Until I Get Married

I’ve spoken about compliments before. Receiving them, giving them out, the ultimate compliment, and so on and so forth. Compliments are important, not because they help raise self-esteem, but because when we receive just the right one, they make our day. I know how good it feels to receive a compliment, but I know the greater joy is in giving one to a woman who upon hearing it, smiles so deeply I can tell her face is going to stay like that for the rest of the day.

But the question remains, how do we give them out? There is an art in compliment giving, as I’ve said before, as Esquire once wrote an entire article about. One specific rule of thumb I apply is to be specific when giving out a compliment. I don’t like the umbrella types of compliments where I’m acknowledging everything about a woman. I mean, she could be fine with ashy elbows. Who knows? So, instead, if I see she’s wearing some flashy accessory, I acknowledge that accessory. If I like the way she’s walking, I might say something about her walk. Fly hat? “Fly hat.”

But as a lady friend of mine recently pointed out, sometimes specifics can do more harm than good. If a woman just got her hair done, and I’m complimenting her shirt, what’s that say?

With this logic applied, sometimes the umbrella compliments, ones like “Hey beautiful,” or “You’re pretty,” are our best bet. What’s left to figure out is what umbrella compliment do I apply? I’ve thought about this for a couple of weeks, and I finally have what I like to call  the compliment translator.

Below, a break down of the most general compliments men give and what they might mean.

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They say an idle mind is the devil’s playground. Well, I say an idle mind is where genius happens because the other day, as I was taking a shower, I came up with an idea that I not only find brilliant, but worthy of application.

When a man asks a woman’s hand in marriage, she gets a ring and he gets a what? A “yes” one would hope, but after that, what else does he get? What kind of symbolism does he get to show he is engaged? Traditionally, none. While a woman gets to go around and flaunt a ring, an engaged man does not receive anything to show he is engaged.

Will someone tell me how this is fair? Then will someone tell me why women for so long have allowed their fiancés to go walking around looking no different than the man who isn’t engaged at all?

These questions are rhetorical. Instead of attempting to answer them, I aim to implement an alternative tradition, one that I hope other men put into practice and women will be accepting of.

As reciprocity for asking my woman’s hand in marriage, I too would like a symbol of our engagement. Something specifically for me. Here it is:

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You know, women break hearts too.

I’ve had my heart broken. Not a lot of times, but once or twice  and I wonder if those women were aware of it now or then. I wouldn’t know though. I don’t talk to them, because you know, they broke my heart.

But I digress, back to women breaking hearts.

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You know, women break hearts too.

I’ve had my heart broken. Not a lot of times, but once or twice  and I wonder if those women were aware of it now or then. I wouldn’t know though. I don’t talk to them, because you know, they broke my heart.

But I digress, back to women breaking hearts.

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What’s up, readers. Instead of waiting all day for my brain to conjure up the next great American post, I decided instead to roll with this real quick topic we can wax poetic on in the c-section. Here it is:

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I don’t know what you all were expecting for today’s post, if you all thought I was going to go into some long diatribe about Valentine’s Day and if that diatribe was going to be pro-Valentine’s Day or con-Valentine’s Day, but I’m doing neither.

All I’m going to say is this: Enjoy this coming Sunday in whatever way you see fit. Don’t be a cynic. If you don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, call up the people you do have and tell them you appreciate them. And yes, you probably already did it the day before and you might do it every day after, but tell them they’re loved on Valentine’s Day too.

Hallmark Holiday, Schmallmark Holiday, like it or not, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year specifically designed to celebrate love. As far as I’m concerned, with so much hate in the world today, Valentine’s Day is a good thing,  whether we’re single or in a relationship or just got out of one.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. Feel free to discuss what it does or does not mean to you in the comments. I’ll see you all on Tuesday.

I don’t know what you all were expecting for today’s post, if you all thought I was going to go into some long diatribe about Valentine’s Day and if that diatribe was going to be pro-Valentine’s Day or con-Valentine’s Day, but I’m doing neither.

All I’m going to say is this: Enjoy this coming Sunday in whatever way you see fit. Don’t be a cynic. If you don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, call up the people you do have and tell them you appreciate them. And yes, you probably already did it the day before and you might do it every day after, but tell them they’re loved on Valentine’s Day too.

Hallmark Holiday, Schmallmark Holiday, like it or not, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year specifically designed to celebrate love. As far as I’m concerned, with so much hate in the world today, Valentine’s Day is a good thing,  whether we’re single or in a relationship or just got out of one.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. Feel free to discuss what it does or does not mean to you in the comments. I’ll see you all on Tuesday.

Some good news to share today.

My sister called to tell me she’s going to have a baby, and not exactly in those words.  What she actually said was, “You’re going to be an uncle.”

For 28 years, I have lived my life being one of the three things: Older brother, son, grandson.  I have embraced all of them and wear them proudly, but I would be lying if I said I was ready to be an uncle.

Uncle Jozen sounds so grown to me, more grown than I care to admit. Even though my sister is three years my junior, she along with her boyfriend are more ready than I am to bring a child in the world. Honestly, my idea of helping out with babysitting duties is making phone calls to try and find a babysitter.

But ready or not, this child is coming, and I am going to be its uncle. A few people say to me, “Jozen, you will make a great uncle” but I honestly don’t even know what that means.

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One of my favorite bloggers, Ta-Nehisi Coates does this thing on his own blog over at Theatlantic.com. Basically, every day, one of his entries is an Open Thread where he allows his readers to drive the conversation. People go to the Comments section and pretty much discuss whatever it is that’s on their minds.

I find it to be such a great idea, I’ve decided to jack it (forgive me, Ta-Nehisi). The floor is all yours people. Head to the c-section and leave a comment. Let’s take the weekend to discuss whatever we’d like, and if I find something interesting, perhaps I’ll jump in there too, but no promises.

P.S.

To all my readers who are saying right now, “Oh this is some bullshit.” I’m sorry. I know. But I promise, I’ll be back Monday with my fresh on.