California Love Or Lack Thereof
Last night, I had the opportunity to attend the Beyoncé concert at Roseland Ballroom.
A write-up of the show is soon to come and when it does I will post a link to it so all can read here’s the write-up, so I won’t get into too many details of the show.
In the early part of the performance, Beyoncé ran through some of her Destiny’s Child hits, most of which I take issue with because I feel like they fried the brains of a generation of women, but that’s neither here nor there. They’re still good songs, that much I can admit. The only song I was bracing myself for her to perform was “Soldier”. If she had, I would have walked out immediately.
To the ladies of the world who are dating a man from California or anywhere on the West Coast, let me tell you how to piss him off: Play “Soldier” just once in his presence. Watch him get up and go, even if the place where he’s leaving is a car that is going 60 miles per hour. I know this is a fact because I’m from California and I am still upset my Cali brethren and I were slighted in this song. Cali men received absolutely no love in this song, and the first person who tries to convince me Michelle Williams’ verse was the de-facto ode to West Coast dudes all because a corny looking Ice Cube made a cameo in the video while she sang, I’d like to give you directions to the depths of the Pacific ocean.
I’m very proud of my California roots. I’ve lived on the East Coast for 11 years — four in D.C. (where I was was actually born), five in New York City — and I still identify myself as a California man, Northern California to be exact. I am not from a well-known part of the state. Seaside is like an hour south of San Jose and nearly six hours north of Los Angeles, but I still rep my city and my coast like it’s a badge of honor. Just the other day when I was at the grocery store, the cashier asked me where I was from, when I told her California, she said she could hear it in my accent. I took it as a compliment.
I think for men more than women, especially men who are raised somewhere but end up leaving home to see what else life has to offer, a lot of their identity is steeped in where they’re from. One of brothers is a proud New Yorker, born and raised in the city and will remind anybody who thinks different. My friends from college are from all different parts of the map, and they too love to talk about home and how it helped them become the men they are. I myself might not ever go back to California to live (I actually want to settle down in D.C. one day) but I always want people to be able to pick up on the fact that I’m from there.
One of the other things about being from California and living outside of it, is the need to explain to people how there are essentially two different states within the state itself. As I said, I’m from Northern California, a place that is wholly unique and different from Southern California which encompasses everything from L.A. on down to San Diego. This is true not only for men, but also for women. I’ve dated girls from both the southern and northern region of California and if asked to, I would write a whole dissertation on their differences. I gather with men, there are similar differences between men from both regions women can point out, but I don’t know for sure, and this is what I wanted to inquire from the women who read this blog.
What is it like to date us Cali men? What are the consistent identifiers? Seeing as whoever wrote “Soldier” for Destiny’s Child obviously never dated a man from Cali in their life, I want to hear from women who have experiences with Cali men what’s their appeal? When it comes to regional descriptors for men, us West Coast guys are lacking. Most women I have dated tell me I’m the first guy from California they ever dated, unless she’s from California herself. A lot of women are quick to say what they like about Southern guys, East Coast guys, and some can even get specific on the men from the flyover places like any city in Ohio and Chicago or Detroit. But Cali? I’m always hearing women describe us as “random”.
What the hell does that even mean?
So ladies, help me out, I don’t care if it’s good or bad, northern or southern Cali, Portland, Oregon or Seattle, Washington, just let me know, what kind of men are West Coast men known to be? Married or dating a man from the West Coast? What do you like about him that you can say is tied to his West Coast roots? I’m curious and I’m pretty sure every other man from the West Coast is too. Once I have enough comments I will compile them all in an email and send them to all my music industry contacts in attempt to get some woman to write and sing a hit record dedicated to men like me.
Thanks in advance.