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Winner: Best Readers Of A Blog And Other Awards

September 1st, 2010 34 comments

It was just announced today, Until I Get Married won the popular vote in the category of Best Sex and Relationships Blog, Best Personal Blog (an honor shared with my friend and career girlfriend, Demetria Lucas for ABelleinBrooklyn.com), and what is probably the most flattering honor, Best Writing in a Blog.

All three wins were through popular vote, meaning I literally could not have done it without you all. They should have a category for Best Readers of A Blog so I can find a way to pay you all back. You all are the best, and so my first thank you, goes to everyone of you.

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Categories: Uncategorized, Work, writing Tags:

Five Reasons She Should Sleep With Her Best Friend

August 4th, 2010 74 comments

Here’s a question for all the ladies out there who have that one guy friend they think of like a brother…Well, wait, before I even ask the question, let’s dispel of the notion that the guy who is “like” your brother is a brother or related in any way by blood for that matter. He’s not. He’s a best friend. The guy who has been there when boyfriends weren’t….Now do all the ladies reading know who I’m talking about? Okay, good. Now here’s the question:

Why not sleep with him?

I understand “best friend sex” is one of those unwritten laws no one should violate, but we all know at some point, a man will be a man, and he will try his female best friend. And for all the men who have already done this, or have yet to do so but probably will anyway, their advances will probably be met with side eye city. So for them, I have taken it upon myself to be their representation.

Below, the five reasons why she might want to sleep with her best friend.

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Categories: guys, s#x, Uncategorized, women Tags:

My Appearance on Oprah Radio Network With Derrick Ashong

June 5th, 2010 5 comments

Man To The Next Man

May 18th, 2010 58 comments

Because I have never been treated badly, never been blatantly disrespected by a woman with whom I was in a relationship, I always wished them the best when our journey ended. Even if we couldn’t remain friends, I care about them and their happiness.

So to the men out there who got next on my girl, here’s something I’d like to say to you. Man to man.

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Hello world!

February 15th, 2010 1 comment
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I'm Gonna Be Late

January 1st, 2010 4 comments

Recovering from last night’s festivities, so I can’t really wrap my head around 500+ words on anything but Advil. Later, especially for those on the East Coast, I will hit you all with something.

Until then, I hope everyone had a great New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day is starting off the right way.

Happy New Year!

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Five Things That Make Me Want To Marry Her Instantly

December 22nd, 2009 29 comments

This list is a lot different from the one I wrote a two months ago (“A Rather Odd List Of Things That Turn Me On“) because whereas the list of things that turn me on get my attention, this list of things get my heart. Theyhave more to do with her character and the type of woman she is, than what she does for me.

For example, in the post of odd list of things that turn me on, I say I love a woman who can make me a good taco, because I do. That is a turn on. But a woman who doesn’t know the first thing about making a good taco, so she calls my mom up to find out how she used to make tacos for me, then gives it a try herself…that woman has my heart.

So here it is: Five things that make me want to marry her instantly.

SHE DOESN’T WANT A WEDDING

I don’t want a wedding either! Great! Let’s go to the Justice of the Peace, handle our business, and have the party to end all parties at a reception with friends.

SHE LOVES THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS

A woman who is down to watch the game is a turn on, but a woman who has grown up loving the same football team I love will get me to the altar quicker than a quarterback can say, “HUT!” I dated a woman last year who was a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan just like me and she still has a piece of my heart.

SHE DOESN’T LIKE ROLLER COASTERS

I hate roller coasters, absolutely deplore them as a matter of fact. There is no reason I want to go that high that fast all upside down and stuff. So it feels good to know the woman I’m dating will never be the type to drag me by my hand to some hair-raising contraption, talking about, “Oh come on, don’t be a baby!”

SHE HAS THE SAME SLEEPING PATTERN AS ME

I’ve written at length about how frustrating it is to date someone whose sleep regimen is the polar opposite of my own, but I can’t stress how important this is. I truly do believe the woman who is meant for me is the woman who wants to be in bed by 12 a.m. and up by 6 a.m.

SHE FORWARDS ME ARTICLES ABOUT THINGS I CARE ABOUT

“Saw this article, and I thought you might find it interesting. Check it out and we can talk about it.”

I don’t remember what the article was about, but I do remember receiving this email from a woman I once dated and thinking how I would so marry her if it wasn’t for the fact that she went to bed all late and loved riding roller coasters.

Categories: Uncategorized, women Tags:

At Some Point, High School Can't Matter

November 25th, 2009 11 comments

Not too long ago, I asked a 25-year-old woman if she ever cheated in a relationship. “I have,” she said. “When I was in high school.”

“Oh, that doesn’t count,” I shot back.

“Why not?” she asked.

I then explained to her my philosophy of how very few things we do in high school should be held against us as adults. If she were to tell me she cheated on the last boyfriend she had, two weeks ago, I can gather she probably has some commitment issues. But cheating in high school? I cheated in high school, that’s not the problem. I’m 28. I cheated when I was 27. That’s a problem.

Unless you’re a freshman in college, or your senior year of high school was the apex of your cool (to which I would feel sorry for you if that were the case), any experience regarding relationships in high school should be swiped clean from the record. It doesn’t matter, good or bad if it happened in high school. Anything you did back then goes the way of your letterman jacket, and you don’t still wear that do you?

The truth is, even if we throw away the letterman jacket, some people still want to wear the experiences they had in high school on their sleeves. They will say high school matters, and of course it does, but so does middle school, and elementary school, and the first steps we ever took. In the grand scheme of things, every single day of our lives matter.

What I’m talking about is allowing high school to matter more than any of the other times I mentioned. In 2010, I’ll have graduated high school 10 years ago, and I can’t think of one thing about me then that is the same today. Not one.

I changed since high school. I don’t look the same, dress the same, talk the same. I don’t even think I’m the same height (a little bit taller). When I graduated from high school, I was 18. Do the math and add up the common sense. Nothing about me is the same, except for my name, and therefore, nothing about me back then can apply to me now.

We can talk about high school love affairs, and things like losing one’s virginity (for those of us like me, who at least waited until high school) until we’re blue in the face. But why should I expect anyone to take seriously, a period in my life where the biggest step involved sharing my locker with a girl, when since then, I’ve actually shared an apartment with a woman? I give consideration for those who went through four years of hell in high school, whose lives changed in ways that impacted their core and shaped them forever, but such seismic events are not the ones I speak of.

The events I’m talking about are things like cheating on a girlfriend or boyfriend in high school, or getting one’s heart broken in high school. Those are the types of things that don’t matter to me. As a matter of fact, if ever I am dealing with a woman who is still hurt over losing her high school love, I am going to feel obligated to check her ID and make sure she’s not getting me into an R. Kelly type of situation.

And for those who are wondering: Of course all of this is coming from someone whose high school years were largely uneventful. Some of my high school classmates read my blog, they know like I know, I wasn’t that popular, and while I did my lose virginity in high school, I wasn’t a ladies man of any sort (not to say I am one now). I played in the jazz band. I went to my senior prom with a pretty girl who also happened to be a dear friend of mine since the first grade. Prom King, I was anything but. Yet, I’m pretty sure, even if things were different and I was more Zach Morris than Screech Powers, I would hope to learn much more about life after those four years of seven period days were over.

Who we were in high school and what we went through in high school are nothing more than memories worth sharing from time to time. I learned a lot back then, but since then, I’ve learned so much more.

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A Guide To A Man's Firsts

November 19th, 2009 14 comments

They say some experiences are like the first time, no matter how many times they occur. I say, no matter how many times it occurs, the first time is the one we remember the most.

First does not have to mean best and sometimes it can mean worst, but no matter the result, nothing changes its position. Before it happened again or at all, the first time was an introduction and sometimes these introductions stay with us forever and changes our lives. Other times the introductions will be all we get.

Below, a list of man’s most memorable firsts.

The first girl he ever liked.
The first girl who ever liked him back.

The first girl he ever asked to dance.
The first girl who ever said yes when he asked her to dance.

The first girl he ever kissed on the cheek.
The first girl who ever kissed him on the cheek.

The first time he ever saw a sex scene in the movie, which is usually the exact same time his parents saw a sex scene in front of their child for the first time.

The first girl he ever kissed on the lips.
The first girl he ever made out with.

The  first time he ever touched a breast.
The first time he ever put his hand between her legs.
The first time he smelled his fingers afterward (he remembers the smell too).
The first time she ever touched him between his legs…way different than the first time he ever touched himself between his legs.
The first time he kissed her in between her legs.
The first time she did the same thing in return.

The first time he ever watches an adult film with his friends or by himself. Very gross. Very cool.

The first girl he ever brought over to his parents house when his parents were home. The first girl he ever brought over to his parents house when his parents weren’t home.

The first time he put on a condom.

The first woman he ever had sex with.
(Not to be confused with the first girl who let him touch her breast or touch in between her legs or any of the other firsts I have already mentioned)

The first orgasm he ever has from having sex.
(Much different than first time he made himself have an orgasm.)

The first time he ever made a woman have an orgasm.
The first time he ever heard of women faking orgasms.
The first time a woman told him she was faking her orgasms. (What do you mean you didn’t have an orgasm?)

The first girl he ever calls his girlfriend.
The first girlfriend he ever broke up with.
The first girl who breaks up with him.
The first girl he ever cheats on.
The first girl who doesn’t take that mess and cheats on him back.

The first time the condom breaks.
The first time he forgets to bring a condom
The first time a woman lets him have sex without one.
The first time he feels so stupid and feels so good at the same time.

The first time a woman tells him she might be pregnant.
The first time he has to buy a pregnancy test, and if it’s positive,
The first time he ever visits an abortion clinic or
The first time he ever sees a sonogram of his first born child.

If the results are negative, he still must deal with the first time he ever gets tested for HIV and other STDs.
What a scary first time.

The first one night stand and the first time he had sex with a girl whose name he doesn’t remember. (Funny how he remembers that but doesn’t remember her name. )

The first time he never hears back from a girl after they had sex for the first time.
The first girl who told him the first time they had sex was going to be the only time, because it was just sex. (He didn’t know girls did that too.)

The first time he has sex with more than one woman at the same time. He definitely remembers that.

The first time he has sex with the one woman he knows he wants to have sex with for the rest of his life.

The first time he has sex with her is a lot different than the first time he had sex with any other woman, because it’s
The first time he experiences intimacy.

The first time he says “I love you” to this woman
The first time she says, “I love you too.”

The first time he gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him.
The first time she says yes.
The first time they get married.

Hopefully, it’s the last time he ever does such a thing, because from what I heard, there is nothing like the first time a man gets a divorce.

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A Letter To The Ex Girlfriend Who Cheated On Me

October 19th, 2009 16 comments

Dear Ex Girlfriend Who Cheated On Me,

I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing right now, but I just want to let you know when you cheated on me, you were wrong. I don’t know exactly when you did what you did or who you did it with or where you did it or even how you did it, but I know you cheated on me. I know this because if I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times, Mama ain’t raise no fool.

You think I’m so clueless as to believe you didn’t go behind my back and do a little something with some guy? Let me answer that question with another question.

Do I look stupid to you?

Even if I can’t prove how or when you cheated on me, my gut tells me to believe you did. Back in the day, I used to think, No way, not her. She would never cheat on me. I’m too good of a man to do such a thing. I used to beat my chest and tell all my friends, “I ain’t ever had a girl cheat on me!”

Now it all sounds like some naive young man talk.

I’ve grown up. I’ve seen some things, and when I say things, I mean scandalous, hush-your-mouth type of things from the most wholesome of women. In some cases, I was even a participant in these scandalous things. A hard pill to swallow, for sure, but I’m a man, I can take it. I realize I have made mistakes of epic proportions, if not with you with another woman. Therefore I probably deserved whatever you did, much as it makes me cringe to say that.

But as Jay-Z said, “You don’t get a n**** back like that!”

Why did you have to do what you did with the guy that you did it with? What was it that made you cheat on me in the first place? Was it because I did it to you and you wanted revenge? Maybe I never cheated on you in the first place, but you just couldn’t help y0urself. Was that it? Did you feel entitled to do it because someone else once did it to you? Did you feel better about yourself after it was done?

All these questions are rhetorical.

I don’t really care what you’re reasoning is, because no matter which way you cut it, cheating on me was foul. Foul. Foul. Foul. Foul. FOUL.

And like I said before, I still don’t know who you are, still have never found out exactly what happened, but do me one favor: Keep it that way.

Sincerely Yours,

Jozen

P.S.

Don’t do it again. Thanks.

P.S.S.

This letter applies to you too, future ex-girlfriends!

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