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Dating Hacks: A Strategy To Extend The Date

December 10th, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

For the sake of discussion, let’s say you have proposed taking a woman out for the traditional activity of dinner. The entire time you’re nailing your performance, and when I say that I mean, you’re comfortable, you’re being yourself, you’re making her laugh and she in turn is all these things and doing the same.

The temperature between you two is warm enough to know a second date soon cometh, but you also don’t want this first date to end after the check is paid. The thing is, you’ve already been sitting for 90 or so minutes at the same table in the same restaurant. I don’t care how great the company is, how satiated you two are, a change in environment is necessary if you want to keep the date going.

Gentlemen, for your consideration, I present to you my first dating hack: Suggest to her you two go somewhere else for dessert and coffee.

When you plan your date, having a dinner spot picked out is only half the battle. Make sure you also have a cafe/dessert bar picked out for after dinner. Don’t think of this as Plan B, this is Plan A(2). Your goal here is to extend the good times and warm feelings. Keep these things in mind when doing this.

NOT NEXT DOOR, BUT NOT FAR
The cafe should be walking distance, preferably within a five block radius of where you two are having dinner, but if it’s anymore than 10 blocks, either drive there or take a cab.

TELL DON’T ASK
Don’t say:
“So I was thinking maybe we go somewhere else?”

Do say:
“I want some coffee, come with me to this cafe nearby for dessert.”
The reason I have emphasized the two words in that sentence is because they are key in making you look disarming and genuine. You’re not taking her to another bar for another drink. You’re taking her to a place that is arguably more innocent and that has pastries. Also, you need to include yourself in this request so that she knows you were going to do something anyway and you would like her to join you. Make her feel like her company is your pleasure.

WHY COFFEE OR TEA AND DESSERT?
Unless your date is on team Always Want Another, coffee or tea are always a better choice than more alcohol. Not only do they keep both parties sober, they also can possibly extend your date by an hour or two simply because of the caffeine jolt. This is of course assuming you’re a real adult and don’t order decaf like a child. If they’re not a coffee drinker, remember green and black teas are just as potent. As for the dessert component, pastries are delicious. And perhaps the most compelling reason to do this instead of after-dinner drinks. Coffee, tea, and desserts are less expensive.

DO NOT GO TO STARBUCKS
Last but not least, at all costs, try to avoid making this cafe nearby just another Starbucks. Starbucks isn’t special nor original and these days most Starbucks have become a place where people go to fuel up for a day they already want to be over or to get free wifi and hold meetings with their friends about an app no one is going to download. It’s also the place where inside voices go to die. Search and locate a better cafe. Trust me when I say, they’re all over the world.

The Coffee Academics in Hong Kong.

The Coffee Academics in Hong Kong.

Keep track of time
Another tip when doing this, and I probably should have said this sooner: When you do your research on the second spot, make sure you check their opening hours and plan accordingly. No use in going through all this trouble and then arriving somewhere just as the staff inside is putting the chairs up on tables.

Share the dessert
Because not only is sharing, caring, it’s also a smooth move.

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  • black

    It’s also the place where inside voices go to die.–so true

  • Wilma Stordahl

    This is great advice. I wish more men would approach a date the way you have here. So often, men put a lot if pressure on the woman to come up with the date destination but saying, “What do you want to do or where do you want to go?” I’ve cancelled plans with men anytime the planning the date seemed too exhausting. Maybe it’s my age, but it brings back memories of my marriage where I always had to be the responsible decision-maker, and I bail.

    Be a man with a plan. Changing locations for dessert is classy, and you don’t end up sounding like you’re trying to get her drunk so you can get her into bed. If you play your cards right tree will be plenty of that later.

  • Victor J.

    Yes this is great advice. I have done it before. You are right on the money Wilma!

  • Ariel Ellis

    This advice is really great. A lot of men should take it into consideration. I recall a date and all was well until he suggested to go back to his place. I thought there would be a second date until after that, I was slightly offended.