not used to that a woman can do things better than a man, some times. SO, men out there acknowledge your women in a loving way when they do do something better than. Not acknowledging your woman is a let down and will always disappoint us. And with enough disappointments, she will slowly drift away…..You guys have to be big enough to see women as equals… HELLOOOO are we in 2011???? Or what?

  • http://twitter.com/caribbeanBleu Jinx Moneypenny

    Great post. I can’t remember if I ever told him but thanks for the reminder.

  • Girl 6

    I told my Man those words the other day. He gave me a look ive never seen before, just one of pure appreciation to hear those words. I haven’t spoken the words I love you, he knows that based on actions. However I realise to hear me say i was proud of him, was more than hearing an i love you!!

  • http://twitter.com/caribbeanBleu Jinx Moneypenny

    I’m sorry… what? You just turned this into something completely different, lawd.

  • FlyBrownie89

    I have never really had a boyfriend but I tell my Dad I am proud of him because its true! I know that it gives him encouragment, hope, it makes him feel loved, and it gives him more motivation. In the same token saying these words to your Man has the same effect. I def plan to say this to my Man whenever i get one lol

  • FlyBrownie89

    Honestly I never thought about saying i support you to a man but it does make sense because as the leader or head I would imagine you want to know that your girl cosigns on the decisions you as a man make and that she has your back. Def some words I will keep in mind :)

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  • Jess!

    Out of all the times I’ve been told “I love you” or out of all the nicest things my ex has said or done for me, the day he told me he was proud of me meant the ABSOLUTE most. I remember everything in that moment and him saying that made me feel something I never had.

    We broke up but recently we had a conversation and I let him know that hearing that he was proud of me was the best thing he has ever said to me.

  • http://twitter.com/msorvam myrna orvam

    My father telling me he was proud of me was par for the course when I was growing up. I’ve only had one guy I dated tell me he was proud of me. That mainly pertained to my son and how I’ve raised him. My son on the other hand, I’ve told him “I’m proud of you” many times. Looking back though I see it was mainly in regards to big accomplishments (graduations, etc). Thanks for reminding me to tell him “I’m proud of you” just because

  • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com/ Reecie

    great post. I think women (I know I do) like to hear that our man is proud of us as well.

  • Tanya420

    I loved this post and could not agree more! I make it a note to tell my man how proud I am of him. :-)

  • http://naturallyalise.com/blog naturallyalise

    I think hearing that is a universal fulfilling thing to hear. I have had few mates say that to me, but when it was said it really mattered much more than I love you’s easily said while running out of the door to work. It just felt more substantive.

  • Ms.Riss

    I find it surprising that you don’t hear that more often. I don’t know you, but anyone that can use thier words and thier skills to create such a huge, consistent audience of people that want to read what you have to say, is worth being proud of.

    I told my ex I was proud of him often. Esp, when he was going through hard employment times, but he always managed to keep the faith and continue to work towards his dream. He wasn’t where he wanted to be, and was hardly making any money, but I was proud that he kept moving towards his career goals.

    I actually wouldn’t mind hearing that more often….

  • http://twitter.com/TeamAfro AfroDaddy.com

    Great Post! Sometimes the simplest things are the most important in a relationship. So much of a man’s self-worth is tied up in doing a good job and being a good provider. For men, the acknowledgment of being proud of your effort often times means much more than the standard “I love you”.

  • http://twitter.com/charismanclass Charisma N Class

    Wow. You know, I never thought about it before, but “I’m proud of you” are four powerful words. I once said them to the special one in my life and he was speechless. Like Jozen, his initial response was “Huh?” And I remember repeating it. It took him a few moments before his second response, “Thanks.” I shrugged it off, not even realizing how those words made him feel.

    Thanks for the insight. Appreciate the post.