One of my favorite bits by Martin Lawrence is this joke he does about his girl wearing what he calls a “f*ck him dress.”* For those who don’t know what the “f*ck him dress” is, it’s basically the most provocative, edgiest, borderline-inappropriate dress in their wardrobe. Put another way, it’s the dress a woman puts on when she’s mad at her man. When she slips it on, it’s her way of saying “f*ck him.”
My first encounter with the “f*ck him dress” came in the midst of one of the worst arguments between an ex and I. To make up for some transgressions we don’t need to get into right now, I treated my ex to a day at the spa (No, that’s not how I usually apologize. Yes it was that bad.) Since I had some flowers to give her too, I told her to meet me at the spa. When she showed up, it was in a short, pink number I never saw before. The dress was so damn eye-catching I actually saw people looking at her before I saw her myself. She was making every single head turn and not in a “what is she wearing” type of way, but more so a “why is she walking alone” type of way. Keep in mind, this was in the middle of like a Thursday afternoon.