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Lucky Number 200

All I really want to do is tell my stories about my life dealing with the opposite sex. If I’m doing it wrong, then you probably won’t go any further and resume  your regular web surfing routine, right about now. If I’m doing this right, you all will enjoy it, relate to it, tinyurl it, print out your favorite posts and send links to all your friends.

The words above were written on August 3, 2009, taken from the very first post I wrote on this blog you’re reading. Today marks my 200 post.

I don’t know what I expected out of myself when I first started Until I Get Married (or as we have come to call it on Twitter, UIGM). They say write what you know, and no one knows me better than myself, so I went in and have been ever since.

But I’ll tell you what I didn’t expect: The love I receive today from all of you who read UIGM. The countless comments, Retweets on Twitter, re-posts on Facebook, and personal emails of gratitude and umm, criticism.

Through it all, I’ve kept on writing, even when the last thing I felt like doing was writing. My journey has taken all sorts of twists and turns, and I have done my best to document them through the words I write here. For entertainment purposes only? Well yes, but not entirely.

On the very few days I’ve posted late in the day or let a day go by without posting, the void it leaves within me is a very tangible thing. I have definitely wanted to take days off, even considered changing my posting schedule to something less demanding, but the fact of the matter is, I need to write this blog as much as anybody needs to read it. This is how I deal with everything from the loss of a great friend, to the hilarity of some of my experiences with the opposite sex. So yes, I hope everyone who reads this is entertained, but I also hope they feel something.

These days, writing about relationships seems to be the easiest way to be heard, a sell-out move if you will. Steve Harvey did it and got richer than he already was. Other writers do it and get loads of accolades, but not because people deem the work literary or of artistic merit. To a lot of critics, writing about matters of the heart seems to be the writing equivalent of making a movie that focuses on explosions more than acting. And while I do get that, I accept none of it.

Writing about relationships in such a way where people want to read your work over the countless other blogs and books already talking about the same thing takes real skill. A skill not everyone possesses, a skill I am still working on. I know there are blogs people read alongside mine, and I know there are others who don’t read blogs at all, but choose to read mine. No matter the reading pattern and how my work falls into it, I want everyone who takes the time to read my blog to know this: I work damn hard at giving you something of value. Damn. Hard.

This is more than a blog to me, and I hope when people read it, they feel like it’s more than a blog to them. It may not be the cure for cancer I’m writing over here, and no it’s not going to save the world, but all my life, words — both written and spoken — have been primary instruments in my life-changing moments, and all my life, I have wanted my words to do the same for others. So if writing about relationships seems to be a sell-out move, so be it. I know it’s also been a move that has helped people feel better about they’re own life, and writing about all of this stuff, has helped me feel better about mine.

One more thing before I go, a roll call please.

In honor of my 200th post, I would really appreciate anyone reading or as many readers as possible to leave a comment saying how long they have read UIGM, where they’re from, and how they discovered the blog. If you want to be extra nice, feel free to share your favorite posts either with the title or a link back to it.

From every bit of my heart and soul, thank you to everyone who subscribes and reads faithfully. Whether it’s been one or two posts or all 200 of them, I know the journey has not always been easy to keep up with, but you’ve stuck with me anyway, and I appreciate it immensely.

Until I Get Married…


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  • Anj…

    Oakland, EASTBAY, CA – Didn’t realize that I have been reading since the first post. Found you at the Shaka Show. Keep it up, I am a daily reader, well, I am playing catch up today I have been busy with trial prep.

  • Antoinette

    27, PA. I have been reading for about 6 months. We went to Howard together and you are a bro of my husband which is how I found you on FB. I kept seeing all these posts from your blog until I finally decided to sit down and read one. From there I went back to the beginning to catch up and have been enjoying it ever since. I don’t read it every day but I catch up about every week. Keep writing- you are gifted.

  • rwifey

    i’m late commenting because i’m working and thankful for it! I’ve always used writing as a form of getting stuff off my chest, and i never cared for readers. i started a blog, never promoted it, and soon had over 11,000 views. i removed it. then i restarted a new one and began looking at other blogs, namely NWSO. then i started finding others. this one kept popping up as a favorite amongst other bloggers. i clicked the link, no fancy adds or graphics. hmph! i read the first few posts. ehhh, nothing mind blowing. then i got to “i want to run into you every single day”
    i was getting over someone, so it hit hard. i reposted the link on my fb page, i copy and pasted it as a note, i even took a line and made it my fb status. so many, at different points in there lives, commented on different parts of it.
    i was sold!

  • natural nubian

    born in florida, but now working in NYC. i can’t remember how i found your blog (prolly on another site’s blogroll list) and thought the title was very catchy. reading your posts are refreshing for a 20-something woman getting to peak into a 20-something man’s mind. you’re not overly sexual or boastful in your escapades, and refreshingly human compared to other single male blogs….not to mention your ways of complimenting women always make me smile. your writing has an amazing balance and i love the way you only write about what you know. i’ve added your page 2 my favorites list here at work 🙂

  • Ru’a’lu

    Yes, I know I’m late to the gush-fest, but I couldn’t not wish you a happy (belated!) 200th post! I started reading about 3/4 months ago after seeing ‘On holding hands’ on a friends twitter page, I was impressed with that and decided to read your archive, and well, ‘you had me at hello’.
    There is not a day that goes by when I don’t read your blog (and any other writings you happen to put up on your twitter page) and I think you’re a really gifted writer. I’m 25 from London (reppin’ the UK fans!) and as long as you keep writing, I will definetly keep reading.

  • DEEP

    Wow! I have one really busy week at work and I miss this post. I’ll make up for it now…

    I’m from Ann Arbor, MI and I started reading your blog somewhere around this post:

    My sister sent it to me in a message on facebook. I’ve been reading it since then. I’ve read most of the archives in no particular order because I stop and read things that catch my eye. My favorite post was “You Guys Both Lost”.

    I love your blog! You’re doing a great job!

  • Vanessa

    I’m also late to the party here, but I’m just catching up on my google reader feed 🙂 I currently live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama but I’m from Tampa, Florida. I started following your blog after my boyfriend came across a few of your posts and sent them to me. We’re both in our mid-twenties and can identify with your writings in multiple ways!

    I think my (most recent) favorite post is It’s ironic, really, as aforementioned boyfriend and I met in circumstances that could only now be described as pure luck… we lived 600 miles apart for over a year until we decided to jump in the deep end. We are lucky, but I think your post is what usually happens.

    I hope you keep finding things to write about. Your writing is fresh and entertaining 🙂

  • Chani

    Also late to the party. I’m originally from North Carolina, and am currently in Florida for school. I started following your blog after reading an article you wrote on The Root, and I found that it was both entertaining and also really helped give me an insight into the male mind, which, as young as I am, is quite helpful. My current favorite post, I’d have to say, is the one I just read about you and your first girlfriend getting caught by the police officer. Thanks for writing this blog, and happy 200th post!

  • Tia86that

    Definitely tardy to the party but it seems fitting to comment as its my first and it’s on your 200th posting. I stumbled unto your blog a few days ago (yes, days) while reading another one of my blog faves (you are now 1 of 3 that I follow and I’m hooked, congrats). I’m 24, moved from Brooklyn to DC 6 months ago and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. All of it. Every. Damn. Thing.

    Your posts mirror most of what I’m experiencing (you know, minus all the ass smashing) and that’s one of the reasons I love your blog so much. As you try to figure your ish out, your feelings, quirkiness and inconsistencies flow like a leaky pen to paper. Love it. I can’t place a finger on my favorite post but I do take to the sappy stuff, i guess it appeals to the softy in me. Though I must say, your Top 5s are hilarious. Laughing out loud in my cubicle while reading how we unknowingly emasculate you = PRICELESS!!!

  • Pingback: Until I Get Married » So A Year Ago I Started This Blog…()

  • mimi

    I’m 30, originally from So Cal, but been living in Tokyo for about 4 years (but hopefully not much longer… next chapter!). A friend of mine sent me a link to your blog a couple weeks ago and I subscribed to the RSS. Some interesting stuff on here, definitely. And it’s good to see a guy’s perspective on all this relationship stuff. I wish more guys would comment or that we could see the gender at least of the people commenting (I’m a girl, in case you hadn’t guessed).

  • A Diva State of Mind

    25, from the DMV. I found your blog listed on the Black Weblog Awards finalist list this weekend and started reading. UIGM has been added to my Google Reader so I can be sure to stay up to date! It’s nice and refreshing to read about what a man is going through in terms of relationships and dating. Congrats on 1 year!!

  • Tiffany (htownsrealest)

    I’ve been reading your writings since the Hilltop and when I saw Nancy Byron (@rappublicist) tweet about a post on your blog, I said “I wonder if this is Jozen from Howard” sure enough if it was… Your articles, a chicken caesar wrap (from the old dungeon punch out), and a coke was the highlight of HU lunch hours. I’m 26, from Houston, Tx….. Keep writing Jozen, you have a gift, and you’re a blessing to those who need words that others forget about or can’t relate to. HU…. U KNOW, AWWWWWWWWW HU!!!

  • Ingrid

    I’m originally from louisiana but now reside in Dallas. I follow another blog that was also nominated and decided to read at least one if your posts. I think your funny and relatable. If I’m ever in NYC I would love to hang out. We don’t have to get drinks either. You can have a red bull. Just so you know, i vote for you. Not in each category, but you received a couple from me.

  • MissMina

    Glad you asked. I am originally from Washington DC and graduated from Howard ’06. Because Howard is such a big-small world I know several people who know you and as I mentioned in a post before, Jozen is a name you don’t forget. So one of my best friends began forwarding me a few of your posts (“On Faking Orgasms” and “When You Know The Guy She Used To Sleep With”) for the sake of sparking conversation, and I started to visit the blog myself based on that.

    Happy first birthday UGIM!!! You have become a healthy replacement in my life for trashy gossip blogs and I hope you stick around. And please, stay the same. Thanks Jozen!!

  • MissMina

    Tiffany (htownsrealest) :


  • Simone Joy

    Greetings from Atlanta! I discovered your blog after reading Essence magazine sometime in Nov/Dec 2009. I have raved about it ever since. As a Hampton alumna, Id hate to admit that a Howard attendee/ graduate could possibly spark my reading interest as you have ;-)…. Indeed you have great talent as I look forward to reading your perspective daily!

  • Somebody’s Daughter

    Hello from Boston, MA…I’ve been reading for about six or so months now. Your blog is entertaining and insightful. I appreciate how beautifully you narrate. Thank you and Happy Birthday! 🙂

  • liya

    i’ve been reading your blog for about 3 months now and i love it! i’m from milwaukee, wi and living in connecticut right now. i was introduced to it by my boyfriend actually and have been following it since. keep up the great work!

  • NicEShock

    21, GA – First ran into your blog when a friend reposted you on your entry “The Women Hold me Down” since then I’ve been hooked, and have encouraged others to read as well. Love your blogs!

  • fixedwater

    I’ve commented before on occasion, but didn’t respond to this call originally because I was supposed to be working. But I’m gonna go ahead and do it now in honor of your one year anniversary.
    I happened upon you through an article that was in The Root, followed it to your blog, then that to your Twitter, and yes, I’ve become a bit of a cyber stalker it seems. Clearly, I enjoy the blog.
    Congrats and I won’t forget to vote.

  • AlongCameStacey

    Hey Jozen,

    I’ve only been reading for about a month or two. I found your blog through an article about the top men to follow on twitter. I don’t remember where I read that article though (I have a 10 minute memory).

    Happy First Anniversary. *raises glass* Here’s to many, many more. As long as you’re writing, I’ll be here reading.


  • Alexis

    Hey Jozen!

    First off, Happy First Year Annversary!
    And I’m from the city that never sleeps…NEW YORK! I was a Harlemite for a bit…lol anyways…

    I really don’t remember how I discovered your blog. I think it was through Naked With Socks On blogroll, can’t remember. I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning of this year. I enjoy reading your entries and how personal they can be. Your blog and others that I frequent inspired me to start one of my own and to allow my thoughts and opinions to be read.

    Thanks Jozen!

  • SleepingBeauty

    24- Chicago. Found this blog through the Essence website about a year ago. There were 2 months of archives so I read those and subscribed. I have been reading every post. Happy Anniversary!

  • Patty

    I just finished reading your 1yr anniversary post and I decided to fulfill your request of posting a comment on this entry. I’m 30 from Boston. I found your post “browsing” thru my bf’s ex FB page (I know…that sounds mad creepy), but I’m sooo glad I did because I think you’re the best, funniest, truest, most real writer out there. First entry I read was “Five Things I Can’t Do With My Boy Besides The Obvious” I thought it was super funny and I just kept reading ever since. I love your lists, your insights, and your point of view has help me sort and deal with so many difficult situations regarding my personal life. I’m so glad I found your blog!

  • Vionne

    Hey Jozen!

    Happy Anniversary….cheers to you!!!

    I’m 29(knocking on 30) and I hear of your blog through my sister who I believe was stalking someone on facebook (lol…I see that has been a popular way of finding you) and some kind of way came across your blog.

    I’m still new (like only a month) into reading your blog…its been many days that I haven’t gotten any work done because I’m either laughing or reminscing on something you have said. I faithfully read your blog everyday. Continue to do what you do. You are truly an amazing writer and thinker!!!!

  • Vionne

    Oh and my favorite post was “I Still Care” that hit so close to home it wasn’t even funny.

    FYI, I dont even order a burrito from Chiptole anymore….you totally messed that up for me….LOL!!!!

  • Trinity

    Hey jozen!! Well like we say at home in new Orleans hey baaby 🙂
    I’m a 29 year old faithful reader from new Orleans…who lives in Houston. I’ve been following the blog for like 6 months now…and trying to turn all my friends on to you and your spot here. I pray continued success and blessings to you. 🙂

  • tavia

    hi jozen, i’m 21 and i’m from chapel hill, nc. i’ve been reading your blog ever since you were featured in that article about men to follow on twitter and, needless to say, i’ve kept up ever since! your commitment to posting something every weekday has inspired me to revamp my own blog and has, in turn, helped me find my love for writing again. i think your blog is wonderfully written (as well as your work in other publications), and i plan to keep reading as long as you keep writing.

  • TeamPhonsi

    this is truely an inspirational blog-site and more than that straight chatting and to the point advise from Jozen and all…

    Live in the United Kingdom in a satellite town called Milton Keynes but originally from Zimbabwe. Am 29 and started reading your blog November last year but have never commented 🙁
    Was on essence online when i saw something that caught my eye and made me go on your site. Whilst snowed in last year over the Xmas holiday (long story that is) caught up on all your entries and was one of the talking points between my fiance and i.

    Cheers to you on your 1st year anniversary and you have so much talent. Glad you sharing it with everyone. Hope you have many more years to writing in whatever medium you choose.

  • RJ

    Hello. I discovered your blog through a FB post of a friend. The blog was poppin’ the question #10 I believe and it had links to other posts and I became glued to your blog then. I’m 30 from Columbus, OH and share some of your experiences and can find the humor or insight in others. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

  • Jen

    40-year old, married, white female from California. Imagine that?!

    I’ve been reading your blog since September 2009. I came across it after reading your “Why Jay-Z Should Rap About Marriage” article. I believe there was a link to that article on MSN’s home page.

    Congratulations on your one year anniversary.

  • Carlton

    Yo I started reading the blog after a good friend sent me one of your posts and I’ve been reading it ever since. Keep it up, man.

  • SoCalBelle

    Still reading and loving every minute. Here is to getting you 1 post closer to 200!
    I’m 32, living in **looks at screen name**. I’ve had your blog saved under my favourites for months, but only started reading a few days ago. Didn’t realise I ‘ve been sitting on this gem for so long. Like I said I’m savouring each post and trying to make them last.:-)

  • Anonymous

    “In honor of my 200th post, I would really appreciate anyone reading or as many readers as possible to leave a comment saying how long they have read UIGM, where they’re from, and how they discovered the blog.”

    lol, I was actually going to do a bit of that anyway. I came across your blog sometime last year. I think it was on someone’s blogroll, and it seemed to hold some promise, so I bookmarked it for future reading. I don’t frequent too many blogs, but there are a few that capture my interest and leave me determined to get from start to finish. This is one of them, and only the third that I’ve successfully embarked on the journey with, thus far. I only recently managed to start grinding my way through the posts, but I’m steadily forging ahead.  

    Jozen, you’re a gifted writer. Your posts are amusing, heart-felt, genuine, and much more. The only thing I wish you did differently is to interact with your commenters, but you’ve already touched on why you don’t, and I respect your decision. I absolutely enjoy your blog, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time poring over more of your posts this weekend. Oh, and I’m a Canadian living just outside of Toronto. Nigerian by birth, though. 

    Oh, and although I don’t have a favorite post per se, yours is my favorite blog to date.

  • Ashley

    Late to the party…no big deal though. 

    I’ve been reading your blog for a couple months now, I’m from the east coast and I ran across it because of the Black Weblog Awards. I was trying to find some inspirations, some good material to read and you won best personal blog so I decided to take a look. After doing so, I was hooked…fell in love with your writing style and frank personality, so much so that I went back to the beginning of your blog to read it from the top…which is what brought me to this post today. 😉

    I think my favorite posts are “I Want To Run Into You Every Single Day” and “On Laughing”–I actually have the latter bookmarked. They both show sides of you that we don’t necessarily see that much but that I feel give us more of a connection to you than posts that talk about random encounters or life with your lovers.