Quality Quantity And Why Men Are Lonely
I’m beginning to hate guys, on behalf of women everywhere.
I don’t know if it’s NYC or it’s everywhere in this country, but for all the complaining we do about women and their inflated sense of self-entitlement, my job as a dating reporter for The New York Post has shown me they’re not the only ones.
If we’re talking about the odds, there’s no question, they’re in favor of guys everywhere. But just because men are playing with house money doesn’t mean they know how to play, and most guys, whether they care to admit it or not, are breaking even and it drives me crazy. Because they act like they got it, and they do have it, but they’re not doing anything with it.
My job is to set people up on blind dates. Every week a person gets to choose to go out on one date who they select from three choices I give them. Each week I have to alternate between a woman getting to choose one of three guys, and a man choosing from one of three gals. For the most part things go smoothly, but the times I have run into a problem is when I put the ball in the man’s court. The specific problem has been, the guys who do the choosing get too choosy. They develop a God complex, and everytime it happens I want to remind them of the following:
It’s just one date.
You signed up for this experience for a reason.
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
The woman might not like you, so you’re not the only one taking a risk.
I keep telling women, men are lonely too. I know that seems hard to believe, but believe me when I say a lot of men are sitting at home, playing video games, messing around on the Internet, or some other mundane activity, all in an effort to fill up their solitude. The majority of guys will say that’s how they want it to be, just them their right or left hand, some lubricant, Internet p0rn, XBox360, and a good book, you know, for balance.
The majority of that majority is lying.
Some men don’t realize, the odds are absolutely nothing if they don’t play them. The girl he wants so bad doesn’t want him and he thinks she’s crazy when the fact is, he’s probably just as crazy for thinking that. Meanwhile, he’s ignoring a perfectly good woman, who might not be as attractive as the one that he wants, but is certainly attractive enough for him. He just has a hard time admitting that. A man can’t say he has choices when he’s not choosing. He goes to Sizzler and when he finds out they ran out of the steak entree, he’s mad, KNOWING THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD BUFFET AND SALAD BAR HE CAN FILL UP ON.
Most men are alone because they can’t deal with rejection. So instead of asking out the girl they really want, they’ll sit at home trying to figure out how they can make themselves look better to her. They won’t spend their time with someone else, and that’s fine. That’s how it should be. But what bothers me is how some men will never go for the girl they really want because they can’t have her immediately and therefore they act like they can’t have her at all.
I operate on this principle: I can get any girl I want….eventually.
Whether it’s in the moment or months and years down the line, a woman will wake up to a man she’s been sleeping on. He doesn’t need to do anything but be himself and be patient. He just needs to be around, not up under her, just around, existing, working on himself for his benefit. Women like that. They think it’s sexy. But don’t just believe in yourself, believe in the hype; the hype that is there are plenty of fish in the sea.
If she knows he’s at home, thinking about her, guess what? She moves onto another thought. There is no point in spending time wondering about someone when you know exactly what they’re doing. So be busy, this includes going out with other women from time to time, being open to knowing a different person. Men who only hang out with women they want to sleep with don’t end up sleeping with a lot of women. I know some men like to say quantity over quality. I agree. But I don’t practice it by outright rejecting a woman’s company. I just don’t sleep with all of my company.
Part of that is because I don’t want to, but let me keep it real here: Part of that is also because they don’t want to sleep with me. The sooner a man realizes he is not God’s gift, just because he’s a man, the sooner he will become his own man. The sooner he becomes his own man, the sooner he will learn how to get a little something I like to call quality quantity.
Quality and quantity are not mutually exclusive. It’s not about only dating fine women, it’s about knowing there’s more fine women than we think. Some men are so picky about their type, they don’t realize they sound like a woman who can’t make up her mind at a sample sale.
I have been dumped, played for the fool, told no way too many times than I care to admit. But I have also been told yes way more times than I ever thought I would back when I was a pubescent kid in desperate need of braces. And that is because I play the odds, I actually go fishing. And even if I fish for sport, I know if I want to win, I have to fish like I’m doing it for food.
The man who thinks he’s entitled to a finer woman just because there’s too many women to be with an ugly one is missing something very crucial. The fine woman he wants has way more choices than him. If she chooses to be with someone else, over me, not only am I okay with that, I’m optimistic there’s a better choice somewhere in this world. This isn’t about settling, this is about looking for ways to expand who I can settle on.
My first choice isn’t always my best choice so I put my focus elsewhere. If she’s sleeping on me, it’s not her that needs to wake up, it’s me that has to wake up and realize, I have options too and the more I get out there, the more options I have, and the more options I have, the better off I will be.