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About The Importance of Being Able To Pick Up Your Woman

Men, we need to have a discussion about an important topic: The ability to pick up your woman.

I don’t know if any of you guys have given this much thought, but if you never have, now would probably be a good time to start. Here are two facts about women that may or may not be uncomfortable for you to read.

1) Every woman wants a man who can pick her up.
2) If you can’t pick your woman up, she will find someone who can.

Now you probably think this means your woman will leave you for someone who can pick her up. That is not what I’m saying at all. She could very well stay with you, never leave, but she will have another guy who is around, and she calls occasionally just to get picked up, not in a car, but with his bare arms.

People ask me all the time, “What inspired you to get in shape?” If I feel like answering honestly, I tell them vanity and pride. If I feel like getting specific I tell them about how one day I’m going to get married, and my bride-to-be is probably going to have a bachelorette party. At this bachelorette party, one of her fast a** friends is probably going to hire some male strippers. These male strippers will probably have well-defined bodies. At the moment when that high-school dropout decides to take his shirt off, I just want my fiancé to be able to say, “I have that at home.”

The other reason I was inspired to get into shape is because I knew I didn’t want to be one of those guys who can’t pick up their woman. I don’t know if I told my trainer this was one of my fitness goals, but I knew in the back of my mind that it was.

Those who met me know I’m not a small guy. I have good height (6’0 in the mornings), a good weight (between 170-175 lbs, down from an out-of-shape 206), and when I wear clothes that fit, I look neither skinny nor overweight. But here’s the thing about the women I like: Most of them come close to my height, some of them come close to my weight, and yes, on occasion, weigh more than me (I don’t know that for a fact because I’m not an idiot who asks my woman how much she weighs, but I’m good at guessing these sorts of things.)

If the woman I’m dating is not tall, she’s probably short and thick. If a woman I’m dating is not thick, she’s probably tall. When people ask me what type of women I like I can basically say, I like the type of women who like guys that play professional sports.

I don’t play professional sports.

This is an apt description because most women I’ve dated tell me how I’m so much shorter than the last guy they dated, like I care about making history in this way. But I get it and I don’t mind, you know why? Because my size does not denote my strength.

Most women don’t look at me and say, “Jozen looks like he can pick me up.” I’m completely okay with this; it makes it all that much more impressive when I put them over my shoulder and walk them up two flights of stairs just for the hell of it. I’m not the biggest guy in the club, but I’ll be damned if I’m also not the guy who can’t pick up a woman no matter her weight. I don’t look at a woman and think, “How heavy is she?” I think, “How light is she?” I don’t need to date a small woman to pick up a woman. I should be able to pick up every woman I date. Period. And if I can’t, guess what? New workout goal.

Picking up your woman is a rights of passage for all men. I’m sure you take care of all your woman’s needs in the bedroom. Bravo, sir. But if you’re not picking her up, I’m telling you, there’s always going to be another guy in this world who has an advantage over you. Tyra Banks used to date Chris Webber. That guy has more money than me and can do things I can’t do like dunk a basketball. But if I ever got the privilege to get with Tyra Banks guess what I’m going to do with her that Chris Webber might’ve done? That’s right, pick Tyra Banks up like she’s an empty plate.

If you don’t believe women love (and I do mean love) to be picked up, the next time you’re out with your girl walking somewhere in public do the following:

Either pick her up over your shoulder or offer up a piggyback ride. Do this in an area where there are a lot of people out. Whichever method she chooses, walk her at least one block, as you’re doing that look and listen closely to all the bystanders in view. That look you see in other women’s eyes is lust. That sound you hear is other men sucking their teeth and hating on you for being a show off. When you get to the end of the block, put your woman down, make sure you’re not breathing that hard (in through your nose, out through your mouth) and just stare straight ahead, don’t even look at your woman, just feel her eyes on you.

Yesterday, when I was going on a Twitter diatribe about this very topic, a guy hit me and said, “Dude, I’m 5’6, I’m not picking up anyone.” If you’re reading this post dude, do yourself a favor, think positively.

The risk for not being able to pick your woman up is too high to just give up before you even pursue such a goal.

Just because you’re not the size of a football player or your woman is not that much smaller than you, neither of these circumstances should be an excuse. Go to the gym or start working out at home, and don’t worry about the arms, focus on the legs and back, because really that’s what lifting anything is all about, legs and back strength. Get a punching bag, not to punch, but to lift and toss around until it feels like a paperweight. Then, get your woman, and one night, while you two are watching television on the couch in the living room, tell her it’s time for bed. Get up and when she gets up, shock her and just put her over your shoulder to take her to bed. Be prepared for everything that happens after that. Thank me in the morning.

One more time for emphasis, WOMEN WANT A MAN WHO CAN PICK THEM UP. Don’t believe me at your own risk, but come back to this post tomorrow and watch how many women have left comments saying, “Jozen is right.”

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  • Guest

    yep, jozen is right.

  • Alexandria Gordon


  • Zaki

    Jozen is right. I want to feel like a waif in his manly arms so definitely no wobbling during or huffing and puffing post the pick up. This is of utmost importance

  • Starsha Valentine

    This is AMAZING…I’m not even sure what else to say because it might be innappropriate but I concur sir …I CONCUR…

  • RAD

    I’m 6’3″ and when a guy 1st picked me up I was surprised, elated, and thrilled. Guys, heed Jozen’s command and ye shall inherit the kingdom of your woman !!!!

  • guest

    agreed, i want to be ‘rescued’ and feel protected.

  • Guest

    I dated a guy, just a few inches taller than me at 5’8″ and only a mere 10lbs heavier than me…and he picked me up on the regular. Got me every time!

  • Therealsevin

    oK…Here’s the truth. THIS is one of the first date/ice breaker questions I ask a guy lol “Can you pick me up?” And here’s why… 1) I think it’s sexy that you are strong 2) It makes girls giggle 3) Other girls DO look with lust knowing that he’s a barbarian that can carry you off to the bedroom and ravish us and 4… #4 is Important…  If the building goes up in flames, I need to know that you can pick up 165lbs and run my fatass out the building if I pull a Becky and fall to the ground. Because although I want a man that will pray for me, I don’t want you outside in the car praying that I made it out safely because you couldn’t pick me up… Thanks Jozen!!

    And yes “Jozen is Right”.

  • candace

    2 things my man has to be able to do: finish the food on his plate & pick me up!

  • JP Fairfield

    Nope… I don’t like being picked up.  If my man picks me up without warning (heck sometimes with warning), he’s gonna get a face full of knees.  I have too many experiences where people thought just because I’m short it gives them full rights to pikc me up whether I want them to or not.  

    Now, I expect my future man to be able to carry heavy packages or furniture easier than I would.  If he’s struggling more than I am to move a desk.. then I’m gonna be side-eyeing.

  • chellzbellz

    CO-SIGN!!!!!!! It’s crazy, I was just watching CrazyStupidLove last night and one of the main characters says, his big move is doing the Dirty Dancing Lift with any girl that he wants to bed. “It works every time!” That scene was sooo real!

  • kemia james

    I’ve yet to have any boyfriend who has even taken the time to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder or even ask and I’m standing at 5’4 & a quarter. I need to put this on the list of requirements when dating now, because just reading this post was a turn on period. Jozen is beyond right. Thanks for the tip lol 🙂 

  • MKS

    i never comment on relationship blogs, but this right here is some gospel



  • Alexdoc18

    I’m 6’0 and I am still waiting on a guy to pick me up. As a tall women, it is a desire to feel small, a guy picking me up is one way to get there.

  • Renaehope2001

    Very good read. Very good. I will definitely be sharing.

  • Janelle

    Jozen is right. Not a game. Airborne in the way to go. Set your sights on new heights 😉 

  • Guest

    Jozen u hit it on the nail. I just lost 55 pounds. Why?? I want to be carried everywhere.I used to date big guys on purpose. The defining moment came when my heart tossed like a rag doll and carried me in his living room. Love it!!

  • Desmonae Perry

    Jozen, you are right! As someone who is 5’9.5″ and has curves in all the right places, I expect the man I am seeing to not only be strong enough mentally, but be strong enough physically. In fact, I often ask early in the relationship if he can pick me up. It’s a turn on!

  • Ga_in_dc

    He’s right!! I’m 6’0 and most men that I have dated are shorter than me, but were built up top for that reason. And my oh my, one could pick me up and flip me upside down all in one movement…and I dont like to go upside down, dont even like roller coasters.

  • myrna orvam an amazonian woman myself..there is something primal about a man being able to pick me up. One of my male colleagues ( no side eye here please) recently did that to me to prove a point and my oh my…..fanning myself…it was quite the experience.

  • NoUsernameGiven

    I guess I’m the only woman who does not like to be  picked up…guys do it all the time and it annoys me. 

  • ncj

    Jozen is right.  🙂

  • Jilly8787

    Haha I watched that movie late last night too!!!

  • Jilly8787

    Yeee, I am sharing because Jozen, you are right.

  • Lisa

    Um yes!!! 100% RIGHT!!!!!!!!! 

  • LL

    I approve this message!

  • Guest

    “Jozen is right.” 

  • Alisha

    Definitely a turn-on. I’m not a big girl, so it shouldn’t be an issue, nor do I look at it like proof that he’s big and strong. But just do it. lol

  • Guest

    i think petite people who EVERYONE can pick up are the exception to the rule. 
    they’ve already been abused in this regard

  • NZM

    Good post, so true…Jozen keeps telling all the secrets!

  • Joan

    Yep, Jozen is right. I absolutely agree. Good post Jozen!

  • Pha

    So true!

  • DLJ

    I agree 100%!! My boyfriend pick me up last night and it was definitely a turn on. Great post!

  • Guest Believer

    very true. most exits to the bedroom start with a great pick-up over the shoulder or front piggy…

  • nlj

    So I went through a phase where I was giving “everyone a chance” and ended up on a date with a little.  Seriously.  He was 4’11”.  GREAT personality (obvi, to compensate for his lack of height) but he did not make my vagina sing.  Why? Because I felt if we were ever in danger, I would have to pick HIM up and run.  I’m 5’6″.  There was no second date and I no longer give “everyone a chance.” 

    Jozen is right.

  • Cotilyabrown

    Jozen is right!!! I had this discussion with my now ex-boyfriend before. I am tall and slim, and no woman wants to feel or hear her man tell her she is too heavy. Good job Jozen!!!

  • Shan

    I am small…and I don’t nearly get picked up as much as I would like to be.  It’s hot!  This blog speaks truth.

  • Ebonymsimpson

    LOL, i feel u on that!

  • Khepheradivine

    Yes! My last totally unexpected sexcapade was prefaced with dude picking me up sitting me on the counter, picking me up again to hem me up on the wall and picking me up one last time, throwing me over his shoulder and hauling me over to the bedroom.

  • myrna orvam

    LOL at “make my vagina sing” …

  • Gem

    Right Right Right!

  • Rican

    I’m 5’8″ and my ex is 5’9″ and I weigh about 20lbs heavier than him. One day he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder with no struggle at all. It was one of the sexiest things he’s ever done. I tell ppl all the time big don’t mean strong and small don’t mean weak. He showed me that. 

  • Guest

    yuuuup. #truth 

  • Tay

     Hilarious and true!

  • Doesn’t Matter

    True dat!

  • Kim

    My boyfriend is a 5’9, 150 pound couch potato. I’m nearing 5’10 and about 140, but he can pick me up like it’s nothing. It can’t be easy, but it’s sexy.

  • Steph

    Every now and again I get out of line with my husband…popping off at the mouth, bothering him on purpose, etc. When he has had enough, he picks me up, takes a walk around the house and throws me on the bed. No more problems does he have. I am quiet, back in order, and ready and willing to do whatever he likes. A good man-handling goes a long (sexy) way.

  • HMduuuuuuh

    i literally could not care less about a man picking me up. 

  • Nicolejsmith83

    You have a very good point. I do want a man to pick me upand I want him to swing me around and run with me on his back. But I have to lose 150lbs first.