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Google Is Now Hating On Me

January 11th, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments

I once read a theory from my friend Bomani Jones. I can’t find it, so I’m paraphrasing here, but it was something about how the end of our civilization will not come in the form of some meteorite striking the earth or an alien invasion. Instead, some terrorist is going to figure out a way to end Google, which will immediately take us back to a time when dial-up roamed the Earth.

As far as I’m concerned, that day can’t come soon enough. I used to love Google the way everyone else loves Google. I used to think Google was awesome because when girls who were into me did a search on my name, I didn’t look half bad.

Well that all changed today when I received an email from a girl I used to date. She was talking about a movie that came out not to long ago with a friend of hers and decided to google it. Below, is the screenshot she sent me of the results.

For those wondering exactly what you’re looking at, that small picture is of me. That’s right, me.

This is almost worse than the time a reader sent me an email saying they discovered my blog after searching, “Why men cheat.” Google ain’t nothing but some haters. I’m going back to my old Hotmail address and searching on Bing from now on.

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  • NessaLew

    I cry real tears for you homie.  That is just cruel and unusual.

  • guest

    Whether it’s good and or bad feelings, not everyone has the same feelings about you as others do. Keep in mind of your family and your close friends whom you trust who know you enough that you’re not what others think negative of you. From my point of view, you’re a very good writer, I may disagree to some of what you write, but that’s just my point of view. You can’t please everyone in this world. Only you know yourself better among all to know that you’re not what others claim who you are especially if it’s negative.

  • Smileyshante

    lmao this is hilarious

  • jay p.

    oddly enough, i just did a search for village voice and your pic popped up as well, kinda like in the screenshot.

  • maxfab

    That is fucking hilarious. 

  • NZM

    OH MAN! That is quite FUNNY! 


    Uhn huh… and you the one that had SO MUCH to say about chicks with Yahoo accounts.


  • Preach

    That’s Google’s New Social Search.  It’s showing you individualized results based on your Google plus and other profiles.

    It shows something completely different for everyone who searches “liar liar”.  My friend that does alot of writing about politicians shows up for me.

  • fixedwater

    LOL literally

  • Yesyesyall

    Wow it’s not that deep. It’s just a funny thing about google, not Jozen’s security with folks not liking him or his writing damn

  • Guest

    it wasn’t just directing it to him but to those who may feel insecure about Google, now that we know. Unfortunately it’s all part of the INTERNET, gotta be careful nowadays for all who’s surfing the internet. Just goes to show, you can’t TRUST alot of people nowadays. 

  • Guest

    it is obvious you are 1 among many people who canNOT be trusted based on your comment.

  • Syrita

    Gotta love how Google has become a personage that can both hate & be hated on! Jozen you keep me laughing, even if you ate a liar, liar…lol

  • Syrita


  • A2R

    omg. I actually LOL!