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Why She Should Never Let Her Man Fight In Front of Her

If there is one thing I believe every woman wants in a man, it’s an ability to make her feel safe.

We don’t have to be the most towering or hulking figure, nor do we have to be the most decorated martial artist or a former Navy seal. I mean, those things would definitely work in our favor and make our woman feels like she lucked up on some 2-for-1 deal with a boyfriend and a bodyguard, but what’s more important is perception. She just wants us to make her feel safer when we’re around.

As I get older, I’ve become more and more hip to this idea.

No one is more aware of the large presence I don’t impose on others than I. Here’s what I’m coming with.

Height: 6’0
Weight: 175
Complexion: Light
Default face: Happy
Occupation: Writer
Hobbies: Watching Top Chef
Secret Talent: Knows how to play “Endless Love” on the piano

Now tell me, does any of that sound like a wrestler?

I have a 1-0 record in street fights, but I’m pretty sure records from middle school were exempt when I turned 18. I mean, I did go to a public middle school, so maybe I get points for street cred, but still, who am I kidding?

I’m not a fighter, but women continue to date me because not being a fighter is not the same as being willing to fight. I place a high value on making a woman feel safe. I’m like Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. My woman knows before I let anything happen to her, I will let something happen to me.

Women appreciate men who have this attitude, but I always tell them don’t mistake a man’s willingness to make his woman feel safe for his ability to do so; and if she can ever stop her man from fighting in front of her, she should do so at all cost.

I know it may sound backwards. I’m not saying my woman needs to protect him the way a man needs to protect her. What I am saying is, she should not demand her man ever get physical with another man in front of her.

Of course, some men will be so determined to defend their woman or their pride, their woman won’t be able to do anything to stop him. If he wants to fight the fair one in front of his woman, it’s on him. One time, I saw a man charge after another man after his woman begged him not to do it. He did it anyway and was knocked down to the floor with one punch. His woman came running over, picked him up, and escorted him out. The whole time saying, “What did I tell you? What did I tell you?” It was embarrassing to watch.

A guy like him deserves whatever embarrassment that comes his way. His woman told him not to fight the guy, he did it anyway, and he ended up leaving with a bloody face and one arm draped over his woman’s shoulders.

But his woman did what every woman should do: Everything she can to prevent seeing her man get into an altercation.

Before a woman allows her man to fight in front of her, whether it’s for some boneheaded reason or a noble one like her honor, she needs to ask herself an important question:

How would she feel if her man loses?

Whenever I talk to women and they say a man should have no problems fighting for his girlfriend, I always ask them this question. Usually their response is one of bewilderment, and that’s because I don’t think any woman ever considers how she would feel if her man lost a fight in front of her. Even more important, I don’t think a woman considers the fact that she would probably feel differently about him and when I say differently I mean, not as good as she did before. That’s because the perception of his security has now diminished if it hasn’t vanished completely.

Fighting as adults carries some real life consequences win or lose. Should the woman’s man win the fight, he runs the risk of getting locked up and charges pressed against him. These are damages she will not have to endure herself. Maybe she might put up his bail money to get him out of holding, put something on his attorney fees should she be able to afford it, but it’s still him who has a blemish on a record all because she wanted to see her man play superhero.

Should the man lose a fight, most women have admitted to me, they would not look at him the same way they did before. So I ask, why even let things get to that boiling point?

If there is a real threat being made to my woman, I would not think twice about coming to her rescue and doing everything I could to keep her safe. It is completely reasonable for any woman to want a man to do such a thing for her. What is unreasonable is expecting or even demanding a man fight another man who committed some verbal slight or made an unwelcome cat call. If a woman expects her man to go have some words with the guy who obviously has no sense whatsoever, she needs to understand, the guy with no sense may not feel like talking to her man and what that means.

No woman should want to see her man get in a fight in front of her, because if he loses the fight, she loses the perception he could keep her safe, and when she loses that perception, he will lose her.

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  • Damien Lemon

    This is dope.

  • Shante Boyd

    That would be hella awkward, like what can you say…here’s a 6 session appointment at your local boxing facility. Eh no.

  • Dearabi

    i agree. one thing that always hits a nerve with me is when a woman provokes a fight between her man and someone else over something so petty, and unnecessary, and then when they’re about to fight – she pulls a “noooo, please stop. don’t fight,” when she’s the reason it started to begin with!

  • Drea

    I do not care to see grown folks fighting – period.  People are free to say what they want.  I do want to feel safe with my man but I do not need him to get into a fight with someone to make me feel that way.  Seems immature.