Why is it Wrong For Men to Use Coupons on a Date?
Now you can tell from my everday fits I ain’t rich
So cease and desist with them tricks
I’m just another black man caught up in the mix
Trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents
— Shock G from “I Get Around”
Every now and then I ask a group of my lady friends the following question:
Is it okay for a man use a coupon deal on his first date with you?
In my unscientific research, very few women say it’s fine. Most women tell me it is not. For those women, I follow up with this question:
Is it okay for a man to take you to a restaurant during Restaurant Week?”
The majority of the responses are some variation of this phrase: “Yes, that’s different.”
So here’s the question I ask all of them, and I’m extending to my readers.
What. Is. The. Difference?
A deal is a deal, and no one appreciates a good deal more than women. I’m too lazy to Wikipedia this, but I’m pretty sure what we know as an outlet mall today was created by a woman. Most women I know consider the phrase “full price” as offensive as **insert your favorite misogynistic word or phrase here**. Whenever I hear about a good deal somewhere, the person who put me on was, who else? A woman.
And yet, when a man wants to use a 2-for-1 deal he got on Groupon for a date, many women believe that’s no way to treat a lady. Unless, of course, it’s Restaurant Week, where people experience high-end restaurants at a reasonable price, so long as they order from a prix-fixe menu.
Maybe it’s presentation?
There are two feelings no woman will allow a man to give her: Stupid and cheap.
This is why I don’t try to hide a deal I’m using on a first date. I get the privilege of trying out a lot of new restaurants and experiences I couldn’t afford at full price because of my job. I never try to act like I’m getting the deal because I know the guy who runs the place. I’ll tell my date, “Hey, they’re inviting media to to this restaurant, do you want to go check it out with me?”
She doesn’t feel like I’m using a coupon on her, but in a way, I am. I’m choosing to go to the restaurant because of the deal that’s on the table (no pun intended), which just so happens to be an exclusive deal I’ve scored because of my credentials. If I didn’t have that to my advantage, we perhaps would go elsewhere, and when I say elsewhere, I mean somewhere less expensive.
For this, I get no flack. Why? Again, presentation. The whole experience is ginned up in work obligations. But I realize for many men, such privileges are not the norm.
I identify with the man who’s out here trying to take a nice woman out without breaking the bank. And I wish more women would appreciate the effort he’s put into doing both. He sees a coupon for a good deal at a nice restaurant, he thinks of the girl he just met and says to himself, “I want to try this place with her.”
Does that not count for something?
So people, please tell me, why must a man be looked at as anything less than thoughtful simply because he wants to avoid paying full price? And is there really a difference between a LivingSocial/Groupon date and a Restaurant Week date?