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Five Reasons You Don’t Need To Follow The Person You’re Dating On Twitter

February 23rd, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

It took a couple of years before publications and various other media outlets began to understand and talk about Facebook’s impact on everyday relationships. Status updates, photo tagging, profile pictures, and the like now have the potential to make just as loud of a statement as newspaper engagement announcements or being spotted by other people out at dinner once did. Sure we still have our own rules about what to do and what not to do when dating someone else, but we’ve also added more largely due to Facebook.

Twitter still has a long way to go before it starts to affect our relationships the way Facebook has, and it may never be able to.. Twitter as a form of social media is way simpler than Facebook, but just like we have done with nearly every other innovative piece of technology, we the people find a way to make it complicate our lives and attach to it emotionally.

Since I joined Twitter two years ago, I have noticed how it sneakily can have an impact on relationships. If you’re not careful, following the person you’re datingon Twitter can be detrimental. This is not to say you should not follow someone you like or whom you’re dating, but it is to say it’s not nearly as necessary as say being friends with your significant other on Facebook. Today, five reasons why you don’t need to follow the person you’re dating.


Unless you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, you know the thing about Twitter is every update can only carry 140 characters. This essentially means each tweet is two sentences at most. That’s it. Then you tweet something else. If you’re following someone, you’re basically allowing them to talk to you all freaking day or as often as you check Twitter. The next thing you know, you two are at dinner, and one of you gets all excited to tell the other person something, and before they even say what they feel about what you just said they say, “Oh yeah, I saw you Tweet about that today.” Now whatever you said is already old and not as new as you thought it was in your head. Or, it can happen like this…


Earlier in the day, you tweeted about why a co-worker sucked, how your boss is a hater, and you took a Twitpic of some nasty mess someone left in the staff kitchen along with a tweet that said, “WHO LIVES LIKE THIS?! UGH!?” By the time you come home, you’re fine. The day at the office is behind you. You just want to eat some dinner, and do anything else but talk about the day at work you Tweeted about. But since you did Tweet about it and the person you’re dating follows you, they want to know more details about those workday Tweets you were sending out. When you say you don’t want to talk about it, they might leave it alone, but they also might shoot back, “Oh, you can tell all of your followers about your day at work but you can’t tell me? Okay. Okay. I see how it is.”


For those who don’t know, RT stands for Re-Tweeting, the act of tweeting what someone else tweeted. Think of it as being quoted in real life by someone else, like an acknowledgment that someone else said it better than you could or so good you had to share it with all of your followers. Keep on doing this over and over with someone you follow and watch the person you’re dating start getting suspicious. Next thing you know, she’s demanding to see your latest DMs (Direct Messages).


A lot of people tweet the very thing first that comes to mind, it’s one of Twitters great attributes. You can either vent to the masses and find people feel the same way you do about something very random, or if no one has anything to say about what you just Tweeted at all, oh well. You feel better after you typed it anyway. This is what makes Twitter pretty cool, but also what makes me sign off every now and then too. The same might happen with you if you start following the person you like. For instance, they might Tweet, “I can’t STAND cats. I just want to kick them.” You didn’t know this about the person you’re dating, and now you’re all shocked because you just read a tweet that has you concerned you might be dating the Michael Vick of cats. But instead of breaking up with them, you unfollow them, which goes into the fourth reason you don’t need to follow the person you like on Twitter.


The act of unfriending or defriending someone on Facebook is often times mutually agreed upon and when it’s done, the reasons are generally understood. To do such a thing is to say, “I don’t want to see all those new pictures of you having fun with other people and constantly be reminded of you through your profile updates.” To unfollow someone on Twitter is to basically say, “I don’t want to read what you have to say and I care nothing about what you think of anything in this world, not even cats.” Ouch.

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The Process: Yep, definitely sore from the new and improved exercise routine. Definitely sore.

Poppin’ Questions Podcast: Episode 26 is up now (from there you can also see the new Until I Get Married Podomatic page). Episode 27 is now in the works, and will be up on Friday. Hit me on my Formspring or email me at for a question to be considered.

The Until I Get Married Twitter Conversation: We’re doing it again tonight at 10 p.m. EST. I’ll be on Twitter for a half hour discussing some topic. Last week it was about condiments in the bedroom, this week, who knows? To read the tweets from last week’s discussion search #UIGM on Twitter.

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  • SED

    hahaha! I don’t of twitter but that was very funny!

  • SED

    I meant *have…

  • Mia

    Twitter is just as bad as Facebook. I find myself tweeting when I’m out with friends, in class, while I’m driving, at work……#shame. <<See a hashtag made it into my comment. SMH!
    It's addicting
    It's another way to be nosey.

    "To unfollow someone on Twitter is to basically say, “I don’t want to read what you have to say and I care nothing about what you think of anything in this world, not even cats.” Ouch." This made laugh!! I've followed people because they were oppressing my TL with nonsense! They had to go!

  • Maiah

    This is amazing. I might also go so far as to say I shouldn’t be friends with my boo on Facebook either. The craziness social media promotes sometimes is OOC.

  • DJ Diva

    I totally agree! I just started dating someone new and although we connect on Twitter following for us!

  • Anonymous

    It’s my golden rule…I do not friend or follow any of the men who are pursuing me…if we were friends beforehand then I politely let you know that I’m going to unfriend you…I want to be able to speak freely and live my life w/o worrying about someone’s feelings via the internet. Also in the beginning I may be seeing several people and going out on quite a few dates and I don’t want that to be an issue offline either. I don’t have a twitter though…never understood the point, but that’s just me.

  • guest

    in honesty, if you really don’t care about that person, what goes behind dating should stay in dating only and not via social networking

  • pintsizedinFluence

    “…you might be dating the Michael Vick of cats” – Bwahahaha

  • KitKatCuty84

    Jozen just flat out doesn’t want chicks in his business at all. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not in pictures. Whoever he ends up with better like his secrecy.

  • myrna orvam

    100% cosign on everything that you said. Facebook and dating will make you crazy. Too much room for interpretation, not getting a reply on an IM…ugh..too much.

  • Rebekahchristie

    Lmao wow I love this

  • Honeysucklebrown

    Reading someone’s Tweets can often be the equivalent of spotting the person that you’re dating in the midst of one of life’s more regular moments (i.e. taking a shit)… Chances are, the way that you view them will change and their stock inevitably goes down. Unless the tweeter is particularly clever, over a period of time I undoubtedly begin to question their intelligence/wit/common sense/ability to spell/overuse of “LOL”. Sometimes it’s best to be willfully blind.

  • Funmi

    this is so right…..i have made the mistake in the past and twitter always caused a problem in our relationship, especially sometimes when i call him and he says he’s busy, yet he’s all up on twitter, updating his status a million times per second….
    Also that RTn a particular person always, been there…..great article

  • JimmyJam

    All of this social networking is positive in some ways but overall it’s making peoples communication skills almost non-existent

  • Me

    next you should write about why you should be FB friends with the person you are dating to insure they aren’t hiding the fact they are in a relationship

  • Guest

    It is still very possible to hide your relationship even if you guys are friends, especially if their relationship status says nothing rather than “in a relationship”.

  • Ms. Incognito

    My significant other and I follow each other on Facebook and Twitter. We do not have any problems because we communicate. I do not give a damn who he is talking to on any social network site and he does not question who I speak to regularly on either site. I look at it this way…if he is going to be an assclown, he does not need Twitter or Facebook to assist in that…and neither do I. People flirt with me all day, women flirt with him too. We talk about these people and laugh it off because our relationship is not contingent on who flirts with us…or who it might SEEM we are flirting with. I know that is not the norm for everyone but I have SO much other MORE important things to worry about than who he is talking to on social networks. If it EVER becomes a problem that causes a rift in our relationship, the problem is not Twitter or Facebook, it would be us. If he unfollows me, I would not care. I live with him LOL