Date: March 5, 2012
Time: 11:20 am
Location: Starbucks/145 Street/Harlem, New York
I frequent several Starnucks throughout the week, listening to cliché soul music while procrastinating on my debut novel. Today, I decided on the Starbucks closest to my place.
I’m here right now, minding my business, in the midst of writing a brand new post for you all, when all of a sudden this happens:
There’s a guy sitting at a table nearby, and as he gets up to walk towards the back where the restrooms are, he puts down his business card on my table, information side down. Of course this is peculiar to me, and I don’t know why he would do such a thing because I haven’t been talking to anyone, I haven’t looked in his direction. I’ve been writing. Like I said, minding my business.
I turn the business card over anyway. On the card his cell number is circled, with the following words written above an arrow pointing to the circle:
There are a lot of things women say that confuse me. For instance, “We hooked up.” What does that mean exactly? First base, second base, third base, home run?
I just assume it means home run, so I don’t really need it broken down for me.
But there is another phrase I need women to translate for me. It’s usually given as a response whenever she’s asked how one man compares to the other and she tells it to anyone, girl or guy. I’ve heard it a few times in my life, specifically when I pressed a woman on whether or not the new guy was better than me.
These days, I don’t ask such foolish questions. My ego no longer needs cising. But I would still like to know what the following phrase means whenever a woman says it. So here it is, folks. Give me your translations in the comments.
I’m sorry for the long delay, folks. Today I’ve been trying to wrap up things at the office. Only two more days before I head back home to California for the holidays, and I have barely anytime to do anything other than handle this work biz. So please, forgive me?
Now, for today’s post, considering it’s so late in the day, I wanted to think of something quick. So here it is, just a quick question for all my female readers on behalf of more than a few male readers.
My head feels like someone is practicing drums inside of it right now. I can barely move, barely talk, and it’s freezing here in Boston.
So considering I’m recovering from my wild night here in the Bean, I have nothing substantial to say about anything. Instead, I’d much rather pose a question to my female readers (as always male readers are welcomed and encouraged to chime in) about a dilemma I would like some clarity on. Please leave them in the comments and remember, don’t curse or bad mouth people lest you want your comment to go in the virtual trash bin.
Welcome everyone, to my humility. “Advice From Hot Girls” is a new series I’m adding to UIGM for the sake of changing the plenty I don’t know about women, to the plenty I do know; the plenty I need to learn about women, to the plenty I learned.
As many readers have told me, the UIGM comment section is just as engaging and fun to read as my posts. So I decided to marry my lack of knowledge about the opposite sex with the remarkable candor of my readers, and thus “Advice From Hot Girls” was born. Here’s how it works:
I will ask one question or lay out a dilemma I am having with the opposite sex. Then I go on a rant to give the question context, and ask you all to offer me the best answer or solution, which you all will leave in the comment section. And don’t worry about what I’m going to do with the advice or answers given. If it’s good I’ll put it into practice, and rest assured, probably blog about what happened as a result.
Oh and to my male readers, don’t leave. Stay and you might learn something too.
Now, without further ado, my first dilemma I need a woman’s take on.