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Five Other Ways You’re Not Faithful To Me

You think being unfaithful can only happen when you either sleep with someone else or you develop feelings for someone else.

You’re wrong.

There’s all sorts of ways you’re unfaithful and you don’t even know it, so allow me to break it down for you.

You went to our favorite restaurant without me to order that soup we both love and you didn’t even tell me.

I was out of town and you watched our favorite show by yourself, then you proceeded to tweet about it in real time knowing good and well I stalk your Twitter.

I sent you a link to a funny post and you told me you received the same link from someone else earlier that day.

I found another toy, one you never told me about.

You watch adult films on the Internet and none of those people look like me.

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  • LinZ

    interesting…

  • Erica

    I agree with all of this!!

  • MarriedChick

    Um.  Are you serious right now?  I’m a married woman who enjoys reading your blog–you’ve got great talent and I look forward to the things to come for you! But did you write this on the train between your first and last stop?  Or did a needy teenage girl hack into your account?  It’s a restaurant: the soup will be there. Live tweeting definitely deserves some trash talk, although it’s not an alternative form of cheating.  Perhaps the response to the funny email wasn’t necessary, but cheating?  You should be glad for the toys because it’ll give you a break.  And as far as none of the guys looking like you on the porn…really?  LOL  awww.  

  • Shay

    Ummm…I’m pretty sure he’s joking lol

  • Ladyerin

    LOL!!!

  • Shelliza

    Haha! Now this is funny!! And that’s right…if you’re out of town, no soup for you!! lol

  • http://twitter.com/goalawal Flow

    LOL at MarriedChick… #Damn Take a freaking breather.

  • Guest

    hahahaha!!!! 

  • 30thoughts

    Cute!

  • http://chocolatemomrants.blogspot.com/ Chocolate Mom

    *scratching head*

  • MarriedChick

     Ok my bad for being slow LOL!

  • Fawn Renee

    Sounds like the stuff I say, lol

  • Ceej

    Ha. Haha. Sounds dumb when you write it out. In my relationship,  i never say it to him… but i damn sure feel it! But  you know what? So does he. A lil twinge of jealousy doesn’t hurt. It’s healthy to have those moments where you go: “Aww man! You did (insert action here) without me?!?!” It makes the other person feel needed and it’s also nice to have that thing you guys do together. At least I think so. I mean… it’s much better than: “Gosh, I wish you would go and be without me. You’re boring me. We always do (insert same action here) together.”

    Just my thoughts.
    But lol on the “cheating”. I truly think you are being funny right now and not serious so… cute post.

  • http://thatswhattsaiddotcom.com/ ThisIsTee1

    Bwahaha. #1 and #2 sound JUST like me….LOL… That sort of “cheating” usually warrants a frog to the arm (y’all remember punching people and giving them frogs…right? RIGHT?! oh…was that just me? LOL…)

  • Thank Q

    When I first read this, I thought it was a joke.  But, then I thought about it and realized that I don’t do these things to The Mrs.  I won’t go to our favorite restaurant without her.  Even if co-workers suggest it, I’ll suggest something else.  And I definitely don’t watch “our” show without her.  I guess your list is pretty accurate.