What Happens When You’re In The Same Room As Tyra Banks?
All your life you said if ever you were lucky enough to just be in the same room as Tyra Banks, you would take your shot. That’s all you needed was proximity. When you used to have her poster up on the wall in your childhood bedroom, you would talk to the poster and say, “One day, Tyra. One day.” You meant it too, because you knew she always wanted just a regular guy. That’s what she would say in interviews over and over again, “I just want a regular, normal nice guy I can bring home to my Mom.” And you knew you would always be the epitome of normal: an everyday guy who woke up, worked, had a little fun, and took showers on a regular basis just like everyone else.
So the other night, you are at The Darby (a spot I highly recommend for food and drinks), sitting at the bar with one of your boys, enjoying a Manhattan. The place isn’t too crowded. As a matter of fact, it was a rather quiet night in what is currently one of New York City’s most popular eateries. The friend you are with, one of your best friends who has known you for 12 years, knows exactly how you feel about Tyra Banks. He remembers how one year you actually tried to do a paper on the significance of Tyra Banks’ Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover but because your professor was a hater, he didn’t allow it, but whatever. That’s all in the past.
You and your friend are having a conversation, about what, you can’t recall and it really doesn’t matter because all of a sudden in walks Tyra Banks. Your friend sees her first, hits you on the shoulder, and says, “Tyra Banks, Tyra Banks, Tyra Banks, dude Tyra Banks!” Before you even can turn around you smell the beauty and then as your head turns, she’s walking right past you, headed straight to a table with some guy we’re just going to name Whatever aka Non Factor.
Now was your chance. Here it was, the moment you had been waiting for your whole life. Tyra Banks sitting at a table approximately 15 steps away from you. Even with Non Factor sitting next to her, if you would be so bold, you could approach the table politely and say hello, and what a big fan of hers you are and that you used to have her posters all up on your wall. You could tell her that she looks just as beautiful in real life as she does in pictures and on television. You could tell her all the things you’ve ever wanted to tell her like how you think Chris Webber is an idiot and no one could love her like you could love her.
But instead, you do the exact opposite. You do nothing. Absolutely nothing. We can count the effort you made to try and not stare at Tyra Banks for an inordinate amount of time, but we won’t. You froze up and tried not to drool on yourself and by the time you came to your senses, and realized you missed the opportunity of a lifetime, Tyra Banks, the woman you’ve loved from afar ever since you knew what love was, was gone.