The Four Things A Man Should Never Have To Buy For Himself
When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant part time. One of my co-workers was this really fly hostess who was a few years my elder. I think she was in like community college or something. In any case, every now and then, she would put me on to the ways of women, what they liked, what they didn’t like.
Much of her lessons have been forgotten, admittedly, but there was one lesson she taught me that has stuck with me forever. It goes as follows:
A woman should never have to buy her own flowers, jewelry, or perfume
I believe her father told her this, and I thought it good and fair advice. My mother also once told me a man should buy his woman flowers at least once a month. This is good advice as well. Over the years, I have also noticed another item or purchase a woman should never have to make on her own: A day at the spa. All men should get their special lady a day at the spa, whether it be for a special occasion or not. So those are the four things a woman should never have to buy for herself, which begs the question: What should a man never have to buy for himself? Even if he has the means to do so, I thought, there should be some items men should receive from others instead of treating themselves.
I’ve thought long and hard about this list and I’m finally ready to share it with everyone else. Feel free to add anything both to the list of things a woman should never have to buy for herself (which I’m sure my woman readers are going to do anyway) and the list of things a man should never have to buy for himself.
Here it is, four things a man should never have to purchase for himself. No further explanations necessary.
A Watch: We all keep time on our cellular devices these days, so the watch has seemingly been put on the back burner, but it’s also resurrected the importance of a nice time piece. These days, no man is wearing a watch for its functionality, we’re wearing one because they’re fashionable and demonstrate our appreciation for the old school.
Tickets To A Game: I’ve mentioned this gift before, because I just think it’s so obvious for the woman who is dating a sports fan. Unless he’s already a season ticket holder, nothing will please a man more than two or so tickets to a competitive sporting event. A rule I’d like to add to this purchase: If bought as a birthday/Father’s Day/Christmas gift, encourage the man to go to the event with one of his friends. If bought just for the sake of being nice, the woman has a right to impose herself on the second ticket.
Cologne: The funny thing about this gift is how possessive women are over it. I remember I once put on some cologne before heading out on a date with an ex-girlfriend of mine. As we were walking to our destination she says, “What are you wearing?” I forget what the scent was, but when I told her she then asked, “Where did you get it from?” I said, “It was a gift.” She asked, “Who got it for you?” I said, “Umm, an ex of mine.” She said, “Okay…” Then there was silence. We continued walking down 34th street, which for those who know is a haven for bootleggers and street vendors. Out of nowhere, my ex stops at a table filled with name brand colognes on the cheap. She’s sampling, smelling, asking me to smell this bottle and that before she finally settles on D&G. I liked it too. She tells the vendor she’ll take the D&G, pays for it, and then hands me the bag. “I’ll get you another cologne later, but until then, the next time you put some on, you put this on. I don’t want to smell what another woman bought you.” To me, this still makes sense, so ladies, buy a man a scent. He should smell good on his own but he should smell magical because of you.
Gadgets: This is strictly for those who are in a committed relationship because gadgets are expensive. Though the watch may seem like the jewelry equivalent to a man, it’s actually gadgets. This sort of gift can range anywhere from Beats By Dre Headphones (any woman who wants to buy me a pair, I would love you for it) to an iPad 2. Although, I wouldn’t trust a woman who bought me an iPad 2 out of fear she added a hidden tracking device app that she keeps tabs on at all times, but I digress. The point is, gadgets, ladies. Get them for that special guy. And yes, Madden 2012 counts as a gadget.
Hats/Tailored Suit: Here’s the deal with this purchase, it doesn’t look good on every man. But hey, I can’t speak for every man here, I can only speak for me and I make hats look good. If you’re dating one of those guys who looks ridiculous in hats, go with a tailored suit. A reader actually emailed me about this very thing a couple of weeks ago, saying she took her man on a date to a customized hat shop. I thought it was a great idea. Like a man should know a woman’s ring size, a woman should know her man’s hat size, or if applicable, his suit measurements. I actually had another ex-girlfriend of mine go in my closet, take one of my tailored suits along with another suit I hadn’t gotten tailored yet, and had the tailor make the necessary adjustments as a Christmas gift. But it didn’t get done in time, so she gave me the pick-up ticket as a gift. Unfortunately, we broke up soon after, and she sure did take the ticket with her.
The Process: My friend ER incidentally gave me a catchy title for this whole fitness process. “From Salamander to Samurai.” Video footage, soon come.
Poppin’ Questions Podcast: I was going to post Episode 31 of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast today, but I decided to write a post for you all instead. None of you are mad about it. There’s still time to hit me with a question for consideration over here on my Formspring. If you haven’t already, Episode 30 is here for your enjoyment.
She Smashed The Homies: So I shot this video with the four lovely lady hosts of a show entitled WWMD (What Would A Man Do?). The show is of their own creation, and right now exclusively a web series. I enjoyed it and if anyone has any brains, they’ll throw their support behind it and help the show grow. Click here to watch.
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