Home > Work > A Picture of Dan to Help me #GetDanADate

A Picture of Dan to Help me #GetDanADate

I know it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Like most lulls in my blogging, the intent is never to stay away for as long as I’m gone. Trust me, if I could get back into 2009-2010 blog shape, where I was writing five days a week, I would.

But this time, part of my absence was to let the last blog post I wrote breathe a little bit. For those who remember, I introduced everyone to Dan, a single, 36-year-old man who reached out to me to participate in my blind date column for the New York Post. You can click here if you want to read the details of my first encounter with Dan, but most of you know why he is a special case. When we met, he admitted to me he has a rather extreme case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and he has Aspergers syndrome.

Since that post, many readers have asked me if I have found Dan a date, and unfortunately I have not. I can point to his condition and say that’s why I’ve had no luck, but in Dan’s defense, finding people for this column is never easy. And once I have people sign up, getting them into the column can still be difficult. There are some people in my files who haven’t been out on a date and signed up months ago. The logistics of how this section work make no sense, and my job is to make them make sense so people can open up their Sunday edition of the New York Post and read Meet Market.

One reason I probably haven’t had any luck with finding women who are willing to give Meet Market a shot as a potential date for Dan is because I realized, even with his mental conditions, people still care how he looks. You can tell me that doesn’t matter, but I’ve worked at this job long enough to know, people may not be able to judge a book by a cover, but a nice cover makes people pick up the book.

With Dan’s permission I have posted the picture you see of him below. This is one of the pictures he took when he came to the Post offices. As you can see, he’s a reasonably handsome man. In the last post I described him as a cross between Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump and Adam Levine. Was I right or was I right? For the ladies who are like, “Yeah, but how tall is he?” He’s 5’11. For the ladies who think, “Yeah but look at the way he’s dressed.” I say, look at the way you’re dressed.

Photo by Jennifer Polixenni Brankin/NY Post

Photo by Jennifer Polixenni Brankin/NY Post

Don’t be mean. If you don’t think Dan is attractive and say so in the comments, I will remove them because you’re ugly on the inside.

Dan certainly doesn’t make my job easier, but he doesn’t make it harder. The reason I am amplifying his case more than the other beautiful people who sign up to partake in Meet Market is because I’m pretty sure none of them can say what Dan said to me: “I’ve never had the privilege of finding someone who will love me for who I am.” Even if that is a feeling they can relate to, their lack of love is probably not tied to a mental condition like Dan. Dan hasn’t been with a woman in a romantic way since he was 19-years-old. That is 17 years without a romantic moment or memory, and he deserves to have at least one.

As I said in the last post, Dan is very clear on one thing he wants in a woman: The ability to be comfortable with being in control. He also said his therapist said he might be more compatible with a woman who is younger than him, around the age of 25, since his inexperience with romantic relationships is probably that of someone 11 years his junior.

If you are a woman over the age of 21, single, and live in NYC, and think you would be able to go out on one date with someone like Dan, please email me at jcummings@nypost.com. If you know of a woman who fits this description, please send them my email and encourage them to sign up. All I ask is that if you do sign up, don’t do it as a charitable act towards Dan. He does not need anyone’s charity. I want to send him on one date with someone who can potentially lead to numerous dates. I never promised him his future wife, I’m just trying to find him a nice woman who wants to meet a nice guy like Dan for one date.

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  • Jennifer

    He’s a cutie! Sending positive vibes to Dan in his endeavor!

  • http://www.facebook.com/MademoiselleCece Cindy Jean

    Awww he is adorable! Wishing you the best Dan!

  • Funmi A.

    He’s cute!!!

  • NYC belle

    I don’t think he is unattractive. Could you have not placed him along with other men for selection on a date without disclosing his OCD and Asperger’s Syndrome? I’m sure many of the other guys you set up on dates have quirks, emotional issues and disabilities, but they are not broadcast and singled out. Treating Dan like just any other blind date might be more successful.

  • http://twitter.com/shannboogie $H∆NNON

    He’s super cute – More like a Adam Levine meets Zachary Quinto kinda way. Forrest Gump Jozen? Really? Good luck homie!!!

  • http://ajerseyg.tumblr.com/ Ms B

    I agree with below… Adam Levine meets Zachary Quinto… he is very cute so good luck Dan!

  • http://twitter.com/kme53 Katie Edelen

    If I were near NYC, I’d definitely date him! I hope you find someone great for his date!

  • http://www.blackgirlunlost.com Jubi The Great

    He’s cute! I’d throw my hat in the ring if I was in NYC.

    Best of luck Dan, I hope it works out for you!

  • Trisha

    I completely agree. Cuz Lord KNOWS I’ve dated quite a few “regular” guys
    who clearly had missed their Psychiatrist appointment to have them
    diagnosed. Best of luck to him!

  • Miss.Riss

    He’s definitely attractive! I really hope your able to get him a date. I wouldn’t want his time of taking a risk with this opportunity to end up unsuccessful. I would if I could, but distance and this ring on my finger prevents me from doing so.

  • SweetT

    In the first post, Dan wants the woman to know up front: “I will try to say this in the questionnaire, but I want you to tell whoever you set me up with about my condition. Oh, and I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 19.”

    Also, as someone who has been in VERY awkward social situations with someone I wasn’t aware had Asperger’s until much later, that’s a helpful tidbit to know. (Matter of fact, this whole situation totally reminds me of him, honestly.)

    Dan is a cutie! I wish him the best!

  • http://twitter.com/AmberEuros AMBER €UROS

    Dan is pretty cute… come on NYC – there’s gotta be a girl out there for him!

  • Just Kia

    As my mom says, everyone’s handicap isn’t seen. So what’s even “regular” these days?

  • Asthma Annie

    I’m happily married, and live in Utah, but, just for the record, he’s a very attractive man.

    Re: the way he’s dressed, he’d be a fashion model in Utah.

    In terms of his challenges, you find me one single person in the world without them–including the man I fell in love with or myself. We both have HUGE issues. And huge love that gives us the patience to work through them with each other.

  • UnderINK

    I wish Dan lots and lots of luck. He is attractive and I know how hard Aspergers can be on relationships. I’ve been single for two years because people find my quirks – which are similar to his, such as walking very slowly and being very indecisive – quite annoying and eventually intolerable. If they don’t immediately get tired of it, they (apparently, I learn later) gradually become resentful of my being incapable or having difficulty with what they perceive as very simple, fundamental things. They get ‘tired of teaching me basic things I should have learned when I was five.’

  • rossa

    he seems really attractive, open and romantic. i like him already. if i wasn’t in england, but in new york, i certainly would take him out for pizza. good luck dan! X

  • Kat

    I think he’s cute – NATURALLY – I’m on the other side of the planet! Ugh, if only I HADN’T seen this on Jezebel, then perhaps this wouldn’t be another thing I can see I’m missing out by not being in New York! Good Luck to you Dan, I hope you find everything you need in a woman, you deserve it!
    P.S. Oh if you ever need a date and happen to be in Australia, look me up ;)

  • Nina

    What’s wrong with dating someone with Asperger’s and OCD? My brother has severe Autism, and depression runs through my family. Dan is an attractive man who also has some psychiatric issues. Hell, I’d consider dating him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/msfenriss Rachel Goldsmith

    Gosh, what on earth is wrong with people? He is a serious cutie! Look at that smile. And who cares how he’s dressed? He’s looks nicely groomed and neat. It shocks me that no woman wants a shot at him. I am happily married, but I would *totally* give him at least a first date.

  • Km.

    I wonder if you might want to go on a date w/ Dan? It sounds like you have some things in common. And – don’t put up with people who don’t treat you with utter love and respect. If people need to demean you they are not worth your time. Best of luck to you as well!

  • Katie

    If I were single and in NYC, I would absolutely go on a date with Dan!! Best of luck in this endeavor; everyone deserves a loving partner, and I know there’s a woman out there for Dan. Sending lots of positive energy y’all’s way.

  • alliecat

    Based on what I read on Jezebel, I’m guessing Dan asked for his Asperger’s and OCD to be disclosed. As an Aspie myself, I do understand that approach, even if it’s not one I take in my own life (I only mention it if it comes up in conversation). Particularly if he has traits because of his Asperger’s or his OCD that are far enough from neurotypical convention to raise eyebrows, that he might want people to know about in advance – the Jezebel article mentioned that he’s really, really indecisive

  • alliecat

    If I didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d totally date him. I’m a teency bit indecisive myself though, so we might end up never actually doing anything :P

  • Beqs

    I’d totally date him.. But I’m in Australia :(

  • UnderINK

    Unfortunately I don’t even live in the state of New York, let alone NYC. Dan has contacted me via Twitter and I have made him aware that I will be available if he ever needs to talk to anyone about his challenges. I do hope he reaches out to me for advice when he needs it; I will always make time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aprilkilduff April Kilduff

    so impressive when someone wants to be upfront and honest about who they are and not play games. i’d definitely meet dan if i was in nyc. good luck!

  • http://profiles.google.com/chaelyc Chaely Chartier

    Screw reasonably attractive – he’s ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE for real. Tall, dark, handsome, nice teeth, beautiful smile, kind eyes. And he knows what he’s looking for. Most single men need a woman to help dress them, anyway, so that can hardly be counted against him.

    The rest of his issues don’t sound much worse than the chronic laziness, immaturity, infidelity, & emotionally stunted men that I encountered when I was still dating.

  • Aymee Campbell

    Dan is very cute! He could use a little makeover in the clothing department, but that isn’t a huge deal. I like that he is open about what some of his challenges will be in a relationship, but when he hooks that special lady he’ll probably treat her like the jewel she is!

  • Regina

    He is so handsome and that smile is gorgeous – but I am on the other side of the world – I do not like being dominant but I can change lol- hope you find him a date – I actually love his dressing.! Bring him to England !