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Five Reasons I Want Her To Start Dating Women Too

Whenever a woman says she’s going to start dating women, I’m smart enough to know nine times out of 10 she’s being facetious. I never really take her comment seriously, as though all of a sudden she woke up and started feigning for the same things I feign for.

What she’s really trying to say in so many words is she’s ready to give up on men. She’s tired of me and men like me; tired of dealing with the same BS from my fellow brethren and I. We’re a handful, or a mouthful, or an earful, or awful. No matter the way she slices it, we’re full of it and she’s not taking it anymore. So she says out loud, I’m done with men, time for me to start dating women.

I get it, sort of. I say sort of because I understand how dealing with the opposite sex can be frustrating but, no matter how many times I’ve been frustrated with women, no matter how many times a woman has done something to make me despise her and her kind, I have never once threatened to swear them off for good and start dating other men. That would never happen. First of all, there’s the obvious: I don’t find other men attractive. Second of all I’m too much of a man to know men aren’t any easier to deal with than women.

But women, for whatever reason, seem to think the opposite. I find it pure comedy how women are so much more incapable of being friendly towards other women and yet never understand why a man can’t get along with his woman, which is why I challenge all women who threaten to start dating other women to back those words up Please do it. I’m totally fine with some girls coming over to my side of the world and here are five reasons why.

LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD

I’m not one of those guys who goes to some club and gets all bent out of shape when the ratio is not in my favor. Far as I’m concerned, I only need to meet one girl for the night and I’m fine. Who am I to be greedy? I’m charitable. Dare I say, there are too many women for me to handle.

Being a man who likes women is an embarrassment of riches. So ladies who are thinking about dating other ladies, come on over and help lighten up the load for us guys. If not for men, for the women out there who get frustrated with men like me but still can’t shake us. I’m not saying date those girls, I’m saying date the other girls who are distracting me from the ones who want to date me. I don’t want all the women, I just think I do. Therefore, a woman joining my side would be like a buffer, forcing me to be more competitive and selective. I always tell women who complain about the disproportionate number of women to men to just start dating women and the odds will be more in their favor. If she’s not part of the solution, she’s part of the problem.

UNDERSTAND BETTER WHY WOMEN GET ON A MAN’S NERVES

My boy once said something I have always remembered: Men and women may never understand  everything about each other, but women understand a whole lot less about men than men know do about women. I agree. Whenever I talk to my female friends, and they tell me something a guy did to piss them off, I usually understand why because I’m a man too. Sure I know why the man did what he did, just because it’s in our nature, but nature doesn’t always lead us to do the right thing. However, when I tell a female friend of mine about my woman problems, she’s usually trying to make me see it from a woman’s perspective, try and make me better understand her nature.

Yo, f*ck her nature (sometimes). Biologically assisted or not, her nature can be dead wrong.  If more women joined my side and dealt with a woman’s nature other than their own maybe they’d see how sometimes women take it too far all because they think it’s okay. As the comedian Bill Burr once said,  “Do you know how much of a d*ck I would be if it was socially unacceptable to kick the sh*t out of me?” Yeah, ladies, come to my side and see what he’s talking about.

LEARN HOW DUMB IT IS TO DANCE IN A CIRCLE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO CAME TO THE CLUB WITH YOU

Now that she’s on my side, her and a couple of her friends who are also on my side can go to a party together. Since she’s seeing women the way I see women, I’m sure she’s going to want to get on a couple of them, but no, I won’t let her. I want her to dance with me, the person she’s not taking home, the same person she came here with. Don’t go breaking up a circle of other beautiful women dancing together, now that she likes women like I like women, she’s not allowed to do that. Instead, let’s just us dance together in a big circle, a big circle of people who won’t sleep with each other, know each other already, and could have done this at home together. Fun times!

HOW MUCH LOOKS DO MATTER

If it’s one thing I know, a lot of women brag about how much they’re willing to settle for less in the looks department. They love to give the overweight man a chance or date outside of their type and want the props to come with it. The only reason they do this is because they believe it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts and he who is okay-looking today can become beautiful tomorrow. Whenever a a man expresses how much he likes a girl but the problem is physically she’s not quite what he’s looking for, it’s his female friends who say, “Give her a chance, her looks can grow on you.” How about instead, since she’s into women, she let that girl grow on her. If what she said is true, it can be applied to anyone, right? Right.

HOW IT FEELS INCREDIBLE AND SOMETIMES BAD

We’re all adults here, right? I don’t need to explain exactly what IT is, do I? We all know do know why I’m capitalizing IT, right? Good. Now that we know what IT is, let me explain. IT is is like a a fig newton, you can never have just one. If she choose to have just one, she’s kind of playing herself There is a wonderful world of IT, and IT is at a surplus. Even if she joins my side, that surplus will still be there, so she will understand how it’s hard to leave the table when us guys are playing with house money. I mean she has IT, but she has no idea how other ITS feel. She needs to see for herself, then report back to me. I’m willing to bet money she’s going to give me a high five and say, “Okay, I understand now.” Equally important is her research will reveal mediocre IT, something a lot of women still have trouble comprehending and truth be told, I have trouble explaining. IT is one of those things that when a woman asks me how IT can be bad, I simply throw up my arms and say to her, Try IT yourself.

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The Process: And STILL not running, but did 10 minutes of jump rope = one mile of running. And just so we’re clear, the running is something I wanted to add to my workout. I’m still exercising, I just haven’t added the extra credit.

Poppin’ Questions Podcast: Click here to listen to Episode 27. I’m recording tonight so hit me on my Formspring or email me at feedback@untiligetmarried.com for a question to be considered for Episode 28.

The #UIGM Twitter Conversation: Last night’s #UIGM Twitter conversation was definitely a thought-provoking one. Click here to read the recap.

See a mistake? Hit me here, typos@untiligetmarried.com

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  • Candy

    As a woman who has dated women I feel you on some of these things like knowing why women get on mens nerves and the importance of looks…that being said you are probably going to catch HELL for this article.

  • http://twitter.com/DaWriter DaWriter

    Good article. I don’t think you’re going to catch any hell for this one because if women are honest with themselves….wait, who am I kidding? Women are never honest with themselves…especially when it comes to men being right. You’re right in a lot of what you said.

  • Guest

    High five Jozen!!!! That was definitely a wake up article. Funny that you would write this article after yesterday’s article about the movie ‘The Adjustment Bureau. After having watched the trailer, the way i see it, fate should not even be considered in seeing what one’s life is suppose to be. As i truly believe, life is what you make of it, not what others make of your life. I bring this up to help me understand more about what you had to say in this article. My goodness, it’s like you know the secrets of a woman. I gotta say, you write very good articles that helps one understand themselves better. Thank you.

  • http://www.max-logic.com/ maxfab

    I have to laugh at women who get frustrated with men and say they’re going to start dating women instead. Yeah because that’ll make your life more peaceful, right?
    I have been known to say though that I will stop dealing with men in favour of sleeping with women; but there would be no dating and conversation would be kept to a minimum so as to preserve my sanity because women are effing nuts.

  • Tea

    haha! Great post. I wasn’t offended.

  • Kady

    Very Very Funny, I was laughing, shaking my head and agreeing all at the same time. I wasn’t offended either and I am sooo guilty of dancing in that circle, its fun!!! (fyi, this probaby originated in Junior High School when all the boys were too cool to get off the wall)

  • Anonymous

    My lesbian friend would co-sign with you that women are way more difficult to deal with than men. Point is she said when she did date men she would have never put up with the same behavior from them as she does with women. As matter of fact she is good at explaining how the women I complain about get to the viewpoints that they have arrived at. Not that she can advise me how to react.

    There are actually women who felt so hurt by men that they did start dating women, I have yet to hear the same said of a gay man. My hypothesis is that most men in general if given the chance would have as many women as possible where as most women are seeking to be with one man if possible. That my be the answer to your query.

    But to address your original thesis, as a man every time I have ended

  • Guest

    Your comment is the answer to what you understand about his query. Since everyone has their own viewponts about this issue, i believe there is no right or wrong answer. The only thing that differentiate between a man and a woman are the internal organs. Other than that, what a man/woman sees in a potential mate is someone they can enjoy spending time with day and night without feeling any pressure from each other. I’ll accept the fact that you probably disagree with me as I know that everyone has their personal requirements in a potential mate. Nevertheless, i enjoyed reading your comment to this article.

  • Cheekie

    For the record, most of the time, the reason why chicks are dancing in a circle together? Because all the dudes they want to dance with are leaning against the wall “too cool” to dance. 😉

  • Mandi

    If I was to date a woman she would have to be super hot. I let looks slide much more with a man (I am attracted to the comical types).

    However, I think I like man parts too much to go that route. Also I don’t think an entire sex should be blamed for the mess ups of a few, that simply calls for a re-evaluation of your selection process/criteria.

    Oftentimes people that repeatedly get messed about in relationships do so because they select the same types of people and follow the same patterns that went wrong in the first place.

  • http://blackgirlblue.com Katsumi

    I guess I’m the 1 woman out of the 10 others whose threat (or carrot) should be taken literally and seriously. I never mean it as a declaration of the decision to permanently yoke with women-just that I may resort to finding solace in the arms of the fairer sex during my hiatus from men (which I would chose to go on after becoming fed up with the fuckery of men). As Dr. Phil says, everyone needs a soft place to fall. Perhaps I’ll find comfort in the softest place on earth.

  • Avamcarter

    Fig newtons are gross.