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For the Girl Who Asked You to Write

“New faces,” he said finally, “don’t tell me about new faces.” It seemed that the last time he had gone to a party where he had been promised “new faces,” there had been fifteen people in the room, and he had already slept with five of the women and owed money to all but two of the men.

Joan Didion from “Goodbye to All That”

There is a sea of people in front of the actual sea. You are standing at the bar looking out at both, in a slight daze, waiting on your boy, who is somewhere in this crowd. The music is loud, making the outdoor space feel like an indoor one. The crowd noise is a quiet hum underneath all that bass and treble, and squeaky electronic sounds. How the speakers can take over all of outside is fascinating.

“Hey, you, YOU!” A girl, sitting at a table with friends a good 20 feet away from you stand, is waving her arms in your direction. You make eye contact with her and she confirms it is you she’s waving at. “Yeah, you,” she says. “Where’s my blog? I’m a big fan, you don’t update as much.”

Thank you. I know. I need to get back on it.

“Yeah,” she says. “Get back on it. I used to start my mornings by reading your blog. I need that.”

Thank you. I promise. I will write something this week.

“You better,” she says with a smile on her face.

You have no idea if you’re going to write anything that week, because lately you’ve had no idea what to write about. You built a following by writing personal things, and being honest, but over time you started holding back. It used to be easy, writing five days a week, back when you were actually getting out old feelings about girlfriends in your past. All those thoughts and emotions have been exhumed, and therefore you’ve written less, but there hasn’t been less to write about.

There’s been less you’re willing to share.

You want to uphold the honesty with which you’ve written over the years and she doesn’t know you would rather not write than try to write around all the mess you’ve been dealing with lately. And when you say mess, you don’t mean drama, you just mean disorganization.

You smile back at the girl and walk away from the spot, because now you feel like you’re being stared at and you have to go look for your boy. But what she said is on your mind, and it’s kind of a challenge. It’s just one reader, but most writers would be flattered by a stranger asking them to write more, so now you’re thinking of what you’re going to write about.

As you wander, you run into the girl who threw a drink at you. It’s been somewhere around a year since you two last saw each other. The hug is awkward, but the reunion is cordial. She read that post about the drink-throwing incident. It bothered her, not because you wrote about it, but because you weren’t completely forthright. She said you made her look crazy and irrational for throwing her drink at you, when you know any man who tries to sleep with the best friend of the girl he used to date deserves a drink thrown at him. She has a point, you tell her. But she’s over it, she just wanted to get that off her chest. She doesn’t hate you, and you tell her it’s good to see her. The two of you hug again, this time less awkward, and you keep it moving because you still haven’t found your boy.

You think to yourself, I can write about that. You log it in your head as a possibility.

Then a couple minutes later, a few feet away from where you reunited with the girl who threw a drink at you, you run into one of your ex-girlfriends. It’s a funny coincidence, because this ex was at the same party you were at the night the drink was thrown at you. You and her were dating for about a month at the time, and you remember that night because you really wanted to go home with her. At that party, on that particular night, with her felt like the most comfortable place in the world and you put a premium on the comfort of company. Pleasantries are exchanged pleasantly between the two of you, and you appreciate it because it took you two a while to get here.

When you two broke up, you handled things horribly. For one, right after her came another girl who you fell for very hard and you didn’t keep it a secret. When your ex caught news of the new girl, that was it, for a long time between the two of you.

You think to yourself, I can write about that. You log it in your head as a possibility.

Some more small talk, another hug, and you move along. Where is your boy?

You stand still for a minute and log on to your phone, check Instagram, just because you’re tired of searching. You notice a picture of a girl you follow who is best friends with the girl who came after your ex. And what do you know, the picture of them was taken at the very space in which you stand. But it was taken hours ago, and she’s probably gone now, but you look up and around just to see if that’s the case.

It is.

Good, because it’s been months since you’ve seen this girl, who came after your ex, who will now be referred to as a more recent ex. You haven’t seen the most recent ex on purpose, and even though you knew it was a slight possibility you could run into her at this party when you were getting ready to come, you still wanted to avoid seeing her at all costs. Not seeing her has become a hobby of yours, it’s something you took up after she broke your heart. You’re not mad at her, but sometimes avoidance is the anecdote to getting over, and you have to admit, it’s worked wonders all year.

You think to yourself, I can write about that. You log it in your head as a possibility.

There’s a tap on your shoulder, and you turn around. “Where have you been?” your boy asks.

Looking for you, fool.

Both of you shrug shoulders. He suggests you two get a drink. You think that’s a great idea. On your way to the bar, you see the girl from earlier, the one who said you better write a new post. “Don’t forget what you promised me,” she says.

I won’t. I think I have something to write about.

 

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  • Tai from “The Do Over”

    Thank you for your post. As usual, I enjoyed reading it and will continue to read as long as you write. #nomoreharassment

  • mo

    i used to make “mental notes” about the things i wanted to write about too….

    until i realized they were ineffective. more often than not, i would forget what i was supposed to remember and so called brilliant idea/writing topic would vanish back into the darkness of my mind.

    for the sake of us, your audience, i hope your memory is better than mine.

    i, as well, look forward to more.

  • DreeTV

    i missed this jozen

  • Indian Matrimonials

    Very nice post as much possible.Concept behind it very vast and good.There was the section of introducing the girl was very nice with passionate.