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The Goodbye

September 2nd, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

It will begin the night before your last day together. If things have gone really well, the night before is when the high starts to come down, right before it’s time to go to bed and make love for what will be anywhere between the second to the last time or the last time before they get back on that plane or bus or car to travel back to wherever they live.

How to spend the last few hours together are determined by when they are scheduled to leave.

Usually, the earlier they leave, the less painful the goodbye. Maybe they bought a ticket to leave on the first flight out, thus the last few hours spent are with eyes closed, catching sleep, though most of the time one of you is up, bracing yourself for when it’s time to say goodbye. You don’t wake the other person though, not until it’s time to go. When you two are both awake, the only thing superseding the sadness of this inevitable parting of the ways is the sleepiness, because neither of you got much sleep. At some point in the night, both of you had your eyes open thinking about the person sleeping next to you as though they already left.

Sometimes, they choose to take that red-eye out or leave later in the day. This allows for some quality time on that last day together, but both of you are constantly checking your phones or watches, making sure you don’t run off schedule. Maybe you get a bite to eat, maybe you spend the morning indoors laying in bed. However spent, the hours never feel like hours, more like minutes.

Early morning or late evening, it all really doesn’t matter. The real challenge is getting through the last goodbye. When final boarding for the train or bus has been called, when the flight they’re on is getting ready to board, these are the moments we hurt the most. You two promised each other you wouldn’t cry and one of you lied because those are tears you feel on your shoulder or in your chest. And the harder you hug, the more tears come, it’s a sponge-like effect.

Oh how these moments hurt, because no matter how many movies we’ve seen where one person turns around and changes their mind, this ain’t a movie and that’s not what will happen. In real life, if we dare try to go through the security checkpoint without a boarding pass, TSA arrests us and we’re being put on a “no fly” list.

So we separate, and one of us has to turn our back to the other because walking backwards is silly. Instead, we just look over our shoulder while the one who could remain stationery looks at their love get smaller and smaller as they move further and further into the sea of other travelers. They make a left or a right, and in minutes that felt like seconds, they’re out of sight.

Whether it was a season, a week, or a weekend, this is what it feels like to say goodbye. It’s quick and swift. Do your best to make it long and memorable.

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  • Anonymous

    Story of my life, written and articulated better than I ever could.

  • Ladybird

    “And the harder you hug, the more tears come, it’s a sponge-like effect.”

    I feel like this happened yesterday yet it was a year ago.  It was the day the storm started and nothing has been right since then.  **sighhhh**

    well put sir! 

  • Islandgirl145

    ….i could not have put that any better. Reading this brought tears to my eyes and memories from my heart. Thank you Jozen

  • wahoo4uva

    BEST post you’ve written in a good while.  Romantic, heartfelt, tender.  More like these, please.

  • Anonymous

    thumbs up, man. love the emotional honesty. and the fact checking w/r/t day of always checking the time. and that security checkpoint.  

  • Jay-D

    I wish I had read this before I left home for school… even though it felt long then, goodbye was way to quick when I wont be able to see him again until December…

  • guest

    The goodbye feeling may be painful, but it’s tomorrow that allows one to see the light with or without the one(s) whom we had to say goodbye to. As we remind ourselves that life is a journey, not a destination which help us to cope with whatever life comes upon us, good and or bad 

  • Guest

    i felt like i wrote this… just not nearly as well expressed.  great piece.

    the build up to “the hello” is a high in itself though. and there’s only so many times you can say hello/goodbye/hello/goodbye before the high wears off.  so appreciate the lows too.

  • ♥Miss Shalay♥

    I’ve been following your writing and this blog for longer than I can remember and yet I never felt compelled to leave a comment. It always made me feel a little like I was peeking through a window reluctant to come inside, this morning however I decided to take a seat. Not only because of this beautifully written post but also the inspiration that your words hold. Of course these aren’t things you haven’t heard however if at any point you ever question why you do what you do please know that there are other writers out there who see your work and find the motivation to be their absolute best. The best thing about your voice is that it is honest, it is yours and you own it regardless of what the reaction may be. I don’t always agree with what you write and I love this because whether a reader agrees or not isn’t the aim, your writing makes the reader think. You evoke thought, emotion and at times action and that is truly a gift. For whatever reason I felt like sharing this today… consider it a thank you from a reader who continues to inspired to find her own voice.

  • Ceej


  • Namia20

    wow this is beautiful thanks for sharing…felt tears

  • Keme

    Beautiful! This brings back memories for me and I love that Kelis song!

  • Keme

    Beautiful! This brings back memories for me and I love that Kelis song!
    Attached files

  • Jess

    Ack, love this