Every Man Needs A Good Wing Woman, I Need Several
When it comes to the conversation about whether or not men and women can be friends, there are approximately one thousand reasons why it’s not possible and one thousand reasons why it is.
But let us be real here: Aren’t we tired of entertaining the question as adults? I mean, damn. You’re a grown human being. Why can’t you make friends? Is it the lack of a sand box and recess? Probably not. I’m pretty sure it’s you and your social ineptitude and inability to see beyond the person’s anatomy. A woman thinks if their friend has a p*nis, he’s bound to ask her to touch it. A man thinks since their friend gets a visit from Mother Nature every month, she’s emotionally unstable and at some point, that will reveal itself toward him.
We just need to end all of that. We need to stop asking whether or not we can and start asking a better question: How can men and women be friends with one another?
There are simple answers to this question. For example: One way a woman can keep a man as her friend is if she never ever lets him sleep with her. Sorry buddy. While it’s true that you can still be friends with someone you’ve slept with, it is even more true that you are friends and ONLY friends with someone you haven’t. You’re like, closer to cousins than actual friends because actual friends of the opposite sex, well, they do, every now and then sleep together, sometimes.
Yeah, you read that last line right. Friends of the opposite sex can and will sometimes sleep together. And you know what’s crazy? They’ll still be friends! For those who don’t believe it’s true, perhaps you’ve just done a horrible job of choosing your friends.
And this is how (HOW!) some people actually become friends with a member of the opposite sex. They choose wisely and for good reasons. We put people on a value system. The most important questions we need to ask ourselves when we’re falling into friendship with someone are as follows:
What does this potential friend offer me that is unique to them?
What am I wiling to offer them in return?
Notice in the first question the phrase “unique to them.” That is key because as soon as you start thinking about the person of the opposite sex in that way, you eliminate a lot of things you’re typically attracted to. So if you’re a man about to be friends with a woman but you’re still on the fence about staying in that friend zone, stop thinking about her breasts! EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW HAS BREASTS (albeit in different sizes and firmness) so therefore that is not unique to them. Your potential woman friend has to come to the table with more than just cups but you have to also ask her to come with more than just cups (pun so intended).
I have great male friends, I can’t take them with me everywhere I go. Sometimes in place of them, I take a woman with me, and I can’t take the same woman with me everywhere. There are some women who are like, jazz friends, and I’ll hit them up to see if they want to go to a jazz show because I know they like it. There are other friends who are good workout partners and I’ll hit them up when I want to do some fitness activity. With some women, we are friends mostly online and other women we are friends mostly in real life. But every one of these women who are in my life bring value to my life in their own unique way, so we share in something that is deeper than, well, sex.
In return, and to answer the second question, I try to be there for them in some way or another. Some of my women friends need to talk to me for professional reasons and some for personal reasons. I don’t ever trivialize their request by saying we don’t know each other in a certain capacity or haven’t known each other long enough for me to give quality advice. Maybe they don’t want advice. Maybe they just want someone to listen to them. So I’ll do that instead. Whatever it is they want, I do my best to provide it because I know the value they bring in my life and I want to reciprocate that.
(A great example of this is shown in a recent article my friend of 10 years, Leigh, wrote about me. I’ll spare you a setup, you can click here and read it.)
Now what is the point of me saying all this? I’m glad you asked that question.
I need even more female friends, and, for a specific reason. I need more women to be my wing women not only here in New York City where I live in real life, but I’ll also take more online female friends as well.
This is very important.
The reason I need more women in my life is because I need more men for my dating section at The New York Post. I need women to help me find men who live in New York City, who are over 21, single, and open to go on ONE date that gets published in a newspaper, specifically The New York Post. We don’t publish last names so their identities are pretty safe.
Ladies who are reading this and thinking, “Well, I know guys who will do that.” Not so fast. I don’t need you to just connect me with the guys you know. As I’ve learned in this job, quality recruitment is going beyond your social comfort levels and actually talking with and to people you don’t regularly hang out with (but who are perfectly normal). So not only would I need women who know men already but know how to meet men in a platonic way and actually get them out on a date with someone other than themselves.
This makes life easier for me. When I go out, it’s very easy for me to talk to women about what I do and convince them or one of their friends to participate. What isn’t so easy is meeting men for obvious reasons. Most straight men are going to have an easier time talking to and with a woman than another straight man they don’t know, i.e. me.
Of course, the logical question is for women who do this nice thing for me, how do the men they recruit get a hold of me? Great question, here’s my email address:
That’s how they get a hold of me and I will explain to them how everything works. I don’t want any of you ladies having to go into deep detail about what I do, besides, men probably don’t want to hear that. Stick to the key points:
It’s a FREE blind date.
You know a guy who can give you something to do that doesn’t require much effort or money.
Here’s his email address (email@example.com)
Your ability to do this will not solely be based on getting guys to agree with you in person. As we all know, in the heat of the moment we say a lot of things we mean for about 10 minutes, then when the moment passes, we take it all back. Therefore I’m basing this off an actual success rate, which means, the guys you recruit actually have to participate fully in The Meet Market.
Should you be successful, my future potential woman friend/wing woman, here is what you win.
A drink on me in real life.
What do you want from me? Something more> I have nothing more to offer. Okay? I need you to dig deep and want to do this primarily out of the kindness of your heart and because, I don’t know, you like me, this blog, and all that other jazz. But if you need incentive, your next drink, should I be anywhere near where you are, is on me. If that isn’t incentive enough, I can also offer up my culinary skills. In other words, I will cook for you. And if you don’t believe I cook, you OBVIOUSLY don’t follow me on Instagram.
Seriously, go look, over here: Gramfeed.com/jozenc.
See? I be cooking.
So yeah, if you live in NYC and you successfully get me a male participant for my dating column, I will cook anything you want. I can make it up myself or you can send me a recipe you’re too lazy (or scared) to cook for yourself and I will cook it for you.
I’m serious, women.
And you can do this remotely. You don’t have to live in NYC. If you’re on one of those dating sites and you meet men in NYC on these dating sites, but you’re not interested in them, SEND THEM TO ME! Seriously. Think of online dating sites as virtual clubs. Meet someone in the club that you think is cool but you’re not interested in taking them home? Send them to me, I’ll find someone with whom they can go home. Again, they just have to be over 21, live in NYC, and single. That’s it.
So yeah ladies, want to be my friend? Find me some NYC guys and I’ll cook for you and buy you a drink or even several. I think this is a fair deal. Don’t you?
*One more time for emphasis: I so mean every word of this post, so hit me with potential guys like asap or if you want to arrange a real life meet-up where you can actually be my wing woman, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you yourself are interested in signing up for Meet Market, or know someone who is and want to sign them up, here’s a link to do that.
Please? Thank you.