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To Be With Someone For The Last Time

I know I said I was taking a break, but I was moved to post something quick. Read on. I hope everyone is doing well.

If I haven’t said it before, let me say it now, “Californication” is one of my top three favorite shows on television. Maybe it’s because of the show’s protagonist, Hank Moody, a charming but no-luck-having writer who is, to put it bluntly, addicted to sex. And yet, he is in love with one woman, Karen, his estranged lover and mother of their daughter, Becca.

Throughout the show’s four seasons, Hank and Karen have been on an up and down roller coaster. Their lives, of course, are forever connected through their daughter, but you always get the feeling even if they didn’t have a child together, they would always find some way to be more than friends. I don’t watch every show on television, but I can’t think of a couple more dysfunctional, which is why root for them to be together the way I root for my Pittsburgh Steelers to win games.

This past Sunday I was reminded once more why I watch Karen and Hank with a wide-eyed curiosity usually reserved for train wrecks.

Hank, who has been convicted of statuary rape (long story stemming all the way back to season one), is embraced with Karen and they’re slow dancing to Jeff Beck’s cover of Stevie Wonder’s “Cause We’ve Ended As Lovers” in Karen’s living room. Karen is venting to Hank all that is wrong with him and her and them together, and as she winds down she asks Hank a question I have pondered over with lovers of my own. It was a question Hank answers, and a fantastic end to the episode, because even after the credits were done rolling I was still chewing on the question. So I decided to share the bit of dialogue with all of you below, with the question in bold. Feel free to leave thoughts and/or answers in the comments section. Also, the song they were listening to in the scene. I miss you all.

Hank: Karen, I don’t get it. What do you want from me?

Karen: Something you can’t give me, something you’ve never been able to give me: Something to look forward to.

Hank: I’m sorry.

Karen: Don’t be, it’s not your fault. It’s mine, it’s always been mine…If you were going to have sex with someone, and you knew it was going to be the absolute last time, what do you think it would be like?

Hank: I think it would be incredibly sad.

Karen: Yeah, so do I…make me sad…

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  • Bjhouse817

    Great hearing from you!

    I also love this show. Although I’m nothing like Hank in my actions I understand him. Watching this scene, I was reminded of my ex and the last time we ever had sex. This scene finally gave me the name for the emotion I felt during our last romp. I knew that it was the last time and with every movement my heart continued to shatter. Its incredibly painful to be intimate with a loved one and know that it the last time. People are taken from us everyday but to engage in sex and walk away is not something I ever want to experience again.

  • itsh

    The last time my ex and I had sex, I had no idea it would be the last and I still can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Even though its been almost a year, I still find myself wishing we could be together one last time, but as bjhouse said before me, I feel like it would be just as painful as the pain I feel when I miss him and would only lead me longing for more.
    I guess I just answered my own question. I know it wouldn’t be smart but the heart and mind are rarely on the same page.

  • Alisha

    This is so sad. I totally agree with Itsh. If you still love that person, it can be painful, but what’s even harder is when it’s the last time, and you don’t know it.

  • Ceej

    Cause We’ve Ended As Lovers… was actually by Syreeta. Stevie Wonder’s ex wife. Stevie Wonder just produced it. 😉
    One of my favorite breakup songs ever.

  • GuestLady

    This song and the dialogue is sad but so sensual…I love it when she said “make me sad”. Just perfect.

  • Honey

    I miss u!
    Thanks for sharing. Karen was able to put in words what I have struggled to communicate for years.

  • lalanii

    Welps. Not that anyone’s asking me, but rather since I’m now hooked reading… What do I think it would be like?

    Passionate. Scary. Painful. Kelly Clarkson’s Beautiful Disaster (Acoustic Version only)

    I think that regardless of if you know if it’s the last time or not- just thinking of the moments will cause you some type of sentiment. The pressure of finality. Inherent hope, or hopelessness.

    What caught me wasn’t only the question but what Karen said before that when she said “Something you’ve never been able to give me: something to look forward to.” So many times for me it has been– not enough to look forward to in the future to sustain the present. So many times.

  • TheLeoGrl

    Thank you Jozen…I miss you madly *waiting patiently for your full-time return*

  • TheLeoGrl

    Love Syreeta….googling now….

  • Shehateashley

    Wow…good writers! They really captured both the eroticism and the sorrow in the moment. I think we all have a moment where we realize we’ve let someone go emotionally, but then proceed to have one last “go at it” physically. I know i have, thx for this post. 🙂

  • Guest

    As i always keep in mind: Being lost for ‘words’ proves that a ‘promise’ can’t be kept. In most situations where we may have a moment with others, for all we know, that moment could be the last time.

  • Curry

    I think the music is a perfect fit to how it is when you know you are having your last intimate experience with someone you care deeply about. The very beginning of the song, the guitar, sounds like whales calling, which creates sets up a very emotional response. It is hard for me to find the passion through the pain.

  • Teddy

    Can’t speak for everyone else but from my own experience of knowingly having sex for the last time with an ex/soon to be ex it was….certainly different. Though my body was going through the motions my mind was preoccupied with thoughts racing. Thoughts bouncing between what I feel and what’s real…hoping things could be different…things would be different. I knew it was goodbye. I knew it was for the best. Reminiscing. I missed him already…truthfully I don’t think I missed him I think I missed what we had…and that was gone. We had nothing left to sustain us so I knew it was goodbye. So I embraced the moment for what it was…goodbye.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t get to watch the show cause I don’t have showtime but maybe I will start catching up through netflix. The question is an interesting one and I have never really thought about it. I guess if you really care about someone and you know for sure its the last time you will ever sleep with them it would be sad. I don’t think I would want to feel that kins of sad though especially if it real emotionally connected sex.