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Why I Would Join An Online Dating Site Just To Date A Chef

In the past, I have kind of come down hard on online dating. My philosophy has always been, for those who need to do it, enjoy, but I saw no such need to partake. To wit, last year I wrote a post entitled, “Online Dating: What Is, What It Isn’t” in which I said:

Have I ever met someone online first, then carried on in a relationship of some sorts with them in real life? Absolutely. No shame here. It’s happened to me a couple of times throughout my young dating life. But have I ever joined a dating website like and in search of a companion, or at the very least, a great date? Hell no.

But the other night, I was watching “Top Chef All Stars” (trust me I’m going somewhere with this), and there was a competition in which the remaining chefs had to cook a meal for the judges and a loved one, whether it be their spouse or a family member. One of the contestants, Carla, was visited by her husband. While everyone was waiting for Carla to bring out her dishes, they asked her husband how they met. He said without hesitation, “” And I thought, This lucky guy!

Allow me to admit, I have always wanted to date a chef. Not a cook (though I suppose that’s cool) but a chef, a woman who spends her weekends at farmer’s markets and developing tasting menus at her apartment to which I have the key and can stop by every time she’s creating a new dish. I love the idea of her running a restaurant’s back of the house and when I drop by, she comes out in her chef whites, says hi, then goes back into the kitchen to whip me up the special of the day. The bartender pours me a drink on the house, and I make small talk with the house’s general manager all while waiting for her to get off.

Clearly this is a well developed fantasy of mine, and not entirely implausible. There does exist hot female chefs, especially in a New York City, but the problem is I haven’t met any. I have met plenty of women who can cook, at chef-caliber levels to boot, and one cutie who was going to culinary school. But a chef, a real one? So far, no luck.

Such is the reason I would join an online dating site at some point in my life.

Carla and her husband opened my eyes to what is great about expanding the dating strategy to the web, and I’m not talking Facebook or Twitter here. I’m talking about a or another site specifically focused on connecting people who are searching for a partner or at the very least, the opportunity to date outside of our normal social circle.

In a recent CNBC article entitled, “Online Dating Sites Booming” [Click here to read], writer Julia Boorstin showed how the idea of social networking sites eliminating the need for dating sites is untrue. She writes:

The growth of Facebook was expected to bring the demise of online dating sites — why pay to meet people online, when you can do it through your social network for free?

In fact, the opposite is true. People join Internet dating sites to expand beyond their social network — they already know their friends and friends’ friends — and the business of online dating is booming.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Expanding our dating circle to go beyond our social network. Most of us would like to think we’re open minded, but the rub is we’re somewhat socially limited, and that’s not bad, it’s just true. When I go out, I usually feel most comfortable around people with whom I’m familiar. Fortunately, I know a lot of pretty, well-educated, upstanding women who know more women just like them. I have no complaints about dating within my circle, as a matter of fact, I love it. The water is plenty warm where I’m swimming. But I also know if I want to get different results then I might have to do something differently, hence why at some point, I may want to sign up for one of these dating sites.

Here’s the problem:

Most dating sites market themselves as a place where people can not only meet and date but also fall in love. More recently has been the barrage of dating for specific needs or desires, like people who have stuffed animal fetishes or want an extra-marital affair. These sites are on two entirely different ends of the online dating spectrum, and obviously cater to their respective niche, but what about the dating site sfor those who are just looking to meet someone who is in a world different from theirs? If I wanted an extra-marital affair, I can easily try my luck on Facebook and send a message to a woman whose relationship status says, “Married” (I don’t actually condone this). And the idea of meeting someone to marry online seems just as daunting as finding that person in real life.

But what about something like a website called I don’t know if such a site exists, but if not, someone needs to create one and market it as a place where we can meet all kinds of people who have careers we’re interested in knowing more about but would never sign up to do ourselves. I once knew a woman who dated a pilot. She was the envy of all her friends. I don’t know why, but I think it would be totally cool to date a woman who owned a hair salon; also put me down for a young principal (role-playing, hello!) and CPA (come tax time, my woman is my accountant). So much of who we are is consumed in what we do, and as a mentor of mine told me last week, one of the reasons why she loves her husband so much is he loves what he does for a living, ultimately making it easier for her to love him. So imagine a site in which people love what they do for a living and are open to sharing a piece of that world with someone else? Would that not be awesome? I’ll answer that for you. Yes it would.

As of now, I’m still very okay with meeting women in real life. My social circle provides for me a lot of diversity and one of the things I love most is learning about a woman’s world she works in. But should I ever get tired of taking a chance on meeting people in hopes of finding someone with a cool job, I’d sign up for an account on or, if it comes to light,


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  • KitKatCuty84

    Don’t hate on online dating. It’s the only way to get outside your circle and meet some fresh blood. No matter how “diverse” you think your circle is, it’s full of people who think like you and are like you and apparently, for some people, this is proving unsatisfactory. So yeah, while I meet people DAILY (hot people, talented people, ambitious people), those people have, SO FAR, not proven to be interested in the stable, long-term relationship I was seeking at one point. So I thought I might try my hand at dating, since I CLEARLY wasn’t NATURALLY meeting people on my page. If real-life dating is working for you, then yeah, do it. But I prefer a combination of real-life and online dating, at the hopes of expanding the odds of actually finding this elusive dude I seek, LOL.

  • Wisdomismisery

    For the record, that is actually a pretty ingenious idea.

    Anyway, first time commenter blah blah blah. I have a simply theory: Any man not using an on-line dating site is, in my opinion, trying too hard at life. Granted, I don’t live in a large city and I believe you live in New York (I’m too lazy to confirm this) but pretty much any dating site will make a man’s life exponentially easier than solely relying on meeting women strictly in real life situations. I’ve felt for quite some time that on-line dating is simply a means of expanding my dating pool and/or meeting my wife/soul mate/girlfriend/hook-up or whatever. I’ve felt this way since Black Planet was popular….yes, I’m that old. I feel specific on-line dating sites simply bring a more niche and specific market for dating – as you can tailor your profile and/or the site you are on to what you are looking for: a wife/husband, hook-up, etc. etc.

  • ManWifeDog

    “But what about something like a website called I don’t know if such a site exists, but if not, someone needs to create one and market it as a place where we can meet all kinds of people who have careers we’re interested in knowing more about but would never sign up to do ourselves.’ — GENIUS!! LOL!!

  • Dewan

    Myspace in its heyday was the best dating site ever. It was like a 24 hour night club that allowed you to search by race, body type, location and so on. Technology and social networking has progressed but Myspace in the early to mid 2000s what the s**t!

  • Anonymous

    Yes online dating is geared more towards those that want a relationship but the truth is online dating is just like dating in real life only you can be lazy about things, like conversation, lol. I’ve met plenty of men thru online dating sites with the desire to merely date. To date “out of my comfort zone”. It takes a lot of energy to do online dating…well if you care about the outcome it does.

  •  Dating

    Dating websites have become a hit, used by everybody. It is particularly to help shy persons who are very diffident about asking for dates