For The Men Who Snore And The Girls That Sleep With Them
So it’s been told to me by a few people I have a snoring problem. Nothing too bad, they say, but still, I can admit I’m self-conscious about it.
The thing is, I have slept with women who have a snoring problem, and I’m going to be honest, whenever I shared a bed with them, I always felt like stuffing their mouth with a pair of folded up socks. Because this is how I feel about their snoring, I assume this is how women feel about my snoring problem. I’m grateful for their mercy, and their patience with the problem, but what if we go to bed angry at one another? That snoring I do is only going to make matters worse. Next thing I know, the two of us are looking like Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco in Goodfellas, with her sitting on top of me and a gun to my face talking about, “I’m tired. Stop. That. Snoring.”
To avoid such a disaster, I want to be proactive about solving this snoring problem. I did some research and I think I found a way to tone it down during night-night time. But here’s the thing, I’m hesitant because it’s not a sexy solution, and well, ladies, all I really want to know is if I choose to use this thing to help stop my snoring, can I still get some in the middle of the night or will you make me take this thing off before we do anything?
Here it is…
Supposedly if I wear these, it will help my snoring problem. Seems like a cheap alternative, but like I said, I don’t know if this is something like wearing headgear to bed. I’m not the type of guy who would make my woman take off her headgear before we got it in, but then again, I’m open-minded like that. I used to date a girl who wore a retainer at night, and whenever she was mad at me she’d put the retainer in before she went to bed, as though that was going to make me not want to do something.
She was wrong.
Ditto for the girls who went to bed with a face mask. When I want some, especially in the middle of the night, I’m willing to look past these maintenance items if she’s willing to go a round.
The question for the ladies is, are you open minded enough to give me some even though I have a band-aid looking thing across the bridge of my nose? After all, the only reason I’m wearing this is so you can sleep a little more soundly at night. Shouldn’t I get something in return for my efforts?
The Process: Exercise routine has been taken to a new level, it’s going to take a lot longer, and I’m definitely going to feel it after it’s over all this week.
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: Episode 26 is up now (from there you can also see the new Until I Get Married Podomatic page). Episode 27 is now in the works, and will be up on Friday. Hit me on my Formspring or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a question to be considered.
For Those Who Want To Correct Me: If there’s one type of comment that annoys me the most, it’s the comment where someone wants to point out a typo. I understand they mean well, but it’s much easier to email me. The comment section is where we dwell to discuss the post of the day, not a platform to show off your copy editing skills. That being said, I have created an email for people to send me any typos they see in a post. If you see something, say something here: email@example.com.
The Until I Get Married Twitter Conversation: We’re doing it again tomorrow night at 10 p.m. EST. I’ll be on Twitter for a half hour discussing some topic. Last week it was about condiments in the bedroom, this week, who knows? To read the tweets from last week’s discussion search #UIGM on Twitter.