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The Worst First Date Movie Ever

Anybody know if there is an award given to the person who makes the worst movie date choices ever? If so, I’d like to nominate myself for contention.

Considering it was the first date, I really had no business asking the young woman over to my place to watch a movie in the first place. Talk about unoriginal.

But what can I say? I was only 20, making intern money and it was Detroit where I just moved to live for the summer. I knew like three people and knew nowhere to go so a movie at my place was really the best I could offer.

Luckily, she understood all these things so she said yes. I told her all she had to do was show up, I’d handle the rest. I was going to make a great dinner and pick a classic film that I just knew she would love.

Dinner went as planned.

As for the movie? Well, let’s just say, short of something from the Bang Bros series, this was probably the worst movie someone could ever choose on a first date. To this day, I smack myself on the forehead when I think of my selection. Not just because of the movie I selected but because I actually thought the movie I selected was the right movie; like whatever a movie is supposed to do to enhance a date, this was going to do it. She’s gonna love this one I thought.

Well, as it turns out, she…Well, here, the movie poster, a clip, and then below, her reaction to the worst first date movie ever.

After the movie I asked my date what she thought.

Her response: “I should’ve told you, I don’t like violent movies.”

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  • KWebb84

    My first date EVER was a double date junior year in high school, because I was too nervous to go alone. I had a promiscuous friend join me, because she’d been on a lot of “dates” and I thought she could liven up the situation, since I was a prude and had no cool date stories or anything like that.

    I chose a horror movie for several reasons:

    1.) I like horror films, especially seeing them in theaters with all the audience commentary.
    2.) I thought that at the scary parts, I could hold onto his big strong arms and that could give me a more natural way to be close to him.
    3.) Dudes like horror films, so I thought he’d be down.

    Unfortunately, what I thought was going to be a horror film in the vein of the “Scream” franchise, which is scary AND funny (perfect date movie, lol), was nothing AT ALL like that, and I blame false advertising.

    I chose “The Mothman Prophesies”. Anyone who has ever seen this movie can tell you what a HORRIBLE choice this was.

    1.) It’s long. It was over two hours.
    2.) It’s quiet. No action, no loud surprises, not much TALKING period (so we couldn’t even kinda chat during).
    3.) No surprises meant no natural ways to be close, so it went the usual, INCREDIBLY awkward route of him taking 45min to inch up my thigh to try to touch “it”, only to have me take his hand in mine and hold it near my knee, just one inch away from “it”.
    4.) My backup plan of my zany friend saving me some awkwardness because he sat between us so I was on the outside.
    5.) My friend’s date was apparently a mute, AND a FRESHMAN.

    So yeah, that was horrible. I called my parents from the restroom so they’d be waiting to pick me up AS SOON as the movie was over and I bounced.

    I didn’t go on another date until college, LOL.

  • KWebb84

    Ugh. Typo-ridden.

    “4.) My backup plan of my zany friend saving me some awkwardness DIDN’T WORK because he sat between us so I was on the outside.”

    “just one inch away from ‘it’.”

    -As in, he was just an inch away when I moved his hand to my knee. That original imagery was confusing, LOL.

  • Nadira Rae

    WHAAAAAT!?!?!?!  I’m sorry, but Dead Presidents is CLASSIC…she’s wack LOL

  • Dewan Gibson

    Man, you’d think the sex scene when Larenz Tate almost took his girl’s anal virginity by accident would turn most women on. Or at least allow you to start a “You tryin’ to let me get up in that balloon knot” conversation. Oh well, guess she didn’t have a good sense of humor. 

  • J Simon

    What.In.The.Hell…were you thinking? haha I’m pretty sure any movie with castration and disembowlment (save maaaaybe Braveheart) isn’t kosher for a first date. Maybe a 6 month anniversary celebratory movie?

  • Sir Fariku

    hahahaaha, I generally stick to comedy, romantic comedy, if I would do a horror flick it would be a thriller. Something scary but not gory.

  • maxfab

    I’ll see your Dead Presidents and raise you a Blade. THAT is the worst first date movie ever. 

  • KWebb84

    What?!!! “Blade” is an AWESOME ANYtime movie!

  • maxfab

    It’s an awesome movie if you’re into vampires. If you’re not (and I am soooo not) it’s 120 minutes asking yourself why the f*ck you ever agreed to go out with this guy.

  • Anonymous

    Exactly.  I own Dead Presidents on DVD… definitely wouldn’t mind it for a first date 

  • Guest

    First Impression usually leads to a lasting impression. Therefore, it all depends on what you want from your date. 

  • Swilliams0626

    Dead Presidents is a classic!  Boo her!

  • Miss.Riss

    LOVE Dead Presidents!!! Definitely one of my favorite movies. At least they were violent with a purpose, lol.

  • ATLs.Marc.of.Excellence

    Nah, gotta go with Vanilla Sky…. hoooooooooorrrrrrrrrible plot…. didn’t get the movie until the very end, and even then, both she and I were like “wtf???”

  • Najeema

    Agreed, Vanilla Sky is PRETTY bad. I’d vote also for Punch Drunk Love with Adam Sandler. Kicking myself for purchasing that movie. 

  • Guest

    i can see why the movie was chosen as a first date movie. As Dead Presidents is considered to be an action flick. Perhaps the writer of this posting had badabing badaboom in mind. His date must be hot for him to have selected an action movie such as Dead Presidents. As the saying goes in Hollywood when it comes to production; Lights, Camera, Action!

  • Najeema

    I loved Vanilla Sky. Thought Punch Drunk Love would be along that vein. Ummm….not so much. 

  • Doreen Yomoah

    I’d say Once Upon a Time in Mexico was a horrible first date movie.

  • LaurenWilder

    A, for effort you were 20 y.o. at the time, but I’m really cracking up here.  Also, I hope you’re still considering a movie on a first date *Kanye Shrug*

    Worst First Date Movie: “Inception” liked the movie or at least trying to concentrate without unwanted physical attention.

  • Chocolate Mom

    Wow, at the very least, you should have asked her what she likes.  My first date with my now husband was to see “Dawn of the Dead”, but we are both huge horror fans so it worked to his advantage!! LOL