How To Lose A Guy In A Couple Hours?
Date: March 5, 2012
Time: 11:20 am
Location: Starbucks/145 Street/Harlem, New York
I frequent several Starnucks throughout the week, listening to cliché soul music while procrastinating on my debut novel. Today, I decided on the Starbucks closest to my place.
I’m here right now, minding my business, in the midst of writing a brand new post for you all, when all of a sudden this happens:
There’s a guy sitting at a table nearby, and as he gets up to walk towards the back where the restrooms are, he puts down his business card on my table, information side down. Of course this is peculiar to me, and I don’t know why he would do such a thing because I haven’t been talking to anyone, I haven’t looked in his direction. I’ve been writing. Like I said, minding my business.
I turn the business card over anyway. On the card his cell number is circled, with the following words written above an arrow pointing to the circle:
Now the first question people probably want to know is, what does he do, maybe it was to discuss business? My answer is, it doesn’t really matter what he does. If this was about business, he would hand the card to me, introduce himself, and state his purpose. But he did nann one of those things. Who says “text me” about business? If I told a woman to text me about business, it would be because I’m a gigolo.
So we can all agree, this guy is trying to holler at me. Not the first time it’s happened to me. I’ve had guys hit on me before, but, usually these situations were in passing, and I was able to escape a situation without having say something like, “not interested” or “not interested because I’m straight.”
But this situation is nothing like those. I’m over here posted, trying to be productive for the duration of the day, but I might want to leave at some point. Meanwhile, he has just plugged his computer in to be charged, which lets you know it’s about to be a long day for him. So here’s where I need the help of my dear readers, specifically the female ones.
In the event I am ready to leave before he is, how do I reject him?
If this were a woman, I would be able to handle this situation easily. I’d probably take the card, then throw it away outside. I’m thinking about doing the same thing here, but we all know if I took the card dude’s hopes would go through the roof. I’m not trying to lead this guy on, risk running into him at this same Starbucks at a later date, and then have an awkward conversation in which I’m asked why I never texted him.
The other thing I could do is leave without taking the card. That would send a message loud and clear, but here’s what I worry about: What if he grabs my elbow and says, “You forgot something”? Now we’re fighting, in a Starbucks because anyone who grabs my elbow and thinks it’s okay would have a fight on their hand, but I digress…
The next option is to walk out of here, and on my way, simply put the card back on his table without saying a word. But is that rude? As interested as I’m not, I’m not rude. In the past, when I’ve been approached, I usually just say in a deadpan voice “Naw” then keep it moving. This dude didn’t do anything wrong, he just approached the wrong guy because I’m not going to text him, and his card will never see the inside of my pocket. Also, I feel like this move would also result in him trying to say something to me, and I’m not even trying to have a conversation about why I’m not interested.
I feel like women get approached this way all the time, and I must say, seeing as I am now in a dilemma similar to the one they go through constantly, I admire the guts they have to shut dudes down repeatedly. So ladies, what is a man to do? Please respond as to how you would handle a situation in which a guy you weren’t interested in dropped a card off at your table, without saying a word, and on the card were the words “Text Me.”?
Your responses are appreciated and please respond quickly. I’m not leaving here until someone helps guide the way.
When everything is resolved, I’ll update the post accordingly.
A couple hours went by and we were still sitting at our respective tables. I continued to avoid eye contact with him, but at one point, I made a crucial mistake.
When I’m thinking in the midst of writing, I have a tendency to fidget. Usually, I fidget with my phone, or my headphones, whatever is in arms reach. Well, today, as I’m deep in a rhythm with the things I’m working on, I notice I’m fidgeting with the card he left on the table. Talk about awkward! Luckily this happened while the guy was at the counter placing an order, so he didn’t notice. I put the card back in the same spot, and focused back on my work, both hands on the keyboard the entire time. I said to myself, “Jozen, today you gonna learn not to fidget.”
Some more time goes by, and I’m starving. I want to leave, and I decide if I have to leave and he’s still at his table, I’m going to put the card back down on his table, not say a word, and keep walking. But a few minutes go by and notice he’s starting to pack up, or at least I think that’s what he’s doing.
Can you all believe this guy put on his hoodie and his jacket only to stay where he was at for about 30 more minutes? Unbelievable.
Finally, the guy went on his way, and 20 minutes later, I took the card, stuffed it inside my empty Starbucks cup, and disposed of it as I made my way to the nearest Chipotle.
Thanks for the advice everyone.