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Archive for October, 2012

Her Look, Her Business, My Opinion

October 18th, 2012 5 comments

This past weekend, I had the privilege of participating in a panel discussion hosted by the Curly Girl Collective, an organization that, in their words, “strives to create innovative experiences that foster acceptance and celebration of curls, kinks and everything in between.” The discussion, which took place in Brooklyn at Free Candy, was entitled, “Mane Attraction: His Voice, Her Hair.” For those scratching their heads wondering what that means, in simpler terms, I was one of three guys, along with three women, talking about women’s hair, giving my thoughts on what I like and don’t like, and reasons why.

In the days leading up to the event, I received questions from friends and colleagues skeptical about not only the discussion, but my participation in it. Anytime you invite a man to speak on a woman’s issue, especially one as personal and as cosmetic as hair, people will look at him like he walked into the ladies restroom. To be honest, I had no idea what I was going to be asked or what I was going to say. The only reason I agreed is because friends of mine were behind the event, and I always try to support my friends, and hey, if anyone thinks I’m articulate and smart enough to be on their panel, I have no problem saying yes (for more info on how to book me at your panel discussion email: info@untiligetmarried.com). So when people asked me what was my purpose on the panel, I said I didn’t quite know but if Chris Rock can make a whole documentary on women’s hair, I can participate in an hour-long discussion about it.

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Categories: Appearances Tags:

The Evolution of Talks With Mom (Ms. Rita, to you) About Women In My Life

October 11th, 2012 1 comment

The way Mom met a girlfriend of mine for the first time was nothing like we see on sitcoms, though it did involve a sitcom.

I was in high school, and my girlfriend and I were at my house, no adult supervision, just us, sitting there watching “Saved By The Bell” on the couch like we owned the place. I promise, we weren’t doing anything, because you don’t make out on family furniture and you don’t make out during “Saved By The Bell.” Those aren’t rules, they’re laws, but I digress…

Mom came home from work earlier than I expected. She walked into the living room, saw us sitting on the couch and politely said, “Hello” which shocked me because I could’ve sworn she was going to say, “Do you pay bills in this place? I’m just wondering cause you’re acting like it by bringing this fast ass girl over here to my house and sitting on the couch with her like it’s okay. Boy, if you don’t…” But Mom played nice. I introduced the two of them, and soon after took my girlfriend back home. Maybe Mom was in a good mood that day, because I could have sworn when I came back home, she was going to be hiding in a closet and pounce on me at any moment, swinging a belt.

But Mom was in the kitchen when I walked back in the house, and only said, “You know you’re not supposed to have company over when I’m not here, especially a girl.” I told her I understood and it wouldn’t happen again, and we both agreed that meant it would happen again only I would know better not to get caught.

That was a sign, Mom was never going to be unreasonable about her son and his relationship with women.

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Categories: Family, women Tags:

Quality Quantity And Why Men Are Lonely

October 5th, 2012 8 comments

I’m beginning to hate guys, on behalf of women everywhere.

I don’t know if it’s NYC or it’s everywhere in this country, but for all the complaining we do about women and their inflated sense of self-entitlement, my job as a dating reporter for The New York Post has shown me they’re not the only ones.

If we’re talking about the odds, there’s no question, they’re in favor of guys everywhere. But just because men are playing with house money doesn’t mean they know how to play, and most guys, whether they care to admit it or not, are breaking even and it drives me crazy. Because they act like they got it, and they do have it, but they’re not doing anything with it.

My job is to set people up on blind dates. Every week a person gets to choose to go out on one date who they select from three choices I give them. Each week I have to alternate between a woman getting to choose one of three guys, and a man choosing from one of three gals. For the most part things go smoothly, but the times I have run into a problem is when I put the ball in the man’s court. The specific problem has been, the guys who do the choosing get too choosy. They develop a God complex, and everytime it happens I want to remind them of the following:

It’s just one date.
You signed up for this experience for a reason.
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
The woman might not like you, so you’re not the only one taking a risk. 

I keep telling women, men are lonely too. I know that seems hard to believe, but believe me when I say a lot of men are sitting at home, playing video games, messing around on the Internet, or some other mundane activity, all in an effort to fill up their solitude. The majority of guys will say that’s how they want it to be, just them their right or left hand, some lubricant, Internet p0rn, XBox360, and a good book, you know, for balance.

The majority of that majority is lying.

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Categories: guys Tags:

Dude, Help Her Move

October 2nd, 2012 5 comments

My ex and I decided to throw a Hail Mary pass in one last effort to save our relationship from its nadir. Here was the strategy:

She would move out and get a place of her own.

Yeah, I know. Like most moves of desperation, it wasn’t smart, and too much, too late; a fact we knew, but didn’t want to admit. Even worse, it was one of those decisions that was mutually agreed upon initially, but no sooner was one box packed did we start pointing fingers at one another as to whose idea it was.

I could’ve sworn it was hers and so, the last thing I wanted to do was help her move her things out of my apartment. When in the history of cohabitation did one person’s moving out lead them back to the place from which they left? I knew it was a rare occurrence, and up until that point, nothing about our relationship defied odds. We were, like most couples who shack up before marriage, going to end up not getting married, in spite of the fact that was the plan all along. The only thing more bothersome than the massive weight our impending fate had on my mind was the heavy suitcases I had to lift to her place.

But I carried them anyway, and I made several trips with her to Ikea as well. The reason why? Even though I knew we weren’t going to make it, I wasn’t ready to give up completely and I knew even if helping her move wasn’t going to make everything better, NOT helping her move would have made everything worse.

Now I don’t know if by this time my ex was talking to another guy or not. I didn’t care to ask, but I acted on the assumption that she did. And I thought, There is no way in hell I am letting whatever random simp she has playing the friend role swoop in on my relationship vis a vis with the old, “I can help you move your things” move. Had I not helped her move, that is exactly what would happen, and frankly, that would be completely fair, whether or not we were still technically together.

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Categories: game Tags: