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Archive for January, 2013

The Truth About Yesterday’s Post, the Girl who Broke Up With Me, and Personal Finances

January 31st, 2013 21 comments

First thing’s first: A warning that today’s post is a little all over the place.

Second thing’s second: I owe my readers an apology.

As most people who read this blog know, the success of UIGM can be attributed mostly to its honesty. Yesterday’s post (“Don’t Let Her Marry A Starving Artist”) wasn’t completely honest. Don’t worry, I didn’t Jayson Blair/Steve Glass/Manti T’eo things. I watered down the truth and for that, I’m genuinely sorry. I changed some things for the same reason I sometimes change the times and places of events and leave other characters nameless in my posts: For the purposes of creative license and to protect myself and others. Those who know me in real life can usually piece together details, and know the real story, but there are more people I don’t know who read this blog, and it is why I put up this wall between them and myself along with the people I write about.

I don’t turn up the drama on anything I write about (what we call James Frey-ing it); if anything, I turn it down. Whether it’s because I’m embarrassed by the more non-fiction version of events or I’m concerned with what the reaction might be, I temper things down because the truth is sometimes too much for even me to share. And maybe what I should do, when I know I’m writing about something that I’m sensitive about, is not write about it at all. Maybe I should wait until I’m comfortable with whatever has happened and then share with you all.

I didn’t do that yesterday. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and most of it has been about my finances. I’ve been opening up to more people in my personal life about it, and I knew it would be good to open up about it on this blog. So I decided to write what I wrote yesterday.

It was a fairy tale version of what actually happened, written in the more romantic second-person voice, because when done right, it sounds pretty. So I apologize to anyone who read the post and connected to it in a genuine way.

Ninety percent of the post is true. Everything from what my mother said to me before I moved out and started my first job after college to the money problems I faced with my first girlfriend. Those things happened.

The portion of the post that wasn’t true is as follows:

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Categories: Stories Tags:

Don’t Let Her Marry A Starving Artist

January 30th, 2013 3 comments

BEFORE READING: Click here to read the more truthful version of this post.

Your mother tells you, when you and your sister were children, she supported the two of you with less than the money you will be making at your first job out of college. She just wants you to know that, and even though what you’re making is typical entry-level salary, to her, that’s still no excuse. There should be no reason you can’t make ends meet on your own in the world.

When you enter the world, you go about things carefully at first, blessed to have a job you love, working for the kind of company that looks cool on a business card. You’re in your early 20s and you don’t think about anything beyond whether or not your name is on a list and of course, the women you’re dating.

They, the women, are a necessary expense. You have to take them out to eat, buy them drinks, pay their cab fare, buy condoms. You also have to be out in the city where these women are at, keep up appearances to make yourself look desirable.

This goes on for a few years. You’ve hit some bumps in the road at times, but you’ve maintained gainful employment. You’ve even graduated in some areas to a more mature form of adulthood, going from a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate, to a one-bedroom apartment by yourself. You’re no longer entry level, you’ve moved up the ladder some, the checks have more digits.

The irony is, this moment has come at a time in your life where you were beginning to reassess your value system. Of course it has to do with a girl you meet. That’s how all these things work. This girl is your future, so you move her in with you, and you make an attempt to provide everything for her, but you couldn’t afford to do that and she, bless her heart, refuses to let you try. As a matter of fact, not only does she not let you deal with all the finances yourself, she pointed to the fact that she could tell, you didn’t know how to deal with them in the first place. One night, she said to print out your bank statements from the last three months. It was the first time you saw fear in her eyes.

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Categories: Life, Stories Tags:

Quit Wanting To Date Like An Old Person and my CosmoRadio Appearance

January 29th, 2013 3 comments

For those who aren’t SiriusXM subscribers or don’t wake up early enough in the morning to listen to the show, “Wake Up With Taylor” (@wakeup_taylor) on the Cosmo Radio Channel, well, you missed it.

Throughout the month of January, “Wake Up With Taylor” produced a segment entitled, “30 Guys In 30 Days.” Every day they interviewed notable guys like Sean from the current season of “The Bachelor” (he appeared on the show the day before I did) to discuss dating and all that fun stuff that guys don’t talk about unless girls are around.

For my segment, recorded live on January 9, we delved into how my job as a Dating Reporter for the New York Post, and my blog, effect my dating life. But we also got into the more polarizing discussion as to what does and does not qualify as a date.

In the clip below, which is only five minutes of the 20 minute interview (legally I’m not allowed to stream the whole segment), I let down my gracious host Taylor and her partner-in-studio Kenny when they ask me what is the craziest date I’ve ever had. It’s surprising for even me to say, but I never have really had any catastrophic first dates or story worthy first dates. As I explained to them, the craziest thing I’ve done is arrange for first dates to happen around 11 PM, which is hardly a traditional time to meet someone who is still very much a stranger.

Listen to the clip

Play

What I didn’t explain is how I’ve been able to successfully manage not to have horrific dates. I mean, sure I’ve had dates that didn’t go well, but when I say the date didn’t go well, I mean we didn’t go home together. Outside of that small issue, every date I’ve had has ranged from movie-worthy to not bad. And that is because I am a magician.

Not really. It’s because I. Don’t. Ask. Out. Girls. That. I. Don’t. Like. Talking. To.

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Seven Ways For Women To Be Better In The Friend Zone

January 7th, 2013 10 comments

So you’ve decided you’re just going to put me in the friend zone.

Fine.

I didn’t ask to be put here and I definitely didn’t want to be put here, but you’re cool enough (and honestly fine enough) for me to allow this.

But before we becomes besties, I’m going to give you some tips because even though we’re about to be friends without benefits, doesn’t mean there can’t be benefits to being your friend. If you follow these tips, I promise, I will never bother you with talks about me and you getting together or crossing the line. Your future boyfriends will never have to worry about me wanting more from you, and I will always stay in my platonic lane.

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Categories: Friends Tags: