Jozen’s Incredibly Fun and Exciting Dating Strategy Part 2 of 2
Before I begin, apologies for the hundreds of thousands of people who were refreshing my website every two minutes last night because I promised you the second part of Tuesday’s post was going to go up on Wednesday. I’m a guy, which means I can only promise a promise will be broken.
Now that you all forgive me, let’s move on and get to the good stuff. Part 2 of Jozen’s Incredibly Fun and Exciting Dating Strategy.
WAIT! One more thing…
It’s very important you all have followed the advice I mandated in the previous post. I really need you all to understand that nothing I tell you in this post will be effective if you just ignore step 1 and skip to step 2. When I first started getting into shape, I couldn’t build muscle from the fat I stored up, I had to lose the weight first and then build up. This is kind of like the same idea. You can’t prosper and live a wonderful 2012 full of fun until you’re willing to do what it takes to get there. So here’s the post one more time for those who may think they need a refresher. Remember, get your mind right first. For as long as this takes, do it, then you can get into what I’m laying out below
To those who are now ready to accept a new way of dating, thank you for allowing me a piece of your beautiful mind.
This strategy is for people who already date quite a bite or at least are active enough to the point where most dates aren’t necessarily a special occasion. If you’re the type of person who skips down the street when someone asks you out on a date or says yes when you ask them out on a date, you might want to find a beginner level class on dating and while you’re at it, stop skipping.
As for the rest of you who date frequently or at least regularly, here’s what I need you to do. Bullet pointed for your convenience.
- Write down the type you always seem to date and how you usually meet that type of person.
Since we’re nearing the end of 2011, go back as far as January, but feel free to go back even further. Just make sure there is a sizable list by the time you’re done. Also in this list, include people you hooked up with, even if you never went out on a formal date. These count too.
- When writing down the types of people you dated or hooked up with, make sure to add descriptors, but not intangible ones.
Stick to more basic information. My suggestion, go by race/ethnicity (i.e. white, black, Latino, Asian), age range (i.e. mid-20s, older, younger) profession (i.e. banker, ad exec, creative types), physical makeup (i.e. tall, short, medium height, chubby, skinny, fit). When you write down the places that you met these people, keep it general. You don’t need to know the exact name of the place where you met these people, just try to remember if it was at the club, at the gym, through mutual friends, etc.
- Circle all of the traits that repeat themselves and put an asterisks next to the locations that repeat themselves. Any trait or any location that repeats itself three times or more, write down that trait under a separate list titled, “MY TYPE”.
This, ladies and gentlemen is your type. The reason I put the number at three is because as we like to say in the magazine world, three of anything is usually a trend. If you can identify three of the same traits in three different people (i.e. all bankers) or you notice you’ve met three different people in three of the same type of location (i.e. the gym), you’ve got yourself a trend, folks.
Now that we have identified the trends in your dating life, here’s what we’re going to do with it in 2012.
- Swear it off for an indefinite amount of time. That “MY TYPE” list is officially retitled, “I’M NOT DATING THIS TYPE FOR A WHILE.”
In place of this type, you will now be dating a different type. Who is that type you may ask? Well, to figure this out, here’s what you do next.
- Create a new list.
This list will represent the types of people you have never dated but, always wanted to date.
- Like the other list, keep things basic.
Do not put abstract qualities you seek like “wit. Things like “wit” or “sensitivity” are not a type, they’re a character trait you can find in any person.
Here’s an example of how you should make this list: I’ve never dated redheads. I’ve never dated a chef. I’ve never dated a Japanese-American woman. All three types of women are women I am curious about dating, so my list would look like this.
- Redhead woman
- Japanese woman
- Female chef
Then I would title this list:
“THE ONLY TYPE I’M DATING FOR A WHILE.”
Make a promise to yourself that you will only date the type on this list. Here’s what you do:
- Don’t date anyone.
That’s right. If you don’t have any dates lined up with any of these types, oh well. You just don’t go out on any dates.
That’s the strategic part. You must let curiosity of the mind be your guide in implementing this strategy. I will only date a woman if she’s a redhead, she’s Japanese-American, or she’s a chef. Doesn’t have to be all three — though that would be awesome — just has to fit one of the criteria
Some people may think I’m saying, “Expand your options, be more open minded about who you date.” But the idea of expanding your options usually means letting the floodgates open and accepting damn near anything. I’m not saying that at all and I don’t agree with that.
What I’m saying here is come up with a list of types you actually do want to date, that possess qualities (albeit superficial ones) you’re curious about, and only date those types. You’re still expanding your options, but you’re not going into the dangerous territory of the undesirable. You still have to get with what gets you going and that’s important to remember.
In the meantime, you have to reject what you usually attract. Dating what you’re used to dating is only going to get in the way of what you want to date. Even though I am telling you to let your mind guide you and not your heart, I’m not naive enough to believe this is easy, and I know dating can be emotionally taxing, so,
- Clear your mind and heart of the people you usually put there.
Keep yourself fresh for these new types you’re curious about.
If you’re concerned the list of people you aspire to date is a little too lofty, just be more strategic about how you’re going to find these types. Open yourself up to going to different places to meet people, partaking in different activities, and implementing different methods. Of course this means if you have to, feel free to sign up for some online dating.
The purpose of Jozen’s Incredibly Fun and Exciting Dating Strategy is all in the name. I just want folks to have fun with their dating life. They say 2012 is our last year on Earth, and even though I don’t believe it, if it is, we have to have the time of our lives before we go out. Every person we meet is a passport into a world we didn’t know, so instead of going to the same types of people, and having the same types of conversations, eating at the same types of restaurants, let’s go for something different, something we’ve always wanted to try but never have made an effort to do so. Let’s have some fun with dating, let’s make it exciting.