Five Reasons I Want Her To Start Dating Women Too
Whenever a woman says she’s going to start dating women, I’m smart enough to know nine times out of 10 she’s being facetious. I never really take her comment seriously, as though all of a sudden she woke up and started feigning for the same things I feign for.
What she’s really trying to say in so many words is she’s ready to give up on men. She’s tired of me and men like me; tired of dealing with the same BS from my fellow brethren and I. We’re a handful, or a mouthful, or an earful, or awful. No matter the way she slices it, we’re full of it and she’s not taking it anymore. So she says out loud, I’m done with men, time for me to start dating women.
I get it, sort of. I say sort of because I understand how dealing with the opposite sex can be frustrating but, no matter how many times I’ve been frustrated with women, no matter how many times a woman has done something to make me despise her and her kind, I have never once threatened to swear them off for good and start dating other men. That would never happen. First of all, there’s the obvious: I don’t find other men attractive. Second of all I’m too much of a man to know men aren’t any easier to deal with than women.
But women, for whatever reason, seem to think the opposite. I find it pure comedy how women are so much more incapable of being friendly towards other women and yet never understand why a man can’t get along with his woman, which is why I challenge all women who threaten to start dating other women to back those words up Please do it. I’m totally fine with some girls coming over to my side of the world and here are five reasons why.
LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD
I’m not one of those guys who goes to some club and gets all bent out of shape when the ratio is not in my favor. Far as I’m concerned, I only need to meet one girl for the night and I’m fine. Who am I to be greedy? I’m charitable. Dare I say, there are too many women for me to handle.
Being a man who likes women is an embarrassment of riches. So ladies who are thinking about dating other ladies, come on over and help lighten up the load for us guys. If not for men, for the women out there who get frustrated with men like me but still can’t shake us. I’m not saying date those girls, I’m saying date the other girls who are distracting me from the ones who want to date me. I don’t want all the women, I just think I do. Therefore, a woman joining my side would be like a buffer, forcing me to be more competitive and selective. I always tell women who complain about the disproportionate number of women to men to just start dating women and the odds will be more in their favor. If she’s not part of the solution, she’s part of the problem.
UNDERSTAND BETTER WHY WOMEN GET ON A MAN’S NERVES
My boy once said something I have always remembered: Men and women may never understand everything about each other, but women understand a whole lot less about men than men know do about women. I agree. Whenever I talk to my female friends, and they tell me something a guy did to piss them off, I usually understand why because I’m a man too. Sure I know why the man did what he did, just because it’s in our nature, but nature doesn’t always lead us to do the right thing. However, when I tell a female friend of mine about my woman problems, she’s usually trying to make me see it from a woman’s perspective, try and make me better understand her nature.
Yo, f*ck her nature (sometimes). Biologically assisted or not, her nature can be dead wrong. If more women joined my side and dealt with a woman’s nature other than their own maybe they’d see how sometimes women take it too far all because they think it’s okay. As the comedian Bill Burr once said, “Do you know how much of a d*ck I would be if it was socially unacceptable to kick the sh*t out of me?” Yeah, ladies, come to my side and see what he’s talking about.
LEARN HOW DUMB IT IS TO DANCE IN A CIRCLE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO CAME TO THE CLUB WITH YOU
Now that she’s on my side, her and a couple of her friends who are also on my side can go to a party together. Since she’s seeing women the way I see women, I’m sure she’s going to want to get on a couple of them, but no, I won’t let her. I want her to dance with me, the person she’s not taking home, the same person she came here with. Don’t go breaking up a circle of other beautiful women dancing together, now that she likes women like I like women, she’s not allowed to do that. Instead, let’s just us dance together in a big circle, a big circle of people who won’t sleep with each other, know each other already, and could have done this at home together. Fun times!
HOW MUCH LOOKS DO MATTER
If it’s one thing I know, a lot of women brag about how much they’re willing to settle for less in the looks department. They love to give the overweight man a chance or date outside of their type and want the props to come with it. The only reason they do this is because they believe it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts and he who is okay-looking today can become beautiful tomorrow. Whenever a a man expresses how much he likes a girl but the problem is physically she’s not quite what he’s looking for, it’s his female friends who say, “Give her a chance, her looks can grow on you.” How about instead, since she’s into women, she let that girl grow on her. If what she said is true, it can be applied to anyone, right? Right.
HOW IT FEELS INCREDIBLE AND SOMETIMES BAD
We’re all adults here, right? I don’t need to explain exactly what IT is, do I? We all know do know why I’m capitalizing IT, right? Good. Now that we know what IT is, let me explain. IT is is like a a fig newton, you can never have just one. If she choose to have just one, she’s kind of playing herself There is a wonderful world of IT, and IT is at a surplus. Even if she joins my side, that surplus will still be there, so she will understand how it’s hard to leave the table when us guys are playing with house money. I mean she has IT, but she has no idea how other ITS feel. She needs to see for herself, then report back to me. I’m willing to bet money she’s going to give me a high five and say, “Okay, I understand now.” Equally important is her research will reveal mediocre IT, something a lot of women still have trouble comprehending and truth be told, I have trouble explaining. IT is one of those things that when a woman asks me how IT can be bad, I simply throw up my arms and say to her, Try IT yourself.
The Process: And STILL not running, but did 10 minutes of jump rope = one mile of running. And just so we’re clear, the running is something I wanted to add to my workout. I’m still exercising, I just haven’t added the extra credit.
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: Click here to listen to Episode 27. I’m recording tonight so hit me on my Formspring or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a question to be considered for Episode 28.
The #UIGM Twitter Conversation: Last night’s #UIGM Twitter conversation was definitely a thought-provoking one. Click here to read the recap.
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