Until I Get Married

So no one will ask me at the end of the article what I think about Drake’s new album, Take Care, let me be clear: I like the album and I’ve had trouble playing anything else since I first listened to my leaked copy last week. Not only do I like the album because of its crisp production and Drake’s better-than-good skills as an MC, I like the album for all the reasons most others say they hate it.

Some say, It’s too emotional; I like it because it’s emotional. Some say he sings on it way too much, I don’t like it when he sings all the time either, but that strike against him isn’t enough to change my overall opinion on the album. Some say the combination of Drake’s emotional lyrics and constant singing make for a soft album, I say the art of the quiet, ambient rap album is under-appreciated, but I digress.

What I appreciate most about Take Care is the way it’s revealing how people really feel about men who not only are expressive about their feelings, but also men who know how to feel something, anything for the women who have come in and out of their life. Before Drake, the most emotional rapper I ever listened to was Tupac, and even if he wasn’t singing on half his records (he usually got singers to handle those duties), he talked about his struggle to make it work with another woman often. For years ‘Pac has been my go-to-artist when I was down about a woman, and by no means does Drake replace him, but he certainly adds to that otherwise small group of artists who can actually rap to how I’m feeling.

Now before everyone gets all up in their chest about me including ‘Pac in the same paragraph as Drake, take heed. By no means am I saying Drake is as good as ‘Pac…matter of fact, let’s move on. If you think that’s what I’m saying you’re not as smart as you think.

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The title of this post is to denote two very random thoughts I had separate from one another but before I get into them, a response to some of the friendly and kind criticism I have received for not writing more often and when I do write, keeping the posts short.

People, you must chill.

I’m trying new things here, some of which involve writing shorter because the ability to do so is what separates great writers from people who want to be great writers. Mark Twain once said:

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead

To my readers who have aspirations of writing or are pursuing a career in this field, remember that.

When I feel like I have something thoughtful to write about, I’ll do so at length. Also, I’m thinking about writing more about random topics, even if they have nothing to do with relationships. As most of you know, I write for a living, so I’ve entertained the idea of opening up the blog to include more of the things I write about in the pros. Who knows? Maybe I’ll give some back story behind a story I’ve written for some publication. Be on the look out for that, if it happens at all.

Okay, now that we have the formalities out of the way, onto black boxers and a weird girl I dated in high school.

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There are a lot of things women told me they do because a man said they should.

That’s fine.

Plenty of men do the same; take advice from a woman and apply it in hopes of landing more women. I don’t fault any woman who once heard a pearl of wisdom from a man and ran with it to increase the likelihood of her finding another man. I believe when it comes to advice about the opposite sex, seek it from the opposite sex.

But there is once piece of advice I wish women would stop entertaining, and it often comes from men. To paraphrase, it goes like this: “If you want a man to take you seriously, you need to make him wait for sex. Give it up too soon, that respect goes out the window.”

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I had a real reaction when I heard about Nate Dogg’s death this morning. This is not to say I cried, or shed tears, but I did freeze up for a second. After all, I did grow up to the man’s music.

Like many who heard the news, I couldn’t believe it. Though I was more than aware of the strokes he suffered in 2007 and 2008, last I heard things weren’t getting any worse. If I can recall correctly, my former colleague at VIBE, Keith Murphy even did an interview with him in 2008. It was something small for VIBE, but I can’t really recall exactly what the story was, what I do remember is Keith telling me his condition was improving. Unfortunately, the man passed away last night at the young age of 41.

Of course, I immediately went into my catalog and dug up some of my favorite Nate Dogg records. In doing so, I had to chuckle to myself as I bobbed my head and sang along. If there’s one thing I have to give props to Nate Dogg for, it was the way he sang some of the lewdest, harshest lyrics about women and made them sound so, well, nice. Nate Dogg, for better or for worse, was one of the rudest singers ever, which may make a tribute to him sound like a smoothed-out playlist of woman bashing.

But every now and then, Nate Dogg would sing something a bit more female friendly. In honor of hip-hop’s greatest singer and his unfortunate passing, a list of the five Nate Dogg sounds a man can play and sing along to (if he dares) for his lady.

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A holiday special! In this episode Jozen discusses hooking up with a good friend for the first time, relocating in the name of love, and why he wants to know what his readers look like in the latest installment of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast.

Take a listen, download, subscribe to iTunes via PodOmatic and click here to submit any questions for consideration on the next Poppin’ Questions Podcast or send an email to feedback@untiligetmarried.com

It was just announced today, Until I Get Married won the popular vote in the category of Best Sex and Relationships Blog, Best Personal Blog (an honor shared with my friend and career girlfriend, Demetria Lucas for ABelleinBrooklyn.com), and what is probably the most flattering honor, Best Writing in a Blog.

All three wins were through popular vote, meaning I literally could not have done it without you all. They should have a category for Best Readers of A Blog so I can find a way to pay you all back. You all are the best, and so my first thank you, goes to everyone of you.

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Here’s a question for all the ladies out there who have that one guy friend they think of like a brother…Well, wait, before I even ask the question, let’s dispel of the notion that the guy who is “like” your brother is a brother or related in any way by blood for that matter. He’s not. He’s a best friend. The guy who has been there when boyfriends weren’t….Now do all the ladies reading know who I’m talking about? Okay, good. Now here’s the question:

Why not sleep with him?

I understand “best friend sex” is one of those unwritten laws no one should violate, but we all know at some point, a man will be a man, and he will try his female best friend. And for all the men who have already done this, or have yet to do so but probably will anyway, their advances will probably be met with side eye city. So for them, I have taken it upon myself to be their representation.

Below, the five reasons why she might want to sleep with her best friend.

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INTERVIEW BEGINS AT THE 01:07:39 MARK

Because I have never been treated badly, never been blatantly disrespected by a woman with whom I was in a relationship, I always wished them the best when our journey ended. Even if we couldn’t remain friends, I care about them and their happiness.

So to the men out there who got next on my girl, here’s something I’d like to say to you. Man to man.

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