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What A Man Thinks: The Ex-Girlfriend’s New Guy

Nothing humbles a man more than the news his ex-girlfriend is dating some new guy.

If we receive word from a mutual friend or associate of ours, usually we get a good idea of details and whether or not he measures up to us at least on paper. But sometimes we hear the news from the girl herself, whether she takes it upon herself to tell us she’s found someone new or we inquire about their latest goings on and they casually bring up the news.

This of course causes us to make all sorts of assumptions about about who the mystery man is. Usually, we think he is an actor or a ball player or some magical God on Earth who does both at the same time at the highest level, like Dwyane Wade who is not only an NBA Champion but also an accomplished actor (doubt me and I’ll chalk it up to the fact that you haven’t seen Just Wright).

Ninety-nine percent of the time, men think their ex-girlfriend’s new guy is Alex Rodriguez or some other guy who has the financial means to live life better than us. We also think he’s taller than us. These are facts. I’m sure Shaquille O’Neal (7’1) swore his ex-wife started dating Yao Ming (7’6) when they first separated. That’s just how some of men think. It doesn’t have to make sense. When have we ever made sense?

If it’s not an athlete, it’s some construction worker because we remember the time she got all frustrated we couldn’t hang up her towel rack evenly. Even if we work in construction ourselves, we’re thinking, “So now she’s dating the construction worker with his own television show on HGTV? I knew she was Hollywood.”

Some men will say no such thought has ever occurred to them.

Liars.

Every time an ex of mine finds a new guy and I hear about it, I’m thinking “So? Morris Chestnut makes horrible movies anyway!” I remember when an ex of mine was bringing her new boyfriend to a party I was attending, and when I arrived, I saw her and thought there was no way the dude standing next to her who only came up to my shoulder was the new guy, I was looking for Brad Pitt. As it turns out, this guy who had to look up to make eye contact with me when I shook his hand was her new boyfriend, which was a relief cause I like Brad Pitt movies and it would be a shame if I was given a reason not to watch them anymore.

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  • http://www.imperfectenjoyment.com Dewan Gibson

    What’s worse is when you find your ex is pregnant and keeping the baby after aborting your child. 

  • Preach

    Wow

  • HBK Banks

    YOU HIT THE NAIL on this one Bro! I can definitely relate went through this a couple weeks ago. And I was like damn why am I trippin? I gotta girl

  • http://www.max-logic.com/ maxfab

    I had a comment all ready but Dewan’s stunned me into silence.

  • http://www.writingwithwine.com/ Maiah

    word.

  • Just a Girl

    Hilarious! Things I never knew as a female…

  • http://moacn.wordpress.com/ Sir Fariku

    I generally dont want to know who my ex is dating but you are right I imagine that she is dating someone better in some way. Man thoughts, lol. If I still got feelings, I secretly wish its some mini me type dude.

  • Jade

    LoL @ DWade in Just Wright……….
    @9686949727958ecc43c1653eaa8eabf0:disqus 
    It’s like you (I, too) hope that the ex’s current will be a step up from however you see yourself. Most times, they’re not–at least not from what you can ‘see’. It kind of disturbs me (for a minute) actually, to see my exes with sub-par currents. Then I have to remind myself that I don’t really care. :0

  • Anon 99

    This happened to my ex. My next great love was a professional athlete. Wonder how that made him feel.

    However, when a guy breaks up with me I have the opposite thought. “So, now he’s going to end up with some really ugly and dumb girl ’cause how can he do better than me?”

  • Anon 99

    This happened to my ex. My next great love was a professional athlete. Wonder how that made him feel.

    However, when a guy breaks up with me I have the opposite thought. “So, now he’s going to end up with some really ugly and dumb girl ’cause how can he do better than me?”

  • Sevin

    So me and my ex had his conversation many times. How I would never find a man like him, and I’m thinking “GOD I hope NOT”. And to answer many a mans question about how do there fine women end up with “subpar” (in your un-humbled opinion), it’s because some fine man like you broke her heart, and probably cheated on her. SO she decided to fine a “safe bet” in a regular, shorter, educated, loving and faithful man.

  • Guest

     “I’m thinking “So?” is the Best way to look at it as for: What a man thinks: the Ex-Girlfriend’s new guy. Always refer back to what you wrote in your review about Crazy Stupid Love’ “I don’t want to see a man fall in love with a girl to the point where he can’t keep it together and loses damn near everything else in life, because that’s not honest…. Crazy, Stupid, Love understands that.”  Whatever happens in their relationship, good or bad, it’s in their own hands. In other words, who cares about who the Ex Girlfriends are with. As long as you’re happy with the one you will choose to be in a relationship with and as long as you know it will be an honest relationship.

  • Ighosime

    Lol. Great post and you echoed the sentiment exactly. I currently have that thought right now and I’m a bit apprehensive of the day she tells me that there’s a new guy and who he is.

  • guest

    The link about the book about love marriage and divorce, there should be a book for women as well, as some men are known to be a heartbreak and financial disaster

  • jessica

    Hello am Jeniffer from UK i wanna thank Dr okogbo for what he has done
    for me at first i taught he was scam but until i just decided to follow
    my mind.i told him that my ex lover which i loved with all my heart left
    me for another all Dr okogbo did was to laugh and said he will be back
    to me in 3days time i taught he was lying on the 3rd day my ex called me
    and said he wanna see me,i was shocked then he came over to my place
    and started begging that he was bewitched,immediately i forgives him and
    now we are back and he his really madly in love with me.All thanks to
    Dr okogbo he indeed wonderful incise you wanna contact him here his is
    private mail okogbotemple@yahoomail.com

  • Olivia Wall

    It doesn’t bother me who my ex’s date… My two from HS are married, and one from college is married… and those do not bother me at all… I had one other in college… I guess my first real adult relationship… we moved in together… then all of a sudden people started talking about us getting married, when my plans were to have kids, and so on… I had lost track of how involved we truly had become until outsiders pointed it out to me… I never felt he was a great love nor did I want to spend my life with him… I was his first and only girlfriend… he was a huge party guy before me… and bad boy… I ended it, moved out one weekend he was at his parents having them give him money to live on because he had no job… was my ex a bad guy? No, he was nice enough… attractive but not overly so, smart, and came from an affluent family who did everything for us (it drove me nuts!)… He was upset when I left, I just knew it wasn’t right… I didn’t see a future with him.. He tried to take me on a couple dates, but I felt nothing for him except that I couldn’t lead him on… He was angry at first… I didn’t speak to him, met someone else about 8 months later… and now am getting married… My ex now has a girlfriend, and honestly they are perfect for each other… She brings out the best in him as my now fiance does in me that my ex never did… My fiance makes me want more for my life with him. When my ex and I were together it wasn’t our lives as a team… I have seen my ex with his new girlfirend… she is different from me, shorter, blonde, blue eyed… but we look nothing alike… and I do not compare because honestly my ex wasn’t someone I found really good looking… like I do my fiance and my ex always prefered blondes and now that is who he is with… I hope they work out, because he actually seems happier… healthier (doesn’t drink hardly anymore and he works out now) and all around like he is more fulfilled as am I…. Are we friends? No, and we never will be… but I would not be rude to him or her when I see them. Snaps and props for all my exs and their lovely ladies and I hope they feel that way for me…

  • Marco

    this is hilarious. I think the same way I always end up thinking she’s going to end up with some doctor or some engineer or a stinking rich up & coming prodigy, I think all guys who lose the girl we love think this way. I mean maybe there is a slim chance of it happening, there is always guys lurking in the shadows waiting for that moment to bite as soon as the girl becomes single. Ah well, nothing you can do about it but find someone who really loves you the way you love them and leaving you is never something they can fathom.