A Man Wants To Know Why Women Cheat
When I decided to open the David Petraeus can of worms to break down the motives for why Petraeus may have cheated on his wife, I got more than my fair share of push back. Though I hate to divide attitudes along gender lines, the response to my last post was easily divided between men who mostly agreed with what I wrote and women pointing out all sorts of perceived flaws in my logic.
As I continue to tell people, I don’t need to be married like Petraeus was to understand why he cheated on his wife. I just need to have cheated once or twice in my life like he did, and for better or worse, I have, so everything I wrote in my post was informed by those experiences. But there are some things we all do that are accepted as somewhat universal truths. Not all men cheat, but all men who cheat probably do so for one of the reasons I listed in the previous post.
When a man breaks down his reasons for cheating on a woman, listen. Don’t push back, don’t say his reasons or motives were wrong. Even he knows that. The reasons aren’t excuses they’re, well, reasons. And instead of being the first to throw a flag against them for what they did, maybe women should be actually listening.
Because let me tell you what I would do if a woman told me why she cheated on her husband or the man she loved:
Study the notes.
Commit them to memory.
Do the exact opposite of everything the man she cheated on did.
I agree a man is going to do what he wants, but it’s a fairly self-defeatist atitude to have in a relationship, no? Certainly I know a woman has the same freedom I do (double standards aside) and if she chooses to step out on me, I am partly responsible for that. So what can I do to make it that much harder for her to exercise her freedom as an adult? Break it down for me, ladies.
Unlike some women who refuse to acknowledge and comprehend the reasons men have for cheating, I want to know what I could do to prevent this from happening to me. As I pointed out in the previous post, Broadwell, Petraeus’s mistress, was married herself, to an accomplished man (for those who want to say Petraeus’s resume was seductive), so she cheated. Earlier this summer, it was revealed Kristen Stewart was getting it in with her director from “Snow White and The Huntsman” who just so happens to not be her boyfriend Robert Pattinson.
You get my point.
Women cheat too and they’ve probably been doing it since men have. So I figure, now is as good a time as any to learn why women cheat. I genuinely want to know, ladies. What leads you into the bed, naked, with a man who is not your husband or boyfriend? But before you all start writing out your confessions in the comments section or flooding my inbox with your diary entries, some criteria:
Firsthand experience, please: Don’t tell me about this friend of yours who you know was with a man she loved very much but then she got a new job and met a dashing co-worker. You know that friend is you, and if it isn’t, then tell your friend to write her story.
Women only, unless… If you’re a man who wants to chime in with the reasons why a woman cheats, you better fess up and say you know this because a woman cheated on you.
High school doesn’t count: Let’s say I told you, “I play basketball.” And you asked me the last time I played, and I said in high school. How much of a basketball player am I really? Exactly.
No almost cheating:If you were in a situation where you were going to cheat but decided not to, congratulations. Now please go somewhere else with all that talent for self-control.
Spare me the “women cheat for the same reasons men cheat” response: If a man said, “Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat” he would be told go to timeout, for laziness and lack of originality.
Cheating, in this case, is sex: Former President Jimmy Carter once confessed: “I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.” He may not have gotten re-elected, but he never got impeached. Former President Bill Clinton committed adultery with his “cigar”. He was impeached. In other words, no one wants to hear about your emotional, mental cheating.
Now that we got the criteria straightened out, ladies, the floor is yours. Tell me why you cheated, I’m ready to learn and I’m taking notes.