Google Is Now Hating On Me
I once read a theory from my friend Bomani Jones. I can’t find it, so I’m paraphrasing here, but it was something about how the end of our civilization will not come in the form of some meteorite striking the earth or an alien invasion. Instead, some terrorist is going to figure out a way to end Google, which will immediately take us back to a time when dial-up roamed the Earth.
As far as I’m concerned, that day can’t come soon enough. I used to love Google the way everyone else loves Google. I used to think Google was awesome because when girls who were into me did a search on my name, I didn’t look half bad.
Well that all changed today when I received an email from a girl I used to date. She was talking about a movie that came out not to long ago with a friend of hers and decided to google it. Below, is the screenshot she sent me of the results.
For those wondering exactly what you’re looking at, that small picture is of me. That’s right, me.
This is almost worse than the time a reader sent me an email saying they discovered my blog after searching, “Why men cheat.” Google ain’t nothing but some haters. I’m going back to my old Hotmail address and searching on Bing from now on.