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CONTEST: The $25,000 Reason I Want A Beard

June 21st, 2011

The other day, I was hanging out with some friends and we were playing one of those silly question games. I forgot the exact name of it, but I remember thinking the questions were rather too deep for something that was just supposed to be for fun. One of the questions was, “If you could ask God any question, what would it be?” My answer to that was simply, ‘I”m not telling you fools what I would ask God! You’re crazy.”

There was one question I liked, and I answered without hesitation. I forgot the exact wording, but it basically asked if there was one thing about myself I could change physically, what would it be? I only answered one thing, which was my height. I stand at a controversial 6’0, so I can admit, I do wish at times I was like 6’2 or 6’3, especially because of my well-known fondness for tall women, but I digress…but the other thing I wish I could change physically is my inability to grow a full beard.

I blame this on my Japanese roots. Most Asian men have baby faces, and I’m no different. Sure I have a mustache, and some chin stubble, but I can’t even lie, sometimes I wish i could get the full grown joint so I could look like some sort of modern day viking.

Now some might ask, what’s up with the pre-occupation of the full grown beard? Well, there’s the obvious reasons like how mostly every chick I know digs a beard. Matter of fact, I’ve never heard a woman tell me different. No woman has ever said to me, “I love how your face makes you always look like you just turned 18.” Never heard such a thing.

Here’s the other reason why I wish I had a beard: If I had a beard, I could possibly enter this contest Gillette is having by making a video of some fine woman shaving my face for a chance to win $25,000.

I know some of you all bearded men who read this blog probably need $25K in the worst way, and even if you already have $25K, what’s $25K more? I also figure since some of you all men have beards, you probably have a woman around who loves it, and so here is what I suggest: Much like these dudes filmed themselves putting makeup on their women, shoot a video of your girl shaving you for the Gillette ProGlide Invasion Challenge. Remember, if it doesn’t work, but it’s a good video, you’re $25K richer. Just so long as you get votes.

Now of course, you don’t have to make a video of a girl shaving your beard with Gillette, but I personally think that would make for the best video that would most likely get a lot of votes and therefore you get those 25 stacks. But hey, I’m no Spielberg. I’m just a writer, who is encouraging you all to enter this contest.

A couple of other strict rules you must follow…

1) USE THE GILLETTE FUSION PROGLIDE IN YOUR VIDEO: C’mon guys, if I was entering a contest to win some money from Nike, I wouldn’t show up in Reeboks. This situation is no different. I’m going to need you all to use the Gillette Fusion Proglide razor, looks like this.

2) TAG YOUR VIDEO WITH UIGM: Put it at the end, it isn’t that hard, but please, PLEASE, make sure to do this so everyone knows that you heard about this contest and you were inspired to shoot your dope video from this website.

3) GO HERE TO UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO: Got that? Right. Here.

More details in the official flyers below.


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