Categories
Guys

More About Liking Women With Curves

Are Certain Men Predisposed to Liking Women With Curves? 

Sir Mix-a-Lot may have said it best when he rapped, “36-24-36? Only if she’s 5’3″.”

It seems that science and evolution may play a role in why many men prefer women with curves over women with a flatter shape. A study out of the University of Texas found that a majority of men prefer women with a back-to-buttocks curve of 45.5 degrees.

How did researchers determine that 45.5 degrees is the perfect back-to-buttocks curve? It’s the ideal angle for the lumbar spine because it allows women of child-bearing years to carry their pregnancies evenly, with the excess weight properly balanced over the hips.

This proper angle would mean that in ancient times, women with this 45.5 degree curve would be more likely to carry a pregnancy to full-term and not have any spine issues during or after pregnancy. Although times have changed and women are treasured for much more than their ability to bear children, this preference for curvy women still exists for many men.

Does race play a role in body-type preference?

There’s a common misconception that more black and Latino men prefer women with curves than white men. Another study showed that men of all races preferred women with a curvier shape. White men appreciate curves on a woman just as much as black and Latino men.

When a man sees curves on a woman, they almost act like a drug, activating parts of the brain that are directly linked to rewards, similar to the areas of the brain that are activated when under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This means that, regardless of their race, a majority of men prefer a woman with an hourglass figure.

A smaller waist, larger breasts, and wider hips are all signs of health and virility- something that appeals to both men and women. Even females were shown to find curvier women more attractive than thin women. The female response is different than the male response, though, with females viewing curvy women as a threat because of their attractiveness.

How much does a woman’s body shape play a role in attracting male attention?

Physical appearance is one of the first things that attract a potential mate, so it’s natural that a woman’s body shape would play a role in attracting male attention. How much it affects male attention depends on the type of relationship a man is looking for.

Researchers out of Southwestern University in Texas and Western Oregon University conducted a study on 250 men and women to determine just how much a person’s physical appearance impacted their desirability. The results of the study showed that men preferred a pretty face over a nice body if they were seeking a long-term relationship. Men seeking short-term relationships preferred a nice body.

These results indicate that the potential fertility of a partner plays a bigger role in whether or not a man finds a woman attractive. While a curvy body shape is more appealing for many men because history has shown they are more likely to be fertile and have easier pregnancies, attractive facial features play a larger role for men when seeking a long-term partner.

Do men prefer physical beauty over inner beauty?

Although a woman’s physical appearance is what initially attracts a man, their personality is what keeps them. Men prefer women who are honest, funny, and who possess a strong work ethic. Women who are lazy, stressed out, and constantly on the defensive are less attractive to men seeking long-term relationships.

The same holds true for women seeking long-term relationships with men. While the initial attractiveness comes from a man’s physical appearance, his ability to make a woman laugh, keep calm in stressful situations, and provide financial security are much more desirable than a man who lacks a sense of humor and a good work ethic.

Final Thoughts

While many men are predisposed to find women with curves more attractive than women without curves, this isn’t necessarily what keeps them interested for the long-term. A woman’s personality is what keeps a man actively engaged and more likely to stick around.

Despite the fact that a woman’s ability to bear children isn’t as important as it was in ancient times, a male’s brain is still naturally hardwired to prefer a woman with curves over a woman without. This hasn’t changed in thousands of years and it’s not likely to change any time soon. Women can rest assured that as long as those “curves are kickin'” the men will be “thinkin’ bout stickin'”.

Categories
Guys

The Four Things A Man Should Never Have To Buy For Himself

Everyone has heard of the old adage that a woman should never buy her own flowers. This was mentioned to me way too many times during my childhood, most likely as a result of my father not buying flowers for my mom as much as she thought she deserved. I never forgot that and to this day, I still go out and purchase flowers for my wife of twenty-four years at least once a month. This has probably helped me avoid a few trips to the doghouse. The appreciation she has for this small token of affection is nice as well.

In addition to flowers, I do not believe that women should ever have to buy their own jewelry or lingerie. These are items that her significant other should want to buy his woman. Both items will instill a personal connection between the purchaser and the wearer. As a man, I definitely want my wife thinking of only me when she puts on her jewelry, or more importantly some sexy lingerie, and not the salesman behind the counter at Macy’s.

To add to this list, I have been told by my children that my wife would love a day at the spa, but that she would never just go ahead and purchase it for herself. I quickly picked up on their clues and when I presented my wife with a day at the spa, she was beyond thrilled. Add that to the ‘when in doubt’ bag of ideas for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

So that got me thinking that there must be some items that guys deserve to have bought for them as opposed to going out and picking up themselves, right? After much deliberation and discussion among my guy friends, I have come up with the four items that a man should never buy for himself.

A Nice Suit

At first you might think that purchasing a suit is too personal of a purchase to put into the hands of someone else. But when you think about it, does not the woman in your life already tell you what to wear or what clothes to purchase. Having her pick out the suit not only saves time; it will probably be the best-looking suit you could have chosen yourself. What you will need to do is schedule a time to get it tailored so that it fits properly. Now whenever you wear that suit, your special lady will smile with a sense of pride. A note of caution, just because it is OK for a woman to purchase a suit for a man, do not think for one second that the same holds true for a man purchasing a dress for a woman. A man’s role in this is clear, hold the purse and nod in agreement whenever possible.

A Fashionable Watch

Yes, we all can check the time and date by pulling out our cell phones. Unlike twenty-five or so years ago, a watch does not have much of a functional purpose. Rather, a nice timepiece is a symbol of elegance and class. Wearing a good-looking watch, along with your new suit, shows a sense of status and your woman will be proud to accompany you wherever you are headed. A nice time piece also serves as a conversational item; something you can show off and talk about with co-workers, friends, and just about anyone you meet up with. I have learned over the years that just like a woman cannot have enough bracelets and necklaces to choose from, the same can go for a man and his assortment of watches.

Cologne 

What better way to complete the whole package than a scent picked out and purchased by your lady? Above all other things, a woman will latch onto a scent and stake claim to the wearer. When a woman buys you a bottle of cologne, she is basically marking her territory. Wearing a scent that she did not purchase for you could have significant, negative consequences. A woman likes to know that her man smells the way she wants him to and that others that walk past him know, simply by the scent in the air, that this is her man. Just remember, even if you do not love the scent that she has picked out for you, she obviously likes it and we all know that this is what really matters.

Gadgets

If the way to a woman’s heart is a beautiful bouquet of flowers, then fun, exciting gadgets are the electronic equivalent to these plants. Men love gadgets of all shapes and sizes. Things as small as laser pointer key chains, all the way to laptops and drones, always put a smile on a guy’s face. There is something about taking the item out of its box and firing it up for the first time that gives a man a thrill. If the woman is strategic in her purchases, she can coax her man into getting some chores done, under the guise of playing with a new toy. I trimmed many a hedge while being played this way by my lovely wife.

While developing this list, I came up with a few other items, all of lesser importance when it comes to men not purchasing them for themselves, but still worth mentioning. Underwear and ties – while not as flashy as suits and watches, these are items guys rarely would buy for themselves, but appreciate when purchased for them. Books – while not necessarily a no-no for a guy to buy himself, if the man is an avid reader, the woman in his life should know the type of books he likes to read. Sporting events and concert tickets – men loved to be surprised with an outing, much the same way women look forward to their spa day. The biggest draw back through to this purchase is determining who you should, rather than who you want, to take to the event. I caution every man to tread lightly here and take any hints that your woman may give you.

Categories
Dating

Everyone Deserves A Date, Including A Guy Named Dan

As is often the case, I receive emails from people who have read my columns. I get comments, questions, hate mail. I hear from all types of people no matter what their situation is. This guy was named Dan, and he sent me the following message:

“I am an avid reader of the Post and I have enjoyed your Meet Market page for some time. I noticed that I can email you and ask for help with finding a date. I would very much like to get some help meeting women, and I would like to know how to proceed with you. Thank you and I hope to talk to you soon.”

I enjoy these types of messages because I know people are reading, I can bring people into the fold, and I do not need to talk people into getting help with dating. Dating can be hard, and I feel better knowing I can make a difference.

How Did We Start?

I started with all the usual questions. Are you over 21? Do you like in NYC or the immediate outlying areas? When people are interested, they sometimes live too far away, are too young, or simply have the wrong idea. In Dan’s case, he was 36 and lived on Long Island. This is perfect because there are a lot of 30-somethings on Long Island looking for mates. There are also a lot of 30-somethings in the city looking for a date. Think about it for a second. That’s what Sex and the City was all about. I simply cover the male angle most of the time.

I asked Dan to fill out the questionnaire, and he scheduled time the next day to come in for the photo for the column. When people sign up for the Meet Market, they usually do so over email. This is very common, and it helps me reach more people. This means, however, that I do not meet these people for the first time until I see them for their photo. While people are excited about the photo, they usually want to get it over with and move on with their daily grind.

What Was Dan Like?

Dan was unlike anyone I had ever met through this service, imagine if Forrest Gump’s haircut was on Adam Levine, but he was a little too shy to start Maroon 5. Gave him black-rimmed glasses that are very thick, and this very slow walk. This was the slowest walk I had ever experienced. It felt awkward walking at a normal pace, and I didn’t want to leave the guy behind. 

We got up to the studio for the photo, and I was talking to him about how the Meet Market works. This was perfectly normal, and he seemed ready for the challenge, but he did look a little apprehensive. It was as if he had something to say and didn’t want to say it. 

I always ask if our guests have any questions about the Meet Market, but he told me he needed to tell me something. He said he had OCD and Asperger’s. This didn’t change my demeanor or approach to Dan, but I needed to take a mental note of the situation if I wanted to help him.

Dan Has Different Concerns When Going On Dates

As we shook hands in the lobby, he elaborated, “I don’t know how this normally works, but I have a very hard time meeting women. Because of my condition, it is impossible to make the simplest decisions. Most women do not find that attractive because they want a man who will take charge and deal with everything. I am not that person. I know some women like to be dominant, but there is no way to find them. I hate clubs and places with loud music, and I’m terrible at approaching women because I never know what to say. I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 19, and I know this is the reason why.”

I try very hard not to make this job personal, and it can be difficult when people really want to meet someone special. I am, however, not a matchmaker. I want people to go on nice dates, and I want to say something cool about them in the paper. That is my job. If someone finds the love of their life, that is great. If people don’t, that is not my fault.

The problem with Dan is that he’s different, but it’s not a problem. It’s an obstacle, and I wanted to help him overcome that obstacle as much as possible.

How Was I Going To Address This Problem?

This man was trying very hard to be upfront about his condition, and I wanted to give him the best chance to address his issues meeting women. He even knew what he needed in a woman, and I thought it was nice that he could be honest with himself. A lot of guys with issues like this blame women. Dan wasn’t blaming himself, either, but he was aware of what his challenges would be. 

I have talked to Dan a few times since he filled out the questionnaire, and he is a very good guy who has a Master’s Degree in Education. He works with a tutoring service that sends tutors to homes for kids who need help with certain subjects. He is still certified to teach, and he has developed a lot of self-awareness because he has taken the time to work on himself.

A lot of men can take a note from what Dan has to say. He was talking to me and told me, “my therapist says that I might need a woman who is in her mid-20s. While I am 36, she says that I might want someone who has as little experience with relationships as I do. We can grow together, and I look forward to that.”

More than anything, Dan understands how difficult it can be to explain his condition and find a dominant woman. He told me that he had a hard time finding a dominant woman because his desire for that type of relationship often makes him look and feel weak. “I want people to be ok with my condition, but I also want them to be ok with helping me through life and taking charge.”

Dan was also achingly honest about how this condition has impacted his life in the past, “I am very close to being a 40-year old virgin. I feel like everyone has been offered cake at a party and there is none for me.”

I Am Making A Personal Plea

I know that this is not usually how it works, but I want to give Dan a special chance to meet someone. I typically put people into the Meet Market, and I allow the women to choose. In this case, I want Dan to be the one who chooses. To that end, I am looking for women who are 21-40, living in NYC and looking to go on a date with Dan. 

I promise you, this man is incredibly kind. He is smart. He works hard, and he has a good understanding of who he is. He just needs help finding the love that he, like all of us, deserves.

If you are this person or know someone living in NYC who should have a chance to go on a date with Dan, let me know. You can email me from the contact page.

I Am Still Talking To Dan

I told Dan I would help him get a date. That was all I promised. What happens on the date is up to him. What happens on the date might be up to you. It is not my job to help Dan get married, find the white picket fence, the kids, and the lifestyle he has always wanted. That is not where I am going. You, however, can give Dan a chance to get off to a good start. If nothing else, you might make friends with Dan if you don’t hit it off. Imagine how much a lady wingman could do for his psyche. He deserves a little kindness and joy in his life.

Let people around you know that Dan is available. You might be the perfect match for Dan, and you might know someone who can help give Dan what he deserves. Everyone deserves a date, including a guy named Dan no matter his situation.