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Archive for April, 2011

The Sneaky People Who Stay In Our System

April 25th, 2011 16 comments

So I just finished reading the book, “One Day” by David Nicholls; a solid read about two people — Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley — who meet on July 15, 1988. The book then follows their journey for the next 20 years on that specific day, each chapter taking place a year to the day later. Sometimes they are apart and sometimes they are together.

I won’t get into what happens to the two of them, but for those who want to find out, read the book or wait for the movie which will come out sometime early Summer and stars Ann Hathaway as Emma.

What I will get into is how reading Emma and Dexter’s story made me think a lot about relationships we keep forever, though never planned to. The way some people sneak into our system and stay there for years.

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Categories: Life Tags:

Silly Love: Three Men Do Their Women’s Makeup

April 19th, 2011 19 comments

The first video I saw was via my friend Shani’s Twitter feed, who saw it over here. Below it, I saw a link to a similar video which inspired the first one I saw. Then, that video had a link to one more video. All three videos are below the jump and feature a boyfriend/fiancee/husband doing the makeup for his girlfriend/fiancee/wife.

This is fascinating stuff. I didn’t watch all three videos; matter of fact, the only one I saw from start to finish was the first one, and I didn’t even watch that video in its entirety. I just let it rock while I browsed through other things on the web because I wasn’t really playing any of these videos to see how to apply makeup. What I was more interested in was how the men could do such a womanly thing without making themselves looked like their whipped.

I have a thing about holding a woman’s purse, and when I say a thing I mean, I don’t do it. I will sooner help her find a place to put it down than I will hold a woman’s purse in my hand.

I’m kidding.

Sort of.

I have held a woman’s purse for her. I don’t like to do it, but it’s nothing to which I’m allergic. I bring this up because it’s something I thought about when I was watching the first video; how men sometimes get so immersed in their relationships that they tend to let down their guard and make compromises on being their own man for the sake of being their woman’s man. It’s not to say any of this is bad,  this is just what happens when we fall in love. Without thinking twice, I’d hold the purses of any ex-girlfriend (no longer than 30 seconds!), but girls for whom I haven’t gotten close to, I might think twice.

I think we’re seeing an extension of that attitude in these videos. Obviously all three of these videos were made in good fun, but what’s even more obvious to me is they were made out of love too. I don’t wish I had a woman here so I could film a video of me putting on her makeup. But these videos do remind me of how real love can be filled with silly moments. When we’re in love and with the person we love, we do silly things like sing a song we barely know the words to entirely off key or we have cartwheel contests. We have silly next names for our lovers and makeup silly games or contests.

And when we’re in love, we don’t think twice about doing any of these silly things. If you take a look at any of these videos, note how none of the men are making apologies for doing their women’s makeup. There’s no posturing here, because that’s what real love doesn’t do, it doesn’t front. I can’t say I’m in a rush to do a woman’s makeup, even if she is the woman I call a girlfriend/fiance/wife, but I can say this much: I’ve been in love before, and it sort of looks like this.

Check out the videos and discuss in the c-section.

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Categories: guys, women Tags:

God As My Witness, Time, It Was My Mistress

April 13th, 2011 11 comments

Those not heavy on the Internet may not be aware of Jay-Z’s new website, Life and Times. It’s a dope web space so far, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Just the other day, the site posted a brand new song by Sade featuring Jay-Z. The song, entitled “The Moon and The Sky (Remix)”, is one of three new songs featured on Sade’s two-disc greatest hits compilation, The Ultimate Collection.

When I first heard Jay-Z’s verse, I wasn’t blown away, but I was intrigued. The most obvious thing I heard was a guest eager to make an impression. I believe this is Sade’s first and only collaboration with a hip-hop artist, and Jay sounded like he was aware this type of collaboration was a milestone in his career so digging up one of those old rhymes in his head wouldn’t cut it. He has a brief 16, but he goes for it here.

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Categories: dating Tags:

A Man’s Worst Nightmare And Infidelity

April 11th, 2011 16 comments

The other day, I heard a story about a woman who cheated on her boyfriend. It was so sad, the story, not because of her act of infidelity. I know all too well women are just as capable of being unfaithful as men are, so anytime I hear about a woman stepping out on her boyfriend or husband or fiancé, I don’t really flinch. 

What makes me wince, and what made this story so particularly disturbing was the act itself was something she would have never done with her boyfriend.

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The Four Things A Man Should Never Have To Buy For Himself

April 5th, 2011 19 comments

When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant part time. One of my co-workers was this really fly hostess who was a few years my elder. I think she was in like community college or something. In any case, every now and then, she would put me on to the ways of women, what they liked, what they didn’t like.

Much of her lessons have been forgotten, admittedly, but there was one lesson she taught me that has stuck with me forever. It goes as follows:

A woman should never have to buy her own flowers, jewelry, or perfume

I believe her father told her this, and I thought it good and fair advice. My mother also once told me a man should buy his woman flowers at least once a month. This is good advice as well. Over the years, I have also noticed another item or purchase a woman should never have to make on her own: A day at the spa. All men should get their special lady a day at the spa, whether it be for a special occasion or not. So those are the four things a woman should never have to buy for herself, which begs the question: What should a man never have to buy for himself? Even if he has the means to do so, I thought, there should be some items men should receive from others instead of treating themselves.

I’ve thought long and hard about this list and I’m finally ready to share it with everyone else. Feel free to add anything both to the list of things a woman should never have to buy for herself (which I’m sure my woman readers are going to do anyway) and the list of things a man should never have to buy for himself.

Here it is, four things a man should never have to purchase for himself. No further explanations necessary.

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Categories: dating, Five Things, guys Tags:

Breaking Up: What It Feels Like For A Man

April 4th, 2011 17 comments

If ever there was a time when I so badly wanted the women of the world tapping my phone line, it’s when one of my boys is telling me about a woman he cares for but with whom he has to break up.

There are reasons we all do it, some good, some not good, some obvious, and some abstract. But lately I have been thinking about why men do it for what seems like no reason at all, and wondering whether or not women ever take our side of the story into consideration. In other words, sometimes it’s not him, sometimes it is her.

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Categories: dating, guys Tags:

Stories: “Excuse me, Bartender!”

April 1st, 2011 14 comments

My girlfriend at the time and I took a seat at the bar of a restaurant while waiting for a table to have dinner. When we took our seats, the bartender, a pretty woman who was wearing a spaghetti strapped shirt, jeans, and big hair walked over to us. She laid down two bar napkins in front of us, turned to me and asked me first what I would like to drink.

I thought it was a mistake. In all my years working in restaurants throughout high school and college, one of the paramount rules was women always order first, matter of fact, everything concerning the service requires the woman goes first. This was even more true in fine dining establishments similar to the one where my ex-girlfriend and I were having dinner. I turned to my ex and asked her what she wanted. My ex looked at the bartender and with a slight hint of attitude ordered a mojito. I placed my order and when the bartender went to make our drinks, I asked my ex if everything was okay. She insisted it was but I could tell her woman’s intuition was picking up on something I wasn’t.

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Categories: Stories Tags: