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Thoughts On Turning 30: As It Turns Out, Women 25 And Under Aren’t So Bad

A little more than a year ago, I wrote a post about age differences, explaining why at my age, I preferred to date women over 25 versus women under 25. Now let me explain why all of that was a bunch of crap.

If there’s one thing I’m learning as I get older it’s that women don’t get any younger. I have always been into dating women who were my age or older, but that’s when I was younger myself. Now that I’m going on 30, those same older women I used to dig are my age, but what’s more interesting is my changing attitude towards the women who were once my age at 25, 24, and even as young as 23.

Nowadays, dating women younger than me is a situation born out of circumstance more than it is a preference. Don’t get me wrong, I still dig a woman my age, and I definitely don’t mind a woman older than me, but as it turns out, these younger women are okay too. The only thing I ask of them is they not date me or put any type of expectations on me simply because I’m older than them.

I wrote about such a thing too last year, on how being older doesn’t make me better or more ready for something like a relationship. The women who are younger than me who have dated me can tell you first hand I’m still very much a work in progress, and I’m fine with them realizing such a thing. What I’m not fine with is the surprised look on their face when they realize that is the case.

If there is one problem I have with women under 25, it is their inability to see past their own plans, to understand sometimes it won’t work out simply because we want it to. But let me digress before I start sounding like an old man lecturing these youngsters.

My sister will be turning 27 on Saturday, two days before my 30th, and she’s seemed the older of us two for a while now simply because she’s a mother. I dated a woman who was barely older than me and always felt the need to remind me she was the age that she was, not realizing how remarkably immature that made her sound. Another woman slightly older than me, this one a friend, had the nerve to tell me dating a younger woman was better for me because they were easier to handle, not realizing my cup of tea has never been a submissive woman.

The younger women I have dated have been good to me and good for me, and the older I get, the less this surprises me.

A few months ago, I actually dated a 23-year-old woman, and though we’re not dating anymore, she was, in a word, fantastic. We had no arguments, and got along famously. Of course, whenever I say things like this, people want to know why I’m not dating that person anymore, but that’s not the point here. The point is we dated in the first place and when I was younger I thought when I got older there would be no way I would ever do such a thing.

 

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  • BBB

    ok i wouldnt ask why you arent together if she was so “fantastic”
    i am 23 and i really feel age is just a number, even though id like to date a guy btw 26-28, i have dated guys that were 30 and to me they are all just men!!
    another thing is women mature faster so i really wouldn’t want to date a guy my age, their priorities right now do not match mine.
    a 23 year old is still clubbing every other day, organizing house parties and being an undergraduate, I’m in my second year of grad school, holding down a job and looking for stimulating conversation.
    so yeah, women under 25 arent half bad 🙂

  • guest

    As you stated “Nowadays, dating women younger than me is a situation born out of circumstance more than it is a preference”. –VERY WELL SAID. The choices we make in life has very little to do with who or what we prefer, most of the decision process comes from who or what is right for us based on our own circumstances. Do what you think is right, in this case, Do who you think is right as long as you’re happy. It’s your body, most importantly, it’s your life. 

  • http://www.wix.com/katwebb84/katwebb84 KitKatCuty84

    Definitely haven’t noticed ANY difference AT ALL in men based on their age. I’m 26 and I’ve dated 3.5 years younger up to 16 years older and nothing is different. They’re not more ready, they’re not more mature. The older ones are a bit more set in their ways, which I don’t think is a good thing. They can also be patronizing because though they don’t want to be given greater expectations with their increasing age, they want to act as if their age gives them more wisdom. 

    But basically, whatever guy you’re dating, they’re all the type of guy that would date you, so whatever age they are, they have to  have a few things in common with each other.

  • http://twitter.com/CDNDreamin Jinx Moneypenny

    I’m glad you discovered this. I’m under 25 and am with someone older myself, and he’s one of the most grounded, self-disciplined people I have ever met in my life, so I guess he fits the “ready” and “mature” older guy stereotype.

    There are some horrible events in my life that happened before we met and they definitely changed me a great deal in terms of maturing. I don’t think I would’ve been ready for him if not for those events. I was very mature in a few aspects but not like now.

  • http://twitter.com/bellametaphor bobby.

    I agree with the all the comments, connections with an individual > age.  I’ve dated men older than my 22 years of age, and it didn’t really make a difference.  The only thing though, I don’t think all women under 25 have the inability to see past their own plans– granted, some may depending on their situation.  I know some girls my age who won’t date men over 25 because they feel they are at different places in life or something like that, however, a mature woman or woman ready for a relationship I don’t think will be like that (don’t know if how I just worded that made any sense at all lol).  Good post though, and happy early birthday.  (:

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, some of us are alright. On the flipside, I generally have little to no interest in “men” my age or younger. If I were to meet one with whom I clicked and who had his stuff together, though, I wouldn’t be averse to trying our luck.