Why I Can’t Date Vegetarians And The Importance of the Superficial
I was having a discussion the other day with a friend of mine. We were talking about how people have the most superficial desires for what they want in a partner. On this point, we both agreed, but where we disagreed is how necessary they were.
She insisted our superficial wants is what stifles our dating life. We we can’t be open minded towards people who don’t match up with what we know are some superficial criteria, therefore we limit ourselves. I felt the exact opposite. We often make too many compromises on the things we desire in our partner simply because we’re pressured to believe those qualities we seek are superficial. The reality is, the reason we have these superficial demands is because they ultimately do matter at some point.
In the past, I’ve written about the importance of superficial standards in regards to looks, but whenever I did, people went after me as though I cursed their mother. So, to illustrate my point about the importance of superficial standards, I have decided to make an example of vegetarians and why I can’t date them.
At one point, I had a thing for vegetarians. I used to date one. She was fine and clean, and I attribute a lot of that to her diet. I’ve also written about vegetarians in the past, why I dated them, and why I thought it was hot when a vegetarian compromised her morals all in the name of making me a nice, juicy steak. Total turn-on.
But these days, I’m beginning to reconsider my leniency towards vegetarians and the like. Not saying they’re completely off the table, but if she doesn’t eat meat or other things that come from animals, our long-term compatibility concerns me.
Here’s the thing: I’m not a picky eater. I’m picky in terms of quality, but I’m actually the type of eater who wants to try things I’ve never had before whenever I go to a restaurant. A woman I dated brought this to my attention a while back. She said, “I really appreciate how you like to try new things.” (Just so we’re clear, this was in regards to food, not skydiving. I’d never go skydiving.) She understood me. I’m the kind of guy who orders beef tongue tacos. Those things are delicious.
Luckily for me, she wasn’t a picky eater for herself and had the same palette for the new that I possessed. And really, that’s what this whole “I can’t date vegetarians” thing is about. It’s not so much about me disagreeing with their dietary choices. I like vegetables, even if they’re not sauteed in duck fat or come with bacon bits. What this is about is I can’t date picky eaters unless they have food allergies (admittedly, even then I just went to tell them to eat the damn food and throw them a Benadryl).
Food is one of my favorite things about being a human being. I love being on top of the food chain and I want someone who enjoys that position with me. Ask my mom, my very first words were “I eat”. I go to parts of New York I have no business going all for the sake of some good tacos, or soup, or cookies. Of course, I do all of this within the restrictions of my diet, which require me to stay off carbs six days week and allows me one splurge day. On that splurge day, that’s when I’m doing some adventurous eating. Last week’s splurge day, for breakfast, I had Popeye’s with my eggs and home fries.
To me, the ideal relationship is one where her and I can go out partying, enjoying ourselves, and then go to some 24-hour spot to get a bite to eat afterward. I can only imagine the headache I would get trying to find a 24-hour spot that served vegetarian dishes at 4 a.m. Why can’t we just go get some Popeye’s instead? Or wait, maybe she can order the mashed potatoes or red beans and rice, but come on. One should never go to Popeye’s and not order the chicken. We don’t go to Disneyland and not see Mickey Mouse.
I write all of this to say, the superficial things we want in other people will ultimately not be so superficial in the end. What’s so wrong with the woman who likes a guy with muscles? Sure it seems like such a superficial thing, but when she needs to move some furniture in her living quarters, guess what? She has a guy with muscles. I get it ladies. It’s cool with me.
What’s not cool with me is compromising our superficial standards simply because other people say they’re superficial. We know what we like, and we know what we’re willing to do without. I can deal with the woman who can’t throw down in the kitchen, because I can cook myself. What I can’t deal with is the woman who demands I make a separate vegetarian meal just for her. We should be able to enjoy these steaks I made together.
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The Process: This is Sore Week.
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: Episode 26 is up now (from there you can also see the new Until I Get Married Podomatic page). Episode 27 is won’t be this week as I’m feeling under the weather, but hit me on my Formspring or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a question to be considered.