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A Rather Odd List of Things That Turn Me On

October 20th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a blog entry entitled, An Unreasonable List of Things That Turn Me Off. The list was written in jest, but it did hint at some of the idiosyncracies I have when it comes to the opposite sex.

Today, I flip the concept and list some rather unique, attractive qualities in the opposite sex. Like the unreasonable list of turn-offs, this list isn’t etched in stone and in no way absolute. There’s wiggle room here. In no way do I require any woman I date to possess all or even any of these traits. But, it would be nice if she had or could do one or two of them.

Make A Good Taco

The question is not, can she cook? The question is, can she make a good taco? A woman not being able to get down in the kitchen is kind of like a three-legged dog: They exist, but I’ve only seen two, three tops, in my life. What I can truly appreciate in any woman is if she can make some good tacos. Extra points go to the woman who has a recipe of her own. And why tacos, you ask? They’re the best food in the world.


I’m not a vegetarian, but I love a woman who is. Second to a good taco, is a good steak, and to me, there is nothing sexier than a woman who is willing to compromise her ethics and beliefs in order to make me my second favorite meal.

Curse A Little

A curse word, said right, in the right moment, is f*ckin sexy as h*ll.

Hoarse Voice

Whenever I talk to a woman who is recovering from losing her voice or a sore throat, there’s something about the way she sounds that makes me want to make her lose her voice all over again.

Girls With Boys Names


Here’s the thing: I have never met a woman with a boy’s name I didn’t like. Those women have always been sexy and cool, word to Billie Holiday.

Prefers Texting over Talking on the Phone

A woman who texts is way easier to ignore. That’s sexy.

Getting Ready for Work

Ever watch a woman get ready for her day? From putting the final touches on her hair, to the 180 turns she gives in front of a full-length mirror, there is nothing sexier than watching a woman get herself together. “How do I look,” she asks. “You’ve been looking good,” I reply.

Doesn’t Like To Stay Up Late

I am not a night person, never have been, which means for me, the best relationships have usually been with women who can respect a decent bedtime. A woman who wants to turn in at 11 is the woman for me.

Played or plays Basketball or Volleyball

These women are usually tall, and even though I’m only 6’0, I’ve always dug a woman who stands 5’7 and above. But for all my female readers below 5’7, don’t fret, you’re fun too.

Her Facebook Page and Twitter Stay Updated

Follow what I’m saying, friend. As a former online editor of two magazines, a social media buff, and a blog author, I can definitely get into a woman with a good profile pic, and quick, witty tweets.

Jozen is finished with his rather odd list of things that turn him on.

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  • Paige

    First of all: I remember when I first learned about “Pause.” in a KING brainstorm meeting. Then I told all my friends in Kansas about it.

    Second of all: “A woman who texts is way easier to ignore. That’s sexy.” ?!?
    You’re awful.

  • Jimmy

    Ace. Love it. Really smart post.

  • Lilie

    Frankly, I’m sure there are a few things you’ve forgotten Jozen. Look at it. Again. One more time. These are mostly things that make you the type of guy that dates an Americanized girl. And they are very superficial, I see nothing about culture… Plus the taco one… seriously? For someone who eats out so much, I was sure your palette had acquired more sophisticated tastes. But it’s all good…

  • Natalie Naomi

    Awesome List!! After reading this post, I can now see why guys think this sh*t is sexy. Especially the getting ready for work one. I’ve caught him staring at me as I prance around in my unmentionables, trying on different outfits. Ha! Sometimes I do it on purpose only cus I know he’s watching!

  • Tiersa McQueen

    You did not lie about tacos. I make them for my husband at least once a week and he never complains.

  • Val


  • me-me

    that’s cause if he did, you wouldn’t give him any.

    y’all know how married women do.. deny their husbands sex when he gets on their nerves and dares him to cheat.

    nothing personal tiersa.. i just find that really funny

  • me-me

    why do men act like a woman has to DO something to turn them on..

    that’s why this list is funny

  • Nona Faye

    I was recovering from a crazy Friday night in which I screamed the words to every song I knew. The next day, I was beyond hoarse, met a guy, talked to him on the phone later that night, and he told me that my voice was so sexy. (?????) On my list of “Things that I KNOW men like about me” (doesn’t physically exist), that never would’ve made the cut. Its always the things that we women can’t and wouldn’t think to control that keep ’em coming back.

  • Lala

    I will say one thing, I think you are gay and you should find a shemale, big strong, deep voice. No worries you should buy a ticket and head for West Hollywood in search of your dreamgirl, the one with something extra…

  • ladyA

    @me-me- r.a.n.d.o.m lmao

  • Daf

    this was so much fun to read , fresh and pretentious !! loved it !!

  • randolpants

    I just wanted to let you know that my name is Randol (boy name), I curse, I’m a vegetarian, and I hate talking on the phone (I can’t multi-task when someone is talking in my ear on a small object).


    In all seriousness though, great blog post. I loved reading it!

  • Lilie


  • ill Mami

    I am a vegan. I’m 5’9” but ran track. My name is unisex (Imani). Tacos are perfect. I am always tired by 11. I have never liked talking on the phone. Usually my steadys complain about my constant computer-updating habits. And I curse…more often than not.

    If it weren’t for the fact that I often ask my boyfriend how I look when I finish primping in the morning, I sound pretty well-matched for you 😉

    Happy hunting!

  • PIER

    i love this blog…..

  • JamminGirl

    So basically you like MEN. Hoarse voice, male names, curse, can’t really cook…

  • Monie

    “Hoarse Voice”

    So Weezie Jefferson’s voice turns you on? Lmao!

  • Teach It

    Bingo! I thought I was the only one who got that vibe from this post. All he seems to do is complain about women and rant about nonexistent situations. And this is inside the mind of a bachelor? Sorry, but the men I know actually like women.

  • JamminGirl

    you’re very childish and irrational.

  • Kita

    tacos and a hoarse voice? ummm…this list was to funny.. lol.

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  • Brooklyn Ice

    Shouts out to Claudia Jean who just put me onto this here (better late than never) and you had me at Taco. CO-SIGN!

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  • Ginastrong2003


  • Lola Rae

    I’m female, so I don’t have an interest in other women. However, like you were saying, I really like when girls have boys names. I’m not sure how young I was when I figured that out, but I think it’s really cool. And I’m pretty sure, that if I ever have a daughter, I’ll give her a unisex or boys name. I always thought I was the only one who liked the idea.